The Marmot's Hole

Korea... in Blog Format

Tag: World Cup 2010 (page 1 of 2)

England vs. Germany

36 min: If you’re English, this is looking real, real ugly.

37 min: OK, I take that back — England scores, and then scores again, but the refs don’t call it. Still Germany 2, England 1. From the Guardian:

39 min: 1966 IN REVERSE!!! Lampard hammers a long shot goalwards. Finally in an England shirt it’s a peach, looping over Neuer’s head and bouncing off the underside of the crossbar and into the net, before spinning out. It’s miles over the line – but the goal’s not given! Lampard can’t believe it. You may well hear about this again.

Still, this is all very good fun.

67 min: The Germans strike again! 3—1 Germany.

70 min: The Germans are just pouring it on now. 4—1.

It’s Over: Germany 4, England 1. I can’t say that was the match I was expecting.

USA vs Ghana

So far, it’s USA 0, Ghana 1 in the first half.

AT THE HALF: USA 0, Ghana 1. I think it would tear the time—space continuum for the USA to score first.

UPDATE: Donovan takes the penalty… and scores! USA 1, Ghana 1.

AFTER TWO HALVES: USA 1, Ghana 1. One day the USA will learn to play two halves. We’ll be getting an extra 30 minutes.

UPDATE: Shit! Ghana scores.

GAME OVER, MAN: Ghana goes on. USA goes home.

Korea vs. Uruguay

If you’re not watching it, you can follow it via Al-Guardian’s min-by-min.

UPDATE: Uruguay scores on some bad goalkeeping.

But hey, if it makes the Korean fans feel any better:

Note: OK, something that kind of annoys me — the use of given names on the Korean jerseys. I mean, I understand why they do it, but I still don’t like it. I’d rather they just do it like the Yankees and leave the names off completely.

Half-time: Korea 0, Uruguay 1. Korea’s forwards are running around the pitch with a lot of energy, though, with a couple of real nice runs.

By way of half-time entertainment, I give you this video, sent to me by a reader/emailer who is convinced I hate Canada:

Cute. PS: Thanks for the Nordiques and Jets.

UPDATE: Koreans have come out fighting in the second half. They really seem to be controlling the game at this point: Uruguay can’t seem to mount any attack at all.

PS: Will somebody please tell the SBS guys to stop bitching about the lack of fouls on Uruguay?

UPDATE: GOALLLLLLLLLL! Park Chu-young. Given the way Korea has dominated this game in the second half, it had to happen. Frankly, Korea deserves to win this game the way things are going now.

UPDATE: Uruguay scores to go up 2—1. Boy, that Suarez guy is all over the pitch.

IT’S OVER: Uruguay holds on to win 2—1. The Koreans put up a hell of a fight, but man, Lee Dong-gook…

From the Marmot’s Hole’s football commentator iheartblueballs:

Korea played well, but their loss came down to the same two factors that have been apparent since day one: Crippling defensive lapses and lack of finishers.

They had plenty of opportunity, but just don’t have the elite goal-scorers that can capitalize.

Uruguay’s performance definitely makes me feel a lot better about the US chances should we advance. You know the US scouts are currently scribbling in their notebooks “heavy pressure will put Uruguay on their heels.”

testosteron [sic] sprinkled hole stuff

With apologies to nuna, I link to some stuff we yucky boys might like (probably SFW, but maybe not), namely:

More on North Korea and South Africa

For the record, a) I don’t like mixing sports and politics (other than rooting against countries I dislike), b) I think there’s a tendency to overestimate the impact of sanctions on South Africa, and c) even IF I were were to grant that they had a considerable impact on South Africa, they’d have absolutely nil impact on North Korea.

Still, I like this piece in Newsweek, because it asked what I did yesterday, namely, if countries like apartheid South Africa get banned, how the hell does North Korea get in. Read it in its entirety, but here’s just a particularly good sample:

People who dismiss boycotts say they punish ordinary people rather than those in power, and furthermore, that cultural exchanges like orchestra tours and sports matches help dispel the sense of otherness that hangs over pariah peoples, allowing us to recognize our common humanity. Permit me to suggest that, in the case of North Korea and the World Cup, this is idiocy. Consider North Korea’s star player, the striker Jong Tae-se. A vocal and charismatic 20-something nicknamed “The People’s Wayne Rooney,” Jong has asserted that North Korea’s participation in the World Cup will do a great deal to demystify the country, win it respect and understanding abroad, and stoke pride at home. Indeed, Jong himself leads a totally normal and enjoyable-sounding life, by professional-athlete standards. He rolls in a silver Hummer, loves to snowboard, travels with an iPod and a Nintendo, and aspires to bed one of the Wondergirls—the Spice Girls of Seoul. He has also never lived in North Korea. He was born in Japan and continues to reside there, in the better-off Korean diaspora. He was the one who told the newspapers about his North Korean teammates’ quaint penchant for rock-paper-scissors. If Jong doesn’t represent the existence of Joe Ebrahim’s “dual life” in terms of North Korean society—in which a few nation-glorifying stars are allowed to pursue a capitalist lifestyle while most forage for food and dream about basic rights—I don’t know what does.

Great points about Jong (personal blog here) — yes, I know I’m supposed to understand the special circumstances and complex history of Japanese Koreans, and he certainly seems to be a colorful character, but I can’t skip over the fact that he’s a South Korean citizen who chose to play for the North, which isn’t exactly like choosing to play for Belgium.

(HT to Yuna)

Well, I Suppose It’s Better than Getting Shot

Tough football crowd, Korea is:

KBS newscaster Kim Bo-min, 32, is suffering from a mass cyber attack on her personal homepage.

Malicious comments flooded the anchor’s Cyworld after the end of the national team’s match with Nigeria on June 23. Her daily visitor number currently exceeds 400,000, while over 3,000 insulting comments have swamped her visitor page.

Most remarks are related to her husband Kim Nam-il, 33, a defender for the national team. Kim permitted a penalty kick to the opposing team with a clumsy foul, resulting in the Nigerians’ second goal and the anger of many Korean football fans.

Still, Kim has to be feeling better about himself than Yakubu Aiyegbeni:

USA Wins! USA Wins!

I couldn’t see the match, as KBS was showing Slovakia Slovenia and some really boring team wearing red, but the US — after some very bad finishing and getting sodomized by a ref once again — scored a minute into injury time to beat Algeria.


The USA finishes atop Group C. The team that beat Slovakia Slovenia also advances.

Korea Draws with Nigeria, Advances to Round of 16

You saw it, and now you can talk about it.

Next up, Uruguay.

DPRK Spanking, Live Broadcasts and the South Africa Irony

Commenter Hamel wrote:

Prediction: international media stories will focus on the national disgrace caused to North Korea by the 7 nil result, and then lead on (quite naturally) to discussions of the players’ fate when they return to Pyongyang – and perhaps IF they will return

Well, Hamel, from the Guardian:

The collapse in North Korea’s fortunes was all the more surprising after their ultra-defensive strategy had frustrated Brazil for so long in the opening fixture. After today’s match the players trooped silently back to the dressing room, heads down, and did not speak to reporters.

Perhaps fearful of the repercussions back home for his squad, North Korea’s manager, Kim Jong-hun, attempted to deflect blame on to himself. “As the coach, it was my fault for not playing the right strategy,” he said. “That is why we conceded so many goals.”

The Guardian story is actually slightly interesting, dealing as it does with the decision by North Korea to broadcast the game live:

Foreign residents in North Korea said the news of the live broadcast spread like wildfire. “This is significant,” said Simon Cockerell of Beijing-based Koryo Tours, which has organised several trips to the isolated nation.

“I have seen a lot of games in North Korea and they never show them live. I doubt there has been a letter-writing campaign, but they do seem receptive to the public desire to see live football.”

For what it’s worth, North Korea reportedly broadcast the entire slaughter, although the broadcast ended almost as soon as the game did, with no post-game commentary. Probably for the best really — don’t think the masses are ready to watch Jong “Hummer” Tae-se (see also here) do a post-game interview in stammering, highly accented Korean.

Anyway, a comment by Milton drew my attention to an irony I hadn’t really noticed till now, namely, we have North Korea playing in an international competition in South Africa, a nation that spent much of the apartheid era barred from international sporting competitions. Even hosting a South African team — for instance, the Springboks — for a tour was sure to spark massive protests or, as was the case in New Zealand in 1981, a virtual national uprising. Now, you have South Africa playing host to a team from a nation led by one of the worst — if not the worst — regimes of the post-war era, right after it just murdered 46 South Korean sailors, and nary a word is said (unless, of course, you’re a South Korean “progressive,” in which case you’re organizing cheering sessions).


UPDATE: More on the live broadcast of the North Korea game, Kim Jong-il and what happens when you lose:

North Korea’s players were feted as heroes when they returned home last year after qualifying for the World Cup. The sport is North Korea’s most popular and has one exceptionally important fan: leader Kim Jong Il.

Kim, 68, used North Korea’s 1966 World Cup success as political capital in his campaign to take over leadership from his father, Kim Il Sung, according to Moon Ki-nam, a former national coach for North Korea who defected to South Korea in 2004.
[D]efectors, including the ex-North Korea coach, said poor play overseas has meant punishment at home, including being “purged” and sent to coal mines.

The North Korea coach insisted Sunday that no punishment would await the team if it failed to advance.

“Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose; it doesn’t always turn out the way you want. But there are going to be no further consequences,” he said.

Portugal 7, North Korea 0

Christ, what did I just watch?

Or more interestingly, what did the North Koreans just watch?

And why is KBS playing “Purple Rain”?

I Guess Even North Korea Has to Have Fans

Meet Bryan Clark, a 58-year-old logistics company manager from Portsmouth, England and North Korea’s most devoted fan:

Bryan Clark is a 58-year-old logistics-company manager from Portsmouth, England. He also is, for reasons that do not entirely come clear in the Guardian’s or the AFP’s recent profiles on him, one of the world’s most devoted North Korea fans. He travels around the world going to their matches, toting a specially designed North Korean flag emblazoned with the word “Portsmouth.” You could get sent to a pretty bad camp in North Korea for writing “Portsmouth” on the flag, but then, you could also get sent to a pretty bad camp for traveling to one of the national team’s football matches. So it all works out in the end.

To some extent, I feel like I understand the man — I did, after all, grow up a fan of the Hartford Whalers. Granted, as far as I know, neither Ron Francis, nor Kevin Dineen, nor Sylvain Turgeon (flake he might have been), nor even Ulf Samuelsson ever starved three million people or exploded nuclear devices. They did, however, have the worst goal music in the NHL:

(HT to reader)


Slovenia 2, USA 0 at the half.


UPDATE: USA ties! USA ties! 2—2.

PS: Is the Bradley family allergic to hair?

UPDATE: Game over. 2—2 draw. Christ, that was fun.

Korea vs. the Argies

34 minutes in, and it’s looking real, real ugly. It’s 0-2 for Satan’s squad, who seem to be having way too much fun out there.

See the Guardian’s minute-by-minute here.

UPDATE: Lee Chung-yong scores! Korea 1: Satan 2 at the half. Seriously, Korea needed that goal, because I’m no football expert, but it seemed the Argies were putting on a clinic. This could be far, far worse than 2-1.

A funny from the Guardian:

“German TV have just trotted out a stat that the Korean players are on average ten centimetres shorter than their opponents,” blabs Iain Copestake. “However, they have failed to mention the drag coefficients cause by Argentina having far more hair.”

UPDATE: Yeom Ki-hun could have just tied it!

Didn’t. But he could have. You gotta give Korea credit — they’re putting up a fight.

Oh, and here’s the American view of football, from the Simpsons:

UPDATE: Argies go up 3—1. I guess it had to happen eventually.

Diego Maradona’s still the Antichrist, though.

UPDATE: 4–1 Argies. Gulp.

UPDATE: Alright, the slaughter has mercifully ended. Argies 4–1, but Diego Maradona still has to go home as Diego Maradona.

An Aesthetically Pleasing Way to Taunt the Argies

Hard not to appreciate this.

People Get Laid When Their Team Wins

The World Cup: share it with someone you love:

On the Saturday night of Korea’s convincing victory over Greece in their opening match of the 2010 South Africa World Cup, convenience stores recorded a jump in condom sales.

It may be thanks largely to the raging hormones of hundreds of thousands of young people braving the rain in rooting for their team outdoors across the nation. Perhaps, it may need two more victories from Korea to see a firm correlation between the two.

GS25, a convenience store subsidiary of GS Group, said Monday that its outlets had sold about 5,000 condoms on Saturday, a five-fold increase from four years ago during the Germany World Cup.

Oh, it gets better:

“When folks are excited, their sympathetic nerves are stimulated. When they relax afterward their parasympathetic nerves are aroused,” said Park Jung-soo, a neurologist at Hanyang University

“The switches are similar to the mechanisms of male ejaculation. Watchers of intriguing sports games feel such switches several times over the course of the games. At the end of the day, they may be susceptible to sexual arousal.”

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