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Last time I checked, nobody had a ‘right’ to get laid

In the Korea Times, we have this bewildering piece about how the sexual “rights” of the disabled are being ignored.

Look, I’m all in favor of legalized prostitution, but sex as a social welfare service for the sexually undesirable? Are you freakin’ serious?

Nearly 2.42 million people are registered as disabled as of June 2009, with 95 percent of them disabled due to disease or accident, according to state statistics.

With no efficient measures to counter the discrimination and bias, “sex volunteers” have emerged as a possible solution.

As the name implies, sex volunteers refer to a group of healthy people who are willing to sleep with disabled people as part of social welfare program. Other services offered in the program include helping masturbation and an affair between a disabled man and woman. The direct sex service is not punishable here, law experts said, as long as the service is offered for free.

Fortunately, it seems the government has little interest in this idea.

About the author: Just the administrator of this humble blog.

  • dww

    layed?

  • R. Elgin

    I thought you detested April Fool’s jokes (?) even if it is a few days late.

  • numberoneoppa

    Laid, man. Somebody’s been in Korea a bit too long. :P

    I agree with you on your post, though.

  • chrisinsouthkorea

    Because the sexual rights of the disabled are their biggest concerns? What about little things like jobs, access to buildings, or fair treatment by the rest of the locals?

    That said, I can picture more than a few people signing up to be ‘sex volunteers’…

  • hamel

    I’m surprised that men – you too, Robert – are against this.

    Why?

  • Baek-du boy

    The article was quite thought provoking and not bewildering at all until the last paragraph or two.

    I don’t think sex volunteering is a good solution. Having exposure to build relationships among the disabled and non disabled and further education is a good starting point. In Korea’s case it’s further education among the non-disabled.

    I was appalled during my time in Korea how ignorant most people were to the disabled. In fact most babies born disabled in Korea were adopted overseas…not sure if this is still the case, but it certanily was even a few years ago.

    Many Koreans aren’t often exposed to disabled people, and can’t think of them as any use to society. They don’t know how capable disabled people can be.

  • SomeguyinKorea

    “2.42 million people are registered as disabled”

    How many of them really are disabled? I’m asking because I’ve seen so many healthy-looking drivers park in spaces reserved for the disabled, and to my surprise they actually had a disabled person placard (no, they weren’t picking someone up).

    I once told a student who had parked in one of the spaces next to my office reserved for the disabled to park elsewhere. When he pointed at the placard, I asked whom it was for. “My mother”, he said with a grin. “Where’s your mother?”, I replied. As suspected, she wasn’t at school. I made him move his car.

  • Wedge

    #7: In California it seems half the populace is on some form of workman’s comp. That and six-figure civil servant pensions are why the Golden State is doing so well.

  • seouldout

    What about little things like jobs, access to buildings, or fair treatment by the rest of the locals?

    Little things?! Heck, let’s aim for the sky why don’t we? Level sidewalks.

  • http://www.bcarr.com Brendon Carr

    This isn’t just Korea — it’s a common feature of developed countries with a hyperactive nanny state — i.e., the wealthier countries of the European Union. Last year I read an article in the UK’s Daily Mail which led me to a video clip somewhere on the Net reporting a disabled British adult travelling with his father to Amsterdam to visit the red light district.

    I have to admit, the guy was a sympathetic character and my overall feeling after watching the report was that this was not a bad thing. It does seem to be something which the state ought not to be funding, but on the other hand it’s awful for me as an able-bodied, exceptionally-handsome man to contemplate a life trapped in a twisted, non-functioning body which condemns one to be unable to find a willing partner. The way they described it, this guy has sex only on these annual excursions with his Dad.

    The Amsterdam prostitutes seemed very kind and understanding, too. All in all, to my mind, it was a positive thing the state was doing for its disabled citizen.

  • keith

    @ 9 I’m pretty sure that the crappy sidewalks are probably a fairly regular contributing factor to people (especially the aged) getting broken hips, knees and other disabling injuries. My poor 87 yo Korean granny broke her hip last year in a fall. I’ve almost come a cropper many times tripping over loose sticking up paving stones myself.

    I’ve never seen so many people in casts and moving about on crutches as I have in Korea. Keep an eye out and you’ll soon see it is very common. I only noticed it last year when I was on crutches and realised that lots of other people were struggling about on them too. They don’t get out much as wobbly, unsteady pavements are no fun at all on crutches and the sidewalks are a huge factor in making you stay inside! For every person on crutches you see struggling on the street there are probably 50 at home saying to themselves ‘fuck it, I can’t be bothered leaving the house’.

    For an allegedly first world nation, Korea is back in the stone age when it comes to providing facilities to the disabled. I think they should invest in better social services and infrastructure to help the disabled rather than encourage people with ‘cripple fetishes’ to get out there an volunteer their services.

  • milton

    This isn’t just Korea — it’s a common feature of developed countries with a hyperactive nanny state.

    And you say that like it’s a bad thing? If government-funded pity sex is one of the perks of living in a nanny state, sign me up!

    I just wonder if the Sexual Security scheme covers gang bangs.

  • http://www.bcarr.com Brendon Carr

    Those of us who are able-bodied should simply be glad that these are not issues which are relevant to our own lives.

  • dokdoforever

    Ha, what an idea – the right to sex. Why stop at the disabled? Foreigners, as a minority group, certainly deserve the attention of more volunteers. There are some volunteers now, but volunteering is such a healthy civic practice, it shouldn’t be discouraged. And, then, of course, why should the wealthy be the only ones exercising their right to sex? Maybe the government will introduce a room salon voucher system, to equalize access to high quality service providers.

  • Robin Hedge

    And then there are the robotic/virtual reality solutions…

  • http://www.bcarr.com Brendon Carr

    Come on, guys — this is something which is so far removed from our own lives that we should be grateful. The program I saw featured a really wretched kid who was outside the realm of normal human experience. Most of us can find sex on our own — the disabled shouldn’t be damned to a life without any human touch. If you really think about their lives, you’d be sympathetic.

    I mean, I’m a conservative guy who opposes most government programs, but this seems to be a little human kindness to the wretched. They normally won’t get any attention at all! When you think about their life, a little pussy once a year for people who can’t otherwise feel the grass between their toes, or experience love and kindness, gosh, it’s something that we should give them. When you consider all the other shit the government will waste our money on, this is so minimal and kind. You and I can find a girl any time we want, but some poor wretch in the wheelchair, gosh, think about it.

    So as for me, I totally approve. There but for the grace of God go I…

    I’m thankful for the prostitutes who offer understanding and kindness to the afflicted, and wish them to be left alone by the overweening state — whether paid or not.

  • seouldout

    My gut tells me, “C’mon! Enough already!”

    Who then determines whether one is sexually undesirable? Is it solely based on physical unattractiveness? How about the social cripples? For instance nitwitizen kim and sidekick pokey. Who’d argue they aren’t repellent enough for a mercy f*ck?

    I think of nitwitizen kim being bamboozled by that witch doctor seductress. Flew him half way ’round the world she did, then she ditched him once they cleared customs. Down to the last 60,000 won in his name, yet till lookin’ for that special someone to share a love connection, he bought Filipinas juicy girl drinks. Ninety seconds later he was destitute; was left stalking coeds on campuses throughout Seoul, wasn’t he? Surely a gov’t voucher would have have not only protected his life savings, it would have saved him from much humiliation. Certainly you’ll agree his physical needs and emotional well being require government assistance, right?

    Nah.

  • http://www.bcarr.com Brendon Carr

    Well, anyway, this is a government program for which I have no objection. Let this be a caution to those who would describe us conservatives as completely heartless to the suffering of the truly afflicted. Some poor bastard in a wheelchair — who thankfully is not me and mine — if the state wants to let him eat a little pussy and get his crank wanked for a few million a year, is not a problem to me — and I would guess most libertarians.

    The libertarian answer is, I believe, let the state leave the hookers alone, and if these disabled guys want to use their small state stipend on this, God bless them. If they’d prioritize pussy against food, well, so be it.

  • CactusMcHarris

    Brendon,

    Despite our differences in politics, I salute you for the compassion shown in your comments – it really does belie the Uncle Brendon you cultivate when writing of our current U.S. President.

  • http://www.bcarr.com Brendon Carr

    What the hell? I support help to the truly wretched, and oppose state support to the able. Get a job, fucker is my solution for everyone, and then we can help those who can’t. I’m really grateful to God for my own blessings, and approve help for those who truly can’t help themselves.

    I simply oppose the Obamunist attitude that everyone is a victim. It cheapens the experience of those who truly are disadvantaged. But those who really got dealt a bum hand in life and live in a broken body, I totally support the obligation of society to give them the minimum support and comfort. Any real conservative will agree.

    And yes, I support paying the wages of professional ladies who will suck the dicks of disabled guys (and gigolos who will give a little tenderness to disabled ladies) who would otherwise never feel a little love and human tenderness. Just as I would support paying taxi drivers who take them around to do their daily errands. The TV shows which show such couples who selflessly care for their disabled partners make me ashamed of my own selfishness.

  • Jieun K

    Last time I checked, nobody had a ‘right’ to get laid

    Wait until the champions of egalitarianism might successfully lobby for amendment of Article 1 of the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights to read as:

    All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights including and up to the right to non-reproductive sex

    Who knows.

  • http://nathanbauman.com/odysseus NathanB

    Bravo, Brendon! Your words are eloquent and to the point.

    Everybody else, you should listen to him. Brendon is entirely correct in everything he says (even what he says about me ;-)).

    Finally, the disabled may not have a “right” to intercourse, but they do have the right to lives of dignity as full human beings. They are not less human just because they are disabled. They deserve our compassion and assistance; after all, “we” might be joining their ranks sooner than we’d like.

  • http://nathanbauman.com/odysseus NathanB

    I’d really die for an edit button here. Anyway, I meant to close the quotation marks after the word “intercourse”–the point being that this might be implicit in their rights to full participation in society. My young son has a project on the go at the moment, and as he is literally in my face, I suppose this is the best I can do!

  • Baek-du boy

    Maybe some people might change their minds after seeing this

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nKmixD9JuE

    How ironic even some dogs are trying get one in, in the back ground. Not so “Cute”?
    I don’t think the man’s mothers ‘frankness’ is helping his self esteem much. this bloke would have a completely different outlook on life if he grew up somewhere else.

  • 8675309

    #20:

    “The TV shows which show such couples who selflessly care for their disabled partners make me ashamed of my own selfishness.”

    On the other hand, I wonder what percentage of these so-called ‘selfless caregivers’ are actually suffering from MSbP. Münchausen syndrome by proxy, particularly as it relates to child abuse, is IMO one of the most insidious forms of child abuse. Indications are as follows:

    “The adult care provider who is abusing the child often seems comfortable and not upset over the child’s hospitalization. While the child is hospitalized, medical professionals need to monitor the caregiver’s visits in order to prevent any attempt to worsen the condition of the child. In addition, in most states, medical professionals have a duty to report such abuse to legal authorities. Warning signs of the disorder include:
    * A child who has one or more medical problems that do not respond to treatment or that follow an unusual course that is persistent, puzzling and unexplained.
    * Physical or laboratory findings that are highly unusual, discrepant with history, or physically or clinically impossible.
    * A parent who appears to be medically knowledgeable and/or fascinated with medical details and hospital gossip, appears to enjoy the hospital environment, and expresses interest in the details of other patients’ problems.
    * A highly attentive parent who is reluctant to leave their child’s side and who themselves seem to require constant attention.
    * A parent who appears to be unusually calm in the face of serious difficulties in their child’s medical course while being highly supportive and encouraging of the physician or one who is angry, devalues staff, and demands further intervention, more procedures, second opinions, and transfers to other, more sophisticated, facilities.
    * The suspected parent may work in the health care field themselves or profess interest in a health-related job.
    * The signs and symptoms of a child’s illness do not occur in the parent’s absence (hospitalization and careful monitoring may be necessary to establish this causal relationship).
    * A family history of similar or unexplained illness or death in a sibling.
    * A parent with symptoms similar to their child’s own medical problems or an illness history that itself is puzzling and unusual.
    * A suspected emotionally distant relationship between parents; the spouse often fails to visit the patient and has little contact with physicians even when the child is hospitalized with serious illness.
    * A parent who reports dramatic, negative events, such as house fires, burglaries, or car accidents, that affect them and their family while their child is undergoing treatment.
    * A parent who seems to have an insatiable need for adulation or who makes self-serving efforts for public acknowledgment of their abilities.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchausen_by_proxy

  • Robin Hedge

    OK Brendon that is very nice, really, but do you then also feel that the society, through the state, should pick up the tab for medical bills as well as bj’s?

  • http://www.bcarr.com Brendon Carr

    For everyone? No.

  • Robin Hedge

    No actually I meant for the same disabled folks. It sounds maybe you do think there should be some safety net for them.

  • hamel

    #24:

    I feel the need to point out that in that clip (my heart goes out to the man) the subtitles have the interviewer saying something like “you had 30 dollars but the whore walked away” – the Korean is actually not 30 dollars but 300,000won, closer to 300 dollars depending on exchange ratew fluctuations. Anyway, point is – the subtitle translator is out by a factor of 10. Makes it seem even more ridiculous. What able bodied man can get a hooker for 30 bucks in Korea these days?

  • WeikuBoy

    Ha! Brendon’s a big ‘ol lib. I KNEW it.
    He was just pimping us all along with all that Palin nonsense.

    OK I didn’t “know” it. But it certainly crossed my mind more than once.
    What a great long con.

  • Hamilton

    A cleverly crafted bill might turn this into a win-win scenario. At the 24 month mark on unemployment benefits (6 months) welfare recipients could be required to “lend a hand” in order to continue pulling in benefits. I suspect this would not only give those in need a little relief but also cut down on those pushing the 99 weeks of benefits.

  • http://nathanbauman.com/odysseus NathanB

    Uh, no–that would be sexual coercion.

  • http://nathanbauman.com/odysseus NathanB

    I’m hoping #31 was a joke, in which case, disregard my previous comment.

  • ephemeral

    I used to work in a home for the disabled, a place where rich people dump their adult children with Down’s, etc. Life expectancy for the many people with disabilities has grown so much in the last 30 years (for Down’s, from early 20s to around 50), these places are getting more and more crowded as aging parents either can’t or won’t continue to care for them. One of our responsibilities was to help residents use things like condoms and birth control, procure pornography(which they paid for themselves), and establish consensual relationships with other residents.

    What the author of this article seems to be deliberately confusing is the difference between a ‘right’ to something as a sense of entitlement and the right to not be denied something based on discriminatory practices. No one has a right to sex, just as no one has a right to a job. A society that fails to protect the sexual rights of the most vulnerable and least able to stand up for themselves (I mean, they usually can’t vote) is a place where eugenics laws tend to have more likelihood of gaining traction. I wouldn’t want anyone making rules about my sexual and reproductive rights, and I doubt anyone else does either.

  • Granfalloon

    WeikuBoy,
    Don’t speak too soon. Bring up having a national health care system that would lead to fewer people being born with crippling disabilities, and he’ll claw your eyes out.

  • yuna

    The real question would be, would minging count as a form of disability?

  • DLBarch

    I knew I’d regret belatedly reading this thread. Nice to see that advocacy of the state-sponsored commodification of women (at taxpayers’ expense, no less) has become socially acceptable within the professional expat community in Seoul. Let me shoot a quick email to Adm. Macke letting him know he was merely 15 years ahead of his time.

    Of course, this also supports my observation that you take a nice, wholesome kid from a good family and the right schools, put him in a place like Seoul, or Bangkok, or Manila for a year or two, and voila, you get behavior that you would NEVER countenance back in the civilized world.

    Or maybe this is just a Navy thing.

    DLB

  • Sonagi

    What Brendon said.

    Dl Barch wrote:

    Nice to see that advocacy of the state-sponsored commodification of women (at taxpayers’ expense, no less) has become socially acceptable within the professional expat community in Seoul.

    If the volunteers are not getting paid, then public costs are minimal. Many of the sex volunteers are men and the beneficiaries disabled women. Friends with benefits is not commodification.

  • Sonagi

    I just reread what Brendon said. Prostitution is one institution that should remain fully privatized with no subsidies, vouchers, or other government financial support.

  • http://www.bcarr.com Brendon Carr

    Well, I guess we disagree. What I’m saying is that there are some unfortunate people whose life circumstances have them leading a life none of us could imagine. The more I am exposed to the real experiences of these folks, the more sympathetic I get.

    So, I approve of “sex volunteers”. I approve of state support to the disabled. I approve of legalization of prostitution. If a disabled guy spends some of his state subsidy on a visit to a legal prostitute, that’s just peachy with me too. If he wants to spend it on cigarettes and booze, that’s his choice too.

    I don’t advocate the state organizing these activities for the disabled, just as I don’t advocate the state organizing activities for the rest of us.

    But I fail to see how it’s “good” for the state to subsidize home health care so that broken citizens can have assistance with basic human functions like bathing and using the toilet, but “bad” for some of that subsidy to be spent on sex.

  • http://nathanbauman.com/odysseus NathanB

    DLB’s comment #36 made me actually read the original post and the article, and scrutinize the comments more carefully. I have to say, this (from comment #6) should be considered the “main thing” here:

    Having exposure to build relationships among the disabled and non disabled and further education is a good starting point. In Korea’s case it’s further education among the non-disabled.

    I’d still second Brendon’s comments in #13 & 16. Furthermore, I’d argue that the disabled are as deserving of participating in sexuality as the able-bodied. I don’t think it’s up to the able-bodied to condemn them for whatever solutions they can work out.

    As for prostitution, which is a separate issue, I feel very strongly that those who coerce others into this should be dealt with strictly; the decision to engage in sexual behavior, for whatever reason, rests with the individual alone. As far as I’m concerned, prostitution ought to be legalized (and taxed and monitored for safety-hazards by the government). The only objections to prostitution traditionally come from religionists and a certain kind of feminist, (not all!) and I don’t think either group should be in the business of legislating morality for everyone.

  • http://www.bcarr.com Brendon Carr

    Of course, this also supports my observation that you take a nice, wholesome kid from a good family and the right schools, put him in a place like Seoul, or Bangkok, or Manila for a year or two, and voila, you get behavior that you would NEVER countenance back in the civilized world.

    The fact that advocacy of the government leaving everyone alone as a baseline, and then extending help to the afflicted, is “behavior…you would NEVER countenance” is worrisome.

    Say, how many years has David Barch spent in Seoul, anyway?

  • http://nathanbauman.com/odysseus NathanB

    Well said, Brendon. As for DLB, one of the bits that confused me was “from the right schools.” What’s that got to do with anything?

    By the way, many years ago I read in a local newspaper that at a government-run mental health hospital not far from where I live, the workers were *required* to assist patients who were also physically-disabled in their sexual relationships with the fellow-disabled. This was rather controversial some years ago, but the controversy seems to have died out.

  • dogbertt

    Nice to see that advocacy of the state-sponsored commodification of women (at taxpayers’ expense, no less) has become socially acceptable within the professional expat community in Seoul.

    So disabled women are excluded from this? Assumed to have no sex drive?

  • dww

    So disabled women are excluded from this? Assumed to have no sex drive?

    Well, I’m assuming it’s MUCH easier to find dudes who’ll bang disabled women than the other way around.

  • seouldout

    I’d like to know the definition of “afflicted” used to determine the beneficiaries. Handsome but blind? Hideously ugly but able bodied? Obese? Would herpes be classified as a disability? How about HIV/AIDS? Erectile disfunction? May a prostitute (or volunteer sex helper) turn down a crippled client or would that be discrimination? Do we cater to all sexual persuasions, proclivities, and perversions? If a one-armed cowboy in Montana fancies an Asian ladyboy, but the closest one is in San Francisco, how do we make that love connection happen? Since travel is required does the traveling party collect accommodation and per diem allowances too? How accommodating must the gov’t be? Could a quadriplegic Klan wizard demand service by whites only? What if he demands to “hate f*ck” a “blacky”?

    Having seen how so many rush to collect benefits originally intended for the very few I know such largesse is subject to abuse. The number of claims and counter claims making their way through the legal system is likely to help a good number of lawyers.

  • http://www.bcarr.com Brendon Carr

    Well, this is the question and the crux of the argument between big-government and small-government adherents.

  • WeikuBoy

    Brendon said: “What I’m saying is that there are some unfortunate people whose life circumstances have them leading a life none of us could imagine. The more I am exposed to the real experiences of these folks, the more sympathetic I get.”

    Confirmation!!! Being able to sympathize with and wanting to do something to help those less fortunate than you is practically the definition of Big ‘ol Lib. Taking it from the pockets of the undeserving super-rich just makes it sweeter.

  • cmm

    WeikuBoy,

    I don’t think you are convincing anyone of Carr’s beliefs.

    And how do you decide which of the super-rich are deserving or not?

  • http://www.bcarr.com Brendon Carr

    Really? Only liberals sympathize with and want to help the less fortunate? What nonsense.

  • seouldout

    Uncle B, I have hay fever. Lemme tell you, blood shot eyes and sneezing are a real turn off. Where can I get my gov’t provided nookie?

    Uncle WB, to cut out the middle man and streamline the whole process would it just be easier for me to directly take it from the pockets of the undeserving super rich? If they’re undeserving it’s not like I’m committing theft. To keep it simple I’m pretty sure I know how I want to spend the money, i.e., I really don’t need the gov’t directing me. BTW, what can I do to ensure that the super rich are always those who make more than I? I really don’t want some fella who earns less than I taking my dosh, which would suck. Have I mentioned I have crippling hay fever?

    If there are any other hand outs and set asides that are taken from the super rich and available to me please let me know. This is so exciting – I’m all tingly inside. Could be from my meds, though.

  • Jieun K

    the definition of “afflicted” used to determine the beneficiaries

    So, we have even gotten to the point of talking about carnal gratification as a welfare benefit. Sure come a long way. Gotta hold the expenses in check, though.

    Where can I get my gov’t provided nookie?

    Not so fast, sir. It’s either that or the food stamps. Think long and hard before you decide. And, even if you stick with your choice, we regret to inform you that there’s a huge backlog on that one. Sorry about that.

  • http://skindleshanks.blogspot.com/ skindleshanks

    Not to pick sides (I’m pretty sure I’m against this, though), but it might be prudent to point out that “sexual surrogates” also practice alongside the more conventional therapists-they even have their own association. (sorry, can’t link from mobile)

  • pawikirogii

    ‘Those of us who are able-bodied should simply be glad that these are not issues which are relevant to our own lives.’

    well said, counselor.