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And in today’s episode of ‘The Great Korean Shit-Talking War’…

UPDATE: Oh Christ, now North Korea really means business:

스크린샷, 2013-03-08 18:09:13

Some cool shots of chicks with ushankas and AKs, too.

ORIGINAL POST: North Korea declared today it was ripping up non-aggression agreements with the South:

North Korea has announced it is voiding non-aggression pacts with South Korea and severing its hotline with Seoul, hours after threatening the US with a pre-emptive nuclear strike.

North Korea “abrogates all agreements on non-aggression reached between the North and the South,” the state-run Committee for the Peaceful Reunification of Korea said in a statement.

“It notifies the South side that it will immediately cut off the North-South hotline,” said the statement, which was carried by the official Korean Central News Agency.

Given the sinking of the Cheonan and the shelling of Yeonpyeong-do, you’d be forgiven for believing there were no such agreements to abrogate.

Anyway, nice hats, guys. Looking sharp.

North Korea criticized the Key Resolve and Foal Eagle exercises, too:

“The frantic Key Resolve and Foal Eagle joint military exercises being staged by the South Korean warmongers together with the U.S. in the land, air and seas of South Korea … are open acts of aggression against the DPRK and a vivid expression of wanton violation of all the agreements on nonaggression reached between the North and the South,” the statement said.

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un also visited yesterday the coastal artillery unit that bombarded Yeonpyeong-do , where he said the Korean military was ready to commence a “Korean-style full-scale war”—I’ll allow readers to interpret on their own what that means.

Kim also apparently got to ride a boat while he was down there (see last photo), which must have been fun.

The South Koreans have aren’t taking it quietly—they’d don’t have North Korea’s mad, Gary Payton-esque trash-talking skills, but they’ve still got game. South Korean trash talk also tends to be blissfully easier to translate.

Defense Ministry Kim Min-seok warned North Korea that if they attacked the South with a nuke, the Kim Jong-un regime would “vanish from the earth.” Sure, nukes were used to end World War II, Kim noted, but if the North attacks a society living happily within a liberal democratic system like South Korea, mankind would not forgive them. He also said North Korea’s talk of preemptive nuclear strikes were a threat and blackmail directed at the Korean people.

About KJU’s visit to the unit that attacked Yeonpyeong-do, Kim said he thought the visit showed North Korea’s intention to launch provocations against the South, but warned that no matter where Kim Jong-un goes or what he does, the South Korean military would mercilessly respond to North Korean provocations. He added that this time, there would be no limit to the scale of South Korea’s retaliation.

The main way South Korea shit talks, though, is by leaking stuff to the conservative press. In this case, the JoongAng Ilbo got their hands on some video material that lends credence to South Korean threats that they’d go after command units should North Korea launch a provocation. The video shows not only the headquarters building of what experts believe to be the unit that hit Yeonpyeong-do, but also marks the location within that building of the command room. A military official said the location of the room was learned through humint. According to the report, South Korea could hit that office with SLAM-ERs launched from F-15Ks.

Not all is shit talk, though—the Chosun Ilbo warned that with the North Koreans talking of a new precision nuclear devise, there is speculation the North might have their hands on an honest-to-God EMP device. North Korea’s never mentioned they have one, but former CIA analyst Peter Vincent Pry said Russian scientists had told him that EMP technology had been leaked to the North Koreans.

If the North Koreans were to detonate an EMP device over South Korea, it would truly such since not only is Korea the world’s most wired nation, but it’s major military command facilities have done a piss-poor job of proofing themselves against an EMP attack. The ROK military is working on improving the situation, but protection won’t be complete until 2015.

It would also suck if a North Korean EMP went off over the United States, although I must confess, “Dark Angel” was a pretty cool series. Shame it lasted only two seasons.

Oh, and North Korea might test launch a mobile ICBM.

About the author: Just the administrator of this humble blog.

  • SalarymaninSeoul

    Korean style war? I like Korea, for the most part, but haven’t Koreans been kicked around for thousands of years? When was the last time Korea was a victor in a major war?

  • wangkon936

    1598 baby! Pyrrhic victory to be sure, but still won. Then there would be the Goryo-Khitan wars of the 13th century. Won most of those. Again, bunch of pyrrhic victories. Next would be the Silla-Tang wars of the 7th century.

  • SalarymaninSeoul

    Well, I see we have to fear Korean style war.

  • One for all

    Korean style war – brought to you by America and China :P

  • SalarymaninSeoul

    Jimmy Carter is at fauit for all of this. There should have been no North Korea for the past 15 years

  • wangkon936

    Believe it or not, the Korean way of war was studied in the Department of National Security and Strategy, U.S. Army War College.

    There was an article written by someone there titled, “The Korean Way of War: The Battle of the Salsu River.”

    http://books.google.com/books/about/The_Korean_Way_of_War.html?id=hLyPHAAACAAJ

  • wangkon936

    Traditionally, Koreans fight very well behind fortifications, but not very well when facing standing armies with their own standing armies. They are also good at guerilla warfare, which isn’t an American strength. They are not as sneaky as the Vietcong though and probably wouldn’t use as many IEDs as the Iraqis or Al Qaeda. However, Koreans are VERY GOOD at antiinsurgency, which any North Vietnamese or Vietcong will tell you.

  • wangkon936

    “… the Chosun Ilbo warned that with the North Koreans talking of a new precision nuclear devise, there is speculation the North might have their hands on an honest-to-God EMP device.”

    The Chosun Ilbo has been watching too many movies and been playing Homefront too much.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homefront_(video_game)

  • http://twitter.com/Sinister_Seoul Sinister

    It’s basically South Korea’s fault for putting up with the mischief for so long. Any north Korean aggression should be responded to with 10 times the force. Bullies only understand violence, next time they do something a serious ass kicking is in order.

  • SalarymaninSeoul

    Is that like Ethiopian cooking?

  • http://www.rjkoehler.com Robert Koehler

    Ever have Ethiopian food?

  • SalarymaninSeoul

    Has anyone?

  • 코리아

    So does all this cutting off communication, canceling non-aggression pacts, and yaddah yaddah yaddah mean that they are going to stop taking South Korean money for the Kaesong Industrial Project? All kind of empty rhetoric from both sides as long as the factories are still fired up over there.

  • stereo

    How many nukclear shelters does Korea have for its citizens and foreigners?

  • wangkon936

    I have. Lots of flat bread and beans. Curry-like spices.

  • http://www.rjkoehler.com Robert Koehler

    Yeah, I have. It’s pretty good, too, and not entirely uncommon in the West, although I can’t say I’m surprised you haven’t had it.

  • SalarymaninSeoul

    Have you tried every cuisine?

  • JG29A

    “Korean-style full-scale war”

    Hungover and chronically sleep-deprived?

  • felddog13

    I lived in DC for a while–buncha Ethiopian joints there in the Adams-Morgan area. really good stuff.

  • SalarymaninSeoul

    many and none?

  • Davoh

    “suicide” bombers are not rational.

  • Avaast

    I enjoyed the boat comment.

  • http://www.rjkoehler.com Robert Koehler

    I used to buy injera bread from a grocery shop in Adams Morgan. Good times, good times.

  • Jimbo

    Nam-nam, buk-yeo my ass.

  • http://twitter.com/Sinister_Seoul Sinister

    Wow, I’m frightened now. That ‘woman’ is terrifyingly ugly. She’s got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle!

  • Anonymous_Joe

    Interesting point in article at CNN (http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/08/world/asia/north-korea-sanctions/index.html?hpt=hp_t1):

    South Korean President Park Geun-hye, who took office late last month, said Friday that Seoul would respond strongly to any provocation from Pyongyang, the semiofficial news agency Yonhap reported.

    The possibility of flare up was highlighted by the Washington-based Center for Strategic and International Studies, which predicted a provocative move from the North “in the coming weeks.”

    The center said that according to its research, Pyongyang has carried out “a military provocation of some form within weeks of every South Korean presidential inauguration dating back to 1992.”

  • hardyandtiny

    sad photo

  • http://twitter.com/KTLit Charles Montgomery

    LOL.. bad man that I am, I took Sis’s answer to be a joke about famines…

  • que337

    It’s a nutrition problem. I remember having read at TMH that NK women look bloated because they drink lots of salty water to mitigate hunger. NK defectors living in SK look pretty:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1SyC7Gv86c

  • http://kuiwon.wordpress.com/ Kuiwon

    I vaguely remember Chosun sending a small army to help the Qing fight off the Russians in the 17th century and winning.

  • cm

    They grew up with very harsh lives, beyond what a normal human body can take. If ugliness is a form of deformity caused by mental/physical stress, then North Korea is a perfect example.

  • SalarymaninSeoul

    Does the pig in the photo have Down syndrome? Id love to gut her

  • Sigmund

    South Korea has most certainly made plans to fight an unconventional war on the peninsula. North Korea couldn’t possibly win on its own.

  • SomeguyinKorea

    I vaguely remember reading somewhere that puffy faces like hers are actually a sign of malnutrition in North Korea, something about a diet based on potatoes not providing the same nutrients as other staples like corn.

  • SomeguyinKorea

    As I said in a previous comment, I vaguely remember reading that it had something to do with malnutrition caused by them surviving on a diet of potatoes only.

  • bumfromkorea

    Really good stuff. There are two restaurants within 3 miles of where I live.

  • Cloudfive

    I’ve eaten Ethiopian food plenty of times, as have many who live in cities with immigrant populations. As a college student in NYC, Polish, Indian and Ethiopian restaurants were extremely cheap… mmmm pierogies. You need to get out more.

  • Cloudfive

    I find it mushy and a bit oily. I also stopped eating mushy Indian food after getting sick several times, but love Tandoori dishes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=783315197 Shelton Bumgarner

    please stay safe, everyone in South Korea is all I gotta say. From what I have been able to read today, it looks as though the NORKs could be up to some Tom Foolerly this weekend. I am still quite curious as to what, in real terms, a nullification of the armistice agreement would mean. Does that mean no more DMZ? All of this is just an attempt to angle the West into a negotiating, right? It just doesn’t seem like that is going to happen….then what? What if the NORKs do a “live fire” event yet again and…nothing happens? Are they just going to keep upping the ante until the West gets so frustrated that they fire back?

  • que337

    I think you are talking about 나선정벌 (羅禪征伐):

    .http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyojong_of_Joseon#Northern_campaigns

  • bumfromkorea

    Texture is not its greatest strength (though some of the chicken, lamb, and beef dishes have incredibly tender texture), but I find the taste very enjoyable.

    Plus, I like lentil.

    I stopped eating Indian food. Too salty.

  • que337

    Here is a news article about why NK female soldiers look “glamorous”:

    http://article.joinsmsn.com/news/article/article.asp?total_id=7933496&ctg=1000

  • keyinjpop

    Yes but I like her hat.

  • wangkon936

    They are starving but they can still afford double eye lid surgery… @@…

  • wangkon936

    Yeah, but how is it that this chick in the ushanka was able to afford 쌍꺼풀 수술?

  • wangkon936

    Qing should have given us at least southern Jilin province for that bit of help. Well, at least Joseon should have asked… :P

  • http://profiles.google.com/dcmusicfreak DC Musicfreak

    As a DC resident, I’m good for about 3 Ethiopian meals a year. It’s all right, but not much to write home about if you’ve lived in Asia and enjoyed those various cuisines.

  • http://ethlenn.blogspot.com/ Ethlenn

    You know in movies the villain (or dumb protagonist as well) talks and talks, and reveals all plans, and then is disarmed by one nice kick? The Greatest Country in Galaxy also talks and talks and displays all…

  • http://www.gofundme.com/1k98a8 Jakgani

    An abnormally small chin, oblique eye fissures on the inner corner of the eyes, a flat nasal bridge, ormacroglossia (face is flat and broad), a short neck, short fingers, small heads ALL common features of people with Down syndrome are also common features of Korean people.

  • cm

    I think you got it backwards. The staple of North Koreans is low quality corn with poor nutritional value. They are probably lucky even if they get that. It is also against the law to kill and butcher a cow. They are reserved as farm animals to plow the fields.

  • RElgin

    The EMP device is real though there are limitations to its range. Ukrainians know more about this too, as well as others, so its not such a secret.

  • RElgin

    I will not move back there though. I had enough of it all.

  • http://twitter.com/Sinister_Seoul Sinister

    She’s obviously ‘special’ forces.

  • Anonymous_Joe

    I hope the apparatuses are not only shielded but also distributed.

  • SomeguyinKorea

    Maybe, but that’s what I recall reading.

  • cm

    That’s what I’ve heard from North Korean testimonies. Also, as Que’s link (Joongang Ilbo article) says the NK women soldiers, to avoid hunger pains, are seriously addicted to eating salt soup. All that natrium bloats their bodies and the organs. Their bodies and minds are damaged probably beyond repair.

  • http://kuiwon.wordpress.com/ Kuiwon

    Wasn’t King Hyojong the same king that wanted to invade Qing China? Regardless of which king, I don’t think that would have gone well.

  • jakganicunt529592

    would happily kick your face in

  • SomeguyinKorea

    It’s sodium in English, and it would do a job on the kidneys. The malnutrition would affect the rest of the organs.

    Another reason why it will cost a fortune to take care of North Koreans’ medical needs if and when the North collapses.

    Just another reason why reunification could bankrupt South Korea.

  • http://www.seoulmetro.co.kr/station/eng/linemap.action Craash

    He must have described you well… for you to get so upset… or are you just stalking him?