North Korea declares full combat readiness

North Korea’s military command has just released a statement declaring that the entire military, including strategic rocket forces, are at full combat readiness. Or as VOA’s Steve Herman put it:

Lots of other ominous language, too. Maybe they’ll do something. Or not. Who knows?

UPDATE: Funny—the North is quoting the Chosun Ilbo’s report about attacking Kim Il-sung statues. I’ve always suspected the first thing North Korean leaders do in the morning is read the Chosun Ilbo.

UPDATE 2: Seoul is busy trying to figure out what “No. 1 combat ready posture” even means. Security-related officials think it means North Korea’s highest state of combat readiness, but it’s a term they’ve never really heard before. Complicating matters is that not only does North Korea lack an official defense readiness system vis-a-vis the South, but the terms it uses for said readiness seem to change all the time, too.

  • ZenKimchi

    It’s Best No. 1 combat ready posture. One more, and it would be Best No. 1 Luxury combat ready posture.

  • Robert Koehler

    Seriously, I think over half the shit North Korea says is meaningless BS made up by mischievous government propagandists just for kicks. “Hey, Beavis, watch the New York Times soil themselves when I write THIS.”

  • que337

    Yes, he is ready.

  • Duke Shin

    Oh god my sides

  • Cliff Smith

    No. 1 Combat Ready Posture means that they have given each man 2 potatoes instead of the daily ration of 1. This is intended to bolster their patriotism and fighting fervour. If they do attack however the fervour will evaporate at the first South Korean observation post when they find all the tons of candy wrappers and empty coke cans left by the departing ROK spotters and realise they have all been duped.

  • LaCoreen

    No. 1 combat ready posture: Shout really hard about this posture, so that other’s may know it’s the final boss of all ready postures.
    No. 2 combat ready posture: Frowning really hard.
    No.3 combat ready posture: Upload youtube videos of propaganda

  • LaCoreen

    I think that the best weapon against North Korean soldiers would be mass airdrop of vintage Playboy magazines and candy. “Hey, give up your brigade commander and we’ll let you devour not one but all four of these delicious 새콤달콤. Toughest choice he will ever have to make.

  • Mr. Yu

    I believe you are on to something!

  • Horace Jeffery Hodges

    Let’s target this statue first!

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

  • The Real Truth

    South Korea will no doubt respond by going into ‘Top Number One Best Premium Readiness’ status, which means that the ministers and generals will have to limit their golf games to four per month instead of the usual 8.

  • brier

    And no 19th hole!

  • cactusmcharris

    que, that’s in remarkably good taste and funny!

  • RElgin

    Combat ready posture no1 looks like this . . .

  • Avaast

    As I understand it, Southern forces were at Jindo Dog 1 early this morning (진돗개 하나).

  • SomeguyinKorea

    North Korea’s “No.1 combat ready posture” involves bending forward and spreading their cheeks.

  • Sigmund

    If any American who knows nothing about North Korea ends up here, well here’s a quote from a South Korean (my wife about 10 minutes ago) which sums up the general reaction to this new round of North Korean saber rattling, “What the fuck? The assholes didn’t even close the Kaesong!”. The North Korean government earns 2 billion dollars per year from South Korean own factories at the Kaesong industrial complex.

  • Sigmund

    Correction: “What the fuck? The assholes didn’t even close Kaesong!”

  • SomeguyinKorea

    I’m North Kornholio. I need TP for my bunghole.

  • Wedge1

    I thought your first quote was with authentic grammatical errors. 😉

  • Wedge1

    We’ll know it’s time to worry when they break out the barrels of WD-40 for their rusted T-55 tanks.

  • RElgin

    The DPRK keeps their gear in as good a condition as possible even if it is older.
    They are not casual or careless folk.