As part of a series on Korea’s multicultural future, the JoongAng examines what might lead single Korean women to — sit down for this, children — seek foreign husbands.
Here’s just a sample:
Koo Hee-ok, a 29-year-old office worker in Sydney, has been in a relationship with the Australian man she met there a year ago, and the couple plans to tie the knot in the next two years.
Born and educated in Seoul, Koo went to the Land Down Under to get her master’s degree in accounting in her late 20s and then got a job at a local firm. She did not consider marriage before meeting the man she now considers her life mate. She had a few Korean boyfriends in her early 20s, and dated some Korean men in Sydney as well. But she could not help feeling repulsed by what she described as their “typical way of thinking.”
“I was upset about Korean men making chauvinistic remarks, that women are supposed to be coy and kind and that it’s even better if [a potential marriage partner] is younger, pretty and knows how to cook,” she said via e-mail. “ I have never heard the foreigners I’ve dated say such things.”
Talk amongst yourselves — I know you want to.
{ 128 comments… read them below or add one }
Well Ms Seo should be getting some interesting reader feed-back.
“Talk amongst yourselves — I know you want to.”
–Robert Koehler
“Well Ms Seo should be getting some interesting reader feed-back.”
–Yu Bum Suk
If only the next 150 comments would be like these two, as in 153 straight comments of: “oh, no, she di’int; the shii’s about to hit the fan; people are going to talk; OMG!; the snot’s about to blow; etc.”
i wonder when the day will come when this sort of story is published in korean, though? or was it originally, and then put into an english story?
i’d also like to see the perspective of the korean girl in korea that dates a foreigner, but i guess this one feels safe in australia from above mentioned, “reader feed-back”.
bit of a twist to the usual fare, thanks, robert!
“what might lead single Korean women to — sit down for this, children — seek foreign husbands”.
Some do, most don’t. I can’t really see what is newsworthy about it as Korean women have been going abroad to marry Koreans and non-Koreans for a time now. As long as she is educated and contributing to the lack of skills in certain parts of the Australian economy (prior to marriage), she’s more than welcome.
Well, at least she is reacting to a gained personal perspective which reminds me of Prof. Lankov’s point – to paraphrase – what if greater opportunities had been offered to travel/education abroad – for the ‘you-know-whom?’!
Sorry, what was Lankov’s point?
Well, it’s one thing that this goes on regularly and it’s another that she actually spoke out about it. Kudos to her, but I’d hate to see what her In box is going to look like after that.
Oh, so we ARE stealing their women… oops. Let’s hope Korean men continue to turn a blind eye and not become like Middle Eastern men!
Actually, the article makes it sound as though they’re ‘stealing our men’ (not that there’s anything wrong with that . . . since I got ‘stolen’).
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
By the way, what makes smart quotes post so stupid? It happened twice in my short comment!
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
Haha I got a thumbs down for not understanding Mazef’s cryptic comment.
Looks like I have an anti-fan!
Damnit Robert, Not all of us white foreign males have been given the blessing yet as obtaining a Joseon goddess like you have man. Some of us are only in our late 20′s/early 30′s who read your blog. Nice cock blocking brah’.,..
Not a bad article, overall. I would have liked a deeper discussion of why so few middle class Korean men are marrying foreigners (I have rarely heard the topic broached intelligently). Also, when she says that four of the the top nine countries of origin for these foreign men are English-speaking, the author is being quite misleading, no? Doesn’t take a genius to see that all the English speakers added together don’t come near the number of Chinese or Japanese husbands. What would be interesting to me would be the breakdown of the primary common language of these Japanese and Chinese marriages.
Acropolis: may I be the first to gently point out that Robert did not marry a bride of Joseon stock, lovely though she is.
Neti Kim and Pawi preemption…
This article just shows Korean women have no respect for themselves. I am so sick of this white night garbage, saving Korean women from k-men. As for the writer, she is the worst kind of traitor – she probably couldn’t find a Korean man herself. Besides, everyone knows foreigners always end up with the K-girls no Korean man wants.
“Looks like I have an anti-fan!”
–hamel
I will pray for your anti-fan death.
Seriously though, I have seen much balance in the field these days (K-men with foreign women). And that is good.
The problem is lads like Neti-Kim and Pawi think its ok for K-men to date outside the race but not for k-women.
Personally, I just could not imagine questioning a stranger’s relationship. I only started taking note of K-men dating foreigners with the ignorant hope that it would mean cooler heads regarding inter-racial dating. Unfortuntely, it has almost been the opposite.
meant: I will pray for anti-fan death…
Clarification. Steamy heads and the appearance of the bird are highly correlated.
Don’t lump Pawii and Netizen Kim together. It’s insulting to Pawii.
Jim_Kim,
In defense of Net Kim and Pawi, I can’t remember (maybe I am wrong) a specific instance where they have said that they object to Korean women marrying foreign men. What they might have said is that they object to the assertion that white men are somehow more suitable partners than Korean guys. I still think that given the lower levels of English in Korea compared to other parts of Asia, as well as relative wealth and a wide range of choices, that Korean women would prefer to marry Korean men. Those who have traveled and/or are not willing to go through the heavy obligations that come with marriage within the culture (i.e. care of and having to endure the in-laws) might see it differently, but what are they giving up in terms of security?
I’m in a mixed marriage (not with a Korean), but we live in her country. Having family around when you have kids is important, but that being said, my wife often says she would prefer to live in Australia, where we met. I choose not to due to a number of factors including high taxes, hatred of the nanny state, better work opportunities here and isolation from other cultures.
Don’t get me wrong — I’m all for international/intercultural marriages. Natural selection is one of the strongest driving forces that influence mate selection and the human instinct to improve the species along Darwininan lines, especially through mate selection based on genetic diversity.
That being said, it is superficial to think that simply based on physical appearances alone, Koreans lack their own genetic and cultural diversity, and that only Caucasians and other non-Koreans hold the key to multiculturalism and diversity in this world.
I would also challenge the superficial beliefs of Miss Koo that there is plenty of multiculturalism and genetic diversity within Korea itself and among the Korean diaspora worldwide, unlike your average Caucasian, who invariably is a product of inbreeding, questionable ancestry, and/or unknown parentage. (Unless they’ve used ancestry.com lately.)
On the other hand, an international marriage is perhaps one of the most convenient and time-worn solutions to avoid having to deal with deep-seated personal problems in your real life. In fact, I recommend international marriages to any young man or woman — Korean or otherwise — who is running away from something, b/c you can literally create — unchallenged mind you — your own family background, personal history, and even c.V.
Because of the fantasy world that is part-and-parcel of many international marriages, the marriage becomes a shell whereby difficult truths related to an expat’s previous life or family background can be easily concealed from prying questions. In the same token, it’s equally easy for a Korean girl to escape any and all traditional family obligations that any filial bride would be customarily required to fulfill towards her in-laws.
An example of how easy it is for expats to create a fantasy world while working and hooking up in Korea, I am reminded of a story my mother told me from her college days in Korea in the early 60′s. One of her female classmates from a well-to-do family got engaged to a U.S. Army officer stationed at Yongsan Garrison who was in the process of PCS’ng back to the States.
This union, of course, pissed the bride’s parents off to no avail, while rousing the envy of all her girlfriends, who all agreed that her fiance was the spitting image of William Holden (I guess he was popular back then).
I don’t know what kind of life she envisioned having as the Korean wife of a U.S. Army officer living on military bases back in the U.S, but she soon found out soon after the honeymoon was over that all his claims about his family owning a lot of land and being well-to-do were bullshit.
She found this out on the day they pulled up to the trailer where his haggard white-trash mother lived — alone and in the middle of the New Mexico desert — where she lived in semi-poverty off of her social security checks. (Not exactly the same scene out of “Heaven & Earth.”)
That being said, I can’t help but feel that a lot of very clever Korean girls — like Ms. Koo and all her scheming Korean girlfriends who snare unsuspecting white boys like Debra Winger and the other townies did in Officer and a Gentleman — are laughing themselves silly to the bank, particularly when they’ve realize how much money they’ve saved by not having to bring a dowry to the marriage or provide any compensation to foreigner in-laws.
(Any Korean girl of any respectable origin who seeks marriage with a Korean guy from an equally respectable background customarily brings a dowry to the marriage that is paid to her in-laws. The amount is negotiable, but a future bride coming empty handed in front of her in-laws is tantamount to an open admission that she is an ill-mannered beggar and gold digger from a low-class background. On the other hand, from a K-girl’s pov, it is somewhat of a coup to be able to snare a know-nothing pussy-whipped naive foreigner, who implicitly believes everything you say, which of course means you won’t have to pay a dowry to any in-laws, thereby tipping the power balance in your favor right off the bat.)
I have no numbers to back up my assertion but i don’t think Koreans overall are particularly attracted to foreigners. Korea now is a major economic player and opened up enormously to the rest of the world, with that inevitably comes the phenomenon of mixed relationships…being relatively new to the game Koreans are still grappling with the phenomenon, but as i said i’m not quite sure
Well, if someone has gotta love the old, obese, unattractive, former Walmart greeters you can’t go too wrong by getting a Korean bird.
I know i shouldn’t say this but i can’t help laughing my ass off reading each seouldout comment…they have on me the same weird attraction a blowtorch has on the average NA dweller
@23
Didn’t get your point. Are you saying that:
1) K-women are all lazy betrayers of the K-race or
2) K-women are just trying to save money (?!) or
3) Non-korean men are stupid for marrying them or
4) K-men just marry the good ones (quiet, subservient, etc., if this is your definition of “good ones”) or
5) all of the above?
The only people against Korean women looking at foreigners for marriage are certain American women, most Korean men, and others whose personalities and so-called “culture” prevent them from having a successful marriage…
The loudest detractors I’ve seen thus far are guys who cannot understand why a combination of androgynous fashion and abusive language and manners don’t combine to make them irresistible to educated Korean women…
For a really intelligent discussion of Korean female/foreign male relationships I recommend asiafinest.com. Hell hath no fury like a gyopo male scorned.
silver surfer: and an american woman left without custody and alimony (especially alimony)
I think he meant F) it’s an ungenerous girl who won’t bring the dowry goat and three chickens to the marriage. No Lucky Goldstar TV for the foreigner con man.
What next? A defense of arranged marriages? Women and glass should stay in the house?
Sadly she didn’t bring any livestock, but my wife does chew with her mouth closed.
What’s the excuse for your gum crackin’ missus?
What caveman would ever use the phrase “our women”
and demand that they only mate with members of their tribe?
It is 2010 isn’t it?
You haven’t been to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia before, have you, exit86?
@27:
Guys, word to the wise — if you are considering marrying a K-girl, and you really want to make sure that her commitment toward marrying you is real — and not just a convenient escape from a fate destined to fulfilling Korean-style duties and obligations, monetary and otherwise, to what would otherwise be demanding Korean in-laws — ask her how much money she would be willing to present as a “gift” to your parents if in fact you were to tie the knot.
@29:
That’s a good one Silversurfer. Actually, the real quote is “…like a woman scorned,” but they probably didn’t teach you that when you were studying for your GED exam, did they?
And if I said it once, I’ll say it again since it’s worth repeating: I am ALL 4 international marriages! They’re plenty of Korean birds out there — many of whom IMO are unfit for human consumption, but as they say, “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure!” (Or what’s good for the goose is good for the gander!)
In fact, case in point, an increasing number of my KA male friends here in the U.S. have taken a “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” philosophy toward dating and marriage outside of the race. (Two of my KA male friends back in Chicago just tied the knot recently — one to a beautiful Mexican-American girl and the other to a Christian Cuban-American girl — and both couldn’t be happier, perhaps b/c they do not have to deal with Korean in-laws™.) And regardless of what anyone says, I truly believe international marriages are becoming the way of the future. (The various motives why people seek marriage partners of certain races, on the other hand, is still open to lively debate and questioning though.)
As a result of my own traveling and meeting people from all over the world, I no longer think that Korean women are really all that much of anything compared to other women I’ve met from other countries, although I can totally understand why many non-Korean guys fall for them as if they’ve never seen a Korean woman before in their life (I felt the same way when I visited Korea for the first time — now I’ve become inured to their childish ways). Anyways, the prototypical baby-talking Korean girl with the borderline or narcissistic personality disorder is a real turn off for me, as I’ve placed more of an emphasis on spirituality, maturity, mental stability and psychological soundness when considering a future dating or marriage partner.
@31:
You guys may laugh at this somewhat antiquated notion of a bride presenting a cash dowry to her prospective in-laws out of custom and good breeding, but remember, the sexual revolution that ‘freed’ Western women from such marital duties and obligations did not hit Asia or the rest of the non-Western world for that matter.
(And I think Western woman are the worse off for it. As a result of being devoid of any real sense of real marital duty, obligation or sacrifice towards anyone other than themselves and their bridal party, American women have turned into the worst kind of spoiled, materialistic brats with the most unrealistic and one-sided attitude toward marriage a’la Say Yes to the Dress.)
And the reality is that dowries have been presented and exchanged between families of all types in all cultures from time immemorial until the Turn of the Century in the U.S., when single women started moving out of their parents’ homes and living on their own in the big cities. That being said, any Korean girl who endeavors to marry a non-Korean, yet feigns ignorance of such, or tries to substitute cheap and gawdy gifts for the in-laws instead of a real dowry, is either playing you for a fool, or looking for a cheap & easy out.
#23 sounds like a Korea Times reporter gone undercover to spew ethnocentric nonsense on these boards.
A “Gold Miss” is defined in Korea as a single woman in her 30s who is well-educated, has a high income and a good job.
Well then. I suppose the Korean girl that I’m seeing is a “Silver Miss”. My Silver Miss is in her 30s, well educated, studying in the US, has no income, and tuition plus living expenses are paid for by Daddy.
As a jaemi-gyopo who worked a full time job working night shift and paid his own way through college, it is astounding what a life of privilege some of these Gold Miss’s have.
But she could not help feeling repulsed by what she described as their “typical way of thinking.”
“I was upset about Korean men making chauvinistic remarks, that women are supposed to be coy and kind and that it’s even better if [a potential marriage partner] is younger, pretty and knows how to cook,” she said via e-mail. “ I have never heard the foreigners I’ve dated say such things.”
The problem is these Gold Miss’s also have a typical way of thinking. For them, a suitable potential mate must be a graduate of a prestigious university and be a doctor, lawyer, or work for a big-name Chaebol. You all know the drill.
I have a KA friend who was dating a Korean woman. He is a quintessential nice guy. But she broke off with him eventually because he was only a schoolteacher and didn’t meet her parents lofty expectations.
Many of these over-educated Gold Miss’s have been casually dismissive of men while they were busy pursuing their studies or career and therefore have a poor understanding of relationships and naive about men in general. Many of these “strong and independent” women may be more aptly described as humorless, inexpressive creatures who do not know how to reciprocate. Sheltered and spoiled, they fear life’s troubles and recoil at the hardships endured by their married friends. Hardship for them is an existence that consists of anything besides sipping expensive coffee at the cafe, shopping, sight-seeing, and whatever else is in their heads from too much exposure to Sex and the City.
#35
In fact, case in point, an increasing number of my KA male friends here in the U.S. have taken a “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” philosophy toward dating and marriage outside of the race. (Two of my KA male friends back in Chicago just tied the knot recently — one to a beautiful Mexican-American girl and the other to a Christian Cuban-American girl — and both couldn’t be happier, perhaps b/c they do not have to deal with Korean in-laws™.)
Many Korean girls get somewhat disturbed and taken aback when they see a Korean guy with a non-Korean female. They are very discreet about it however.
If you are dating a woman who is not Korean, be prepared for everything from the Evil Eye Stare to them asking you questions like: “wouldn’t you much rather prefer a girl who is more traditional, etc?”
OMGWTFBBQ. I think you have to rule out the whole womankind.
These are interracial marriages, not international unions: “KA male friends back in Chicago just tied the knot recently — one to a beautiful Mexican-American girl and the other to a Christian Cuban-American girl..”
Damn !!!! and i thought women looked at me now with much sweeter eyes comparin to when i was a council house rat cos i have aged so gracefully
I look like Nicholas Cage. That’s why they like me.
I thought that place was overrun with angry Chinese (or those pretending to be angry Chinese). I always believed the lads at Korean Sentry were a fine bunch upstanding racists^H^H^H^H^H^Hfellows. They certainly give Dave’s a run for his money in that department, anyway.
Jim_Kim, don’t raise my name in vain and DO NOT presume to speak on my behalf. OK, asshole?
A little something about guys from asiafinest.com. Back in my days when I use to be a moderator at chinahistoryforum.com people who were regular commenters from asiafinest had a, errrr… reputation for being pimply, teen aged, insecure, Asian American boys (not far removed from puberty) who had nothing else better to do then troll 24/7. We didn’t take them seriously and banned them often. It’s like a less racist (with the exception of “racism” towards other East Asians by East Asians), less political Asian American Stormfront. Any ways.
No, I’m just ruling out immature Korean 못말녀 whose inherent foolishness cannot be overridden no matter how many expensive degrees and certificates they acquire. Here are some typical examples of typical Korean female foolishness that you will not find among similarly situated or educated Western women:
1) Cervical cancer is one of the top three killers of South Korean women. Cervical cancer is no longer a top-ten killer of American women b/c of education, preventive health care, and the practice of safe sex.
2) The Pill is the preferred form of birth control in the U.S. and other western countries. Getting an abortion is the preferred form of birth control in South Korea, and many young South Korean women think nothing of having dozens and dozens of abortions over and over again, albeit to their own detriment and endangerment.
3) In the West, women use fashion as a way of expressing their individuality, i.e., a way of setting themselves apart from the mainstream and commercialized name-brand dominated mass market. In Korea, women use fashion in exactly the opposite way — specifically, Korean women “follow fashions” prodigiously in order to conform to a set style, brand name, or image that they feel they belong to.
4) In the rest of the world, college-educated and professionally employed women keep up with current events and important issues via newspapers, magazines, professional journals, books, etc. In Korea, similarly situated women rarely read such ‘ajosshi’ material, and instead indulge in a fantasy world of fashion magazines, soap operas, k-pop, anime characters, Hello Kitty™ paraphernalia and other childish nonsense regardless of their age or profession.
5) It’s a well known fact that Korean women have been going on a “baby strike” that now has earned Korea the ignominious honor of having the lowest birthrate in the OECD in order to protest the Korean patriarchy and Korean mens’ refusal to do the dishes or help out at home. Meanwhile, the majority of the world’s men do not do the dishes at home regularly or help their spouses with the housework albeit with no consequences on their respective nation’s birth rate.
@38:
Taken aback is putting it mildly. Discreet? Not always. Can you say “daggers sticking out of their eyes?” Case in point: I once showed up to the local KA Christmas Banquet back when I lived in Chicago with a vivacious blonde co-worker of mine, who had mentioned several times in the course of working with her that she loved Korean food. So I said “what the hey,” and invited her.
So here we are, at a semi-formal event in a nice hotel in Chicago seated at a table where all the couples were Korean, except us of course. No matter though, everybody was nice to us, i.e., everyone, except a certain unaccompanied KA girl I knew and had previously been friendly with named Ms. Kang, who felt the need to shoot me daggers all night long as well as the most evil look I have ever seen on a human being. Suffice it to say, Ms. Kang never did deign to engage me in civil conversation thereafter. Apparently, she wasn’t going to let me forget my “betrayal.”
@40:
Picky, picky, picky. If you wanna be that way, fine. On the other hand, if a KA guy married a Korean national, technically that is an “international” or intercultural marriage as well.
On the other hand, I don’t think that’s the type of relationships they were talking about in the above-referenced article. The 양공주 described in the JoongAng article who hooked up with an Aussie was definitely NOT talking about some Korean Australian she happened to meet while working down under. No, the “international” and “intercultural” relationship she was talking about is synonymous with interracial.
#37:
Of course, this all an expression of her narcissistic delusions of grandeur.
Recommendation: Preempt a greedy girlfriend’s prenuptial negotiations by telling her straight off how much dowry you think a suitable wife must bring in. If she falls short of agreeing to your dollar amount, ignominiously get rid of her. She needs to be taught that she can’t have her cake and eat it too and that the knife cuts both ways.
Articles such as this inform the world that South Korean women, despite all their education and travel overseas and what not, still maintain a Third World mentality.
Third World women seek foreign men as a meal-ticket out of undesirable situations at home, whether it be poverty or oppressive cultural traditions. Educated women of developed nations, on the other hand, do not indulge in escapist fantasies but work hard for reform, to make society better for themselves and progeny.
South Korean women, despite all their education and knowledge, generally lack the intellectual wherewithal and moral fortitude to agitate for reform.
I’ll say this about Korean girls I’ve seen. They’re-
… What am I, an idiot? I’m not touching this with a 20 ft pole.
Obviously the article crushed these Korean guys manhood. I can see why the well educated Korean women seeking their romantic relationship somewhere else. It’s funny how these idiots implicitly depicts of themselves superior to their female counterparts in their country. Are they that upset enough to belittle these women. These idiots must have had many rejections by these so called “well educated Korean women.” I like to hear what those Korean women have to say in their defense. After all these idiots described those girls as if they are nothing but self centered and spoiled brats.
Certain American women? Not Brits, Aussies, Canadians, or other Western women? I think you’ve misstated the gender gap. Western women don’t go to Korea to find mates of any nationality, so we don’t care if Korean women specifically seek foreign husbands. What is true is that foreign men have more choices than foreign women owing to many reasons.
In some countries it is not legally or socially feasible for women to organize to improve their status. In China, for example, unapproved public demonstrations are forbidden although they do occur. Civic groups must register with the government, which becomes very suspicious anytime people try to organize to do something other than run a business and make money.
Not technically. Not only legal but cultural identities are different. If one is raised by very traditional Korean parents in a large immigrant community, one’s identity, beliefs, and behaviors will be different from someone who has had the full Korean experience growing up as a Korean in Korea. I recall KA commenters noting that Korean nationals and Korean-Americans tend to segregate into different college organizations, a reflection of two distinct identities.
#35
Yes this is true in general. He’s not making it up. It’s called 예단.
Except in my mother’s case, she was a real breath of fresh air because she told her mother-in-law-to-be who was just telling her how many cousins and uncles there were (for the gifts) to her face,
“Uhmuhni, I’m really sorry to interrupt, but I am sorry I will not be able to bring any gifts. I am grateful to my mother for raising me and I think me myself is enough contribution in this marriage, I cannot ask my parents to contribute.”
to which my shocked grandma said,
“Oh, I’m happy your mum raised you so well! (sarcasm on)” and stormed out of the room.
It was unheard of those days.
Now my mum has become the mother in law, she told my sister-in-law before the marriage that she doesn’t want any gifts whatsoever. And so no gifts were exchanged.
However, conveniently forgetting this detail in that while a few silver spoons and cartier watches are expected from the bride’s side, traditionally Koreans think that the groom or the groom’s family must provide the house, by that I don’t mean a rented house but the whole house (or apartments in most cases)
#45
I think you are talking about the kind of girls specifically who think that they are God’s gift to men. There are plenty of women in Korea who think differently, though they are not the same sort out to ensnare Kyopo males, or foreign males. One manifestation of this is the acceptance/increase of older women-younger male couples in Korea. 생활력 in a woman, with a steady job and income has become one of the most sought-after qualities when Korean males look for their partners. That’s why the no.1 sought after bride is a school teacher (hear that, Sonagi?)
I’m sure as you will agree the women you are talking about are not confined to Korea, I guess in the US the term is “To become a Soccer mom”, you know, or those women that Investment Bankers speed date in bars who ask you questions like “How much is your annual income” or “What are your aspirations/projections in 5 years time”
While these are very very disturbing-sounding questions, on the other hand, they are probably what Germaine Greers think about too, but are too politically correctly raised to ask.
I was just thinking – you know the only thing Dubya had going for himself? He didn’t cheat, or he wasn’t found to have cheated on his wife.
Now, having a grown up independent the most unKorean wife like Hilary Clinton, or even Michelle Obama, why do men still go and cheat (that is if it’s found to be true)
I watched a really silly documentary/TV program a few years back on one of those awful channels (E! Entertainment) about Lisa Loeb the singer looking for a husband. Though it was terrible, I did like her songs at one point, so I watched it. Now she is not an airhead in my opinion. The impression I got, however, was no matter how successful in her career and how independent a woman is, if she hasn’t found and isn’t loved by that someone she can hold dear, and can respect, she is not fulfilled.
While those awful women I mentioned above are probably not going about the right way, trying to ensnare or interview their way into someone’s heart, I think one cannot disparage women for prioritizing ensnaring or trapping or loving or getting jiggy with the man they love as the most important thing in their life.
I linked to the wrong link above, that link above shows what’s usually expected as gifts from brides. I meant to link it to this recent article which shows that men are expected to provide the house.
There are only two necessary ingredients to guarantee a successful/manageable relationship/marriage: you need two emotionally mature people who make the effort to hone their interpersonal skills. The success of a relationship involving all other combinations of people are a crapshoot–it may work, it may not.
“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
–Tolstoy
“guarantee”
haha. Sorry. Meant “most likely result in.” Nothing is guaranteed in relationships.
i’m sorry that i’m being dragged into to this thread but since i have been dragged, let me give my opinion. if the korean man is pissed off that the korean woman dreams of getting herself a white guy, he only has himself to blame; that’s what you get when you develop a culture of prostitution.
lastly, i understand there are some here who think my presence at the marmot’s hole is predicated on the idea of ‘you-take-my-women’.
if that’s what some of you need to think to pump up your ego, more power to ya.
Note to Miss Koo– Hubby-to-be ain’t gonna appreciate being referred to as “foreigner” in his own country.
Well.. I guess I am getting marked as a troll because my previous comments, that Korean girls like me because I look like Nicholas Cage, haven’t been approved.
Almost all of my girlfriends were Korean, and I married/divorced one, and I lived in Korea, allow me to interject, since I am, by default an expert on this subject:
This article is about how Korean girls like foreign guys because they’re fun/new/different/novel. It’s much like Korean girls interested in drinking cappuccinos or going to Krispy Kreme because it’s the new “thing”/trend. It’s a Cosmo article, nothing more.
Being a white guy in an Asian country afford many advantages to meeting women, the most of which is because you are white. It’s the same as American women falling for an average fellow just because he has a British accent. Many of them end up being marriages by default, but mostly Korean women are not looking to marry foreigners… only try them on for size [sorry]. It’s hardly material worthy of a Ph.D dissertation on race relations.
Typical way of thinking of this woman, typical way of thinking of writer, and typical way of thinking of the desk publishing this typical description of Korean male. And she is in her late 20′s?cmon. Where did she get her degree in Korea? Sounds like she only dated Typical adjossi. Anyway, I hope she, if she is a real person, found her typical way of true love and live happily ever after.
57,
We call it “getting your bit of rough”. Girls often do it to check out something new and seemingly dangerous, while shocking their family at the same time. My sister came home with a guy who was into big motorbikes and had tattoos from his knees to his elbows and you can imagine the reaction of my father.
What are you trying to say with this?
that’s all i’m going to say about this issue because i don’t care.
Pawi, if what you say is true, your opinion must have drastically changed. You need to reread your last 600 comments on this issue.
And, ‘dragged in’? Your funny. This coming from the guy who posts 1000 of comments on this issue. ‘Dragged in’ you are indeed a funny one.
Neti Kim – Yes, I shall not take the lord Kim’s name in vain. BTW-there were no quotes in my comment.
yawn.
What about the Third World men? They must wait for “their” women to reform them and are incapable of change themselves?
I’m stealing this for my .sig
what does ‘.sig’ mean?
@66 – Signature file
It would interesting to check out the divorce rate in Korean/foreigner marriages. I’d be curious to see if they significantly diverge from the general trend for the countries involved and if there are significant differences between the various nationalities Koreans marry
Gangpeh! Scarcely married, but already thinking about divorce!
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
ROFFFLLLLL ! Actually i wrote it cos it came up to my mind i read somewhere (wikipedia ?) that white man/Asian woman marriages suffer from a very high rate of divorce, something around 70% if i remember correctly. I was wondering if it is true and if conversely marriages between spouses of different Asian nationalities are more succesful.
I think a key element to make a international relationship work is trying to understand as much as possible the culture of your partner without ending up fetishizing it
Well considering the fact that married men in the US cheat on their wives at some point in their lives at a health 60% clip, on top of cultural barrier difficulties, I’d say chances are divorce rates won’t be significantly lower. But I also wouldn’t be surprised if they are though.
given the presumptively high % of such marriages that involve a military husband, the dispositive factor(s) are most likely to be culture and class related rather than one of simple ethnicity
If the majority of miguk/hanguk marriages are GIs marrying girls from the ‘ville, one can put the divorce rate down to immaturity and lack of familial or spiritual guidance…
Cross-cultural marriages do require more work; and some folks just get married for the wrong reasons…
However, there are many “mixed” marriages that are very happy and successful. So I think that judging them in groups is just as bigoted as saying “all Koreans are ___”, “all Americans are ___”, “all Buddhists/Christians/Jews/Muslims are ____”, “all Whites/Blacks/Browns/Reds are ____”, etc., ad nauseum…
Each person is a very complex mix of culture and personality. We are we are each bound in a limited way to the way we were raised and to a much larger degree to the choices we make.
And if you disagree, please provide evidence that all of your chosen group act, believe, etc. the same way… We all see what we see; but we’re too close to “the problem” to know whether the “patterns” we see are the rule or the exception–or part of something much larger.
Tis a fine line to walk there mister!..
The wikipedia article on interracial marriage doesn’t have any numbers for interracial divorce rates. However, they do cite this article;
“But Will It Last?”: Marital Instability among Interracial and Same-Race Couples
http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/cgi-bin/fulltext/119400377/PDFSTART?CRETRY=1&SRETRY=0
The full model on Table 4 is what you are looking for. The rightmost column lists the odds of a marriage surviving to 10 years for various interracial couples. For white/white the odds of divorce by 10 years are 0.95:1 (48.7%) for white male/Asian female 1.04:1 (50.9%) and for Asian male/white female 1.6:1 (61.5%). Black husband/white wife is the most ill-fated paring at 2.08:1 (67.5%).
And why not a fetish? As my college fencing coach once told me, fencing is a sport for those who like to poke, or like to be poked, or both. If the guy has fantasies about exotic, slant-eyed oriental women desperate to be rescued, and the girl has fantasies about being sweept off her feet by a dashing foreigner and live happily ever after in a white castle, more power to them. Attraction and chemistry isn’t logical, so if the guy turns her on, good for her.
IMO the number of marriage-age western men in Asian countries number far less than local demand for western men. Thus even losers from abroad can refresh their self confidence and get dates (see Charisma Man comics). The only real losers are the larger number of local women chasing after a small and limited pool of western men. If they could move to a western country, their selection would be far better.
For young and attractive women in North America, I tell them to consider places like Italy, where the men are far better looking. For guys who can’t get a date in the US, I tell them to go to the Philippines.
Why isn’t the comment I worked on so hard not showing up? ;_;
It’s in the spam cache. Email Rob. He’ll rescue the comment.
There is some wisdom and some utter stupidity in the comments on this page. I think the biggest stupidity is falling into the puerile and shallow generalisations that some people are too often guilty of expressing on this topic.
Most Koreans I’ve interacted with have absolutely no problem that I married a Korean woman. She is not of the whiny princess variety. That ‘Oppa!’ shit that some Korean women are guilty off is a huge turn off and I would never have considered marrying her if she was like that. My girl is a mature, self confident, smart, gorgeous. She comes from a succesful, though not spectacularly rich family. Some of the older relatives were a bit sceptical about me, but my FIL does not give a fuck about what they think! He is the ‘top dog’ in the family.
The wedding-setting up house-honeymoon costs were basically spit three ways between my parents, her parents and myself. Neither of our families are rich or poor, both are comfortably middle class.
Generalising about relationships is silly, every couple is unique. I know plenty of very successful intercultural-interracial marriages that are very good for all concerned. The only problems we’ve encountered have been from drunken middle aged Korean men and a few subtle hints of jealousy from some younger Korean males (my wife is pretty good looking!)
With the high rate of divorce in Korea I certainly don’t think that interracial marriages are any more unstable than same race marriages are. I know both male and female westerners (as well as Indian, Pakistani, Iranian, Russian) who are in happy healthy relationships.
Making blanket statements about people’s marriages is very ignorant.
And why not a fetish? As my college fencing coach once told me, fencing is a sport for those who like to poke, or like to be poked, or both. If the guy has fantasies about exotic, slant-eyed oriental women desperate to be rescued, and the girl has fantasies about being sweept off her feet by a dashing foreigner and live happily ever after in a white castle, more power to them. Attraction and chemistry isn’t logical, so if the guy turns her on, good for her.
Wow. This guy completely lacks any sense in political correctness.
First of all, I don’t think anyone should get married purely for sexual fetish. Human relationship is more than just a physical gratification. Sure, it may form basis for casual sexual encounters. But, marriage based on solely on various “fetishes” that exist such as necrophilia, pedophilia, et al. doesn’t seem like a such good idea. Frankly, it’s pathological and will likely lead to dissolution of marriage very fast. Secondly, calling Asian women “slant-eyed oriental women desperate to be rescued” seem pejorative to say the least. And what do these women need “rescued” from? A home they grew up their entire life and family that raised her? Only to be stuck in “white castle” of language and cultural barriers and asymmetric dependence on their husband? By in large, the so-called “attraction” in Philippines results from disparity in income levels and those of foreigners with the deeper pockets. In addition, citing a comic book to support your asserting does not bring any more credibility. (See Simpsons Season 2 Ep. 5; Family Guy Season 4 Ep. 4; contra, Power Puff Girls Season 1 Ep. 5; But see, Dexter’s Laboratory Season 2 Ep. 4). I hope you cite check my assertions by going through those very credible sources “adeptitus.” Seriously, wow… what a d-bag.
Also, your attempt at anecdote is a huge failure.
I liked this one so much I made a lesson plan out of it for my Korean co-workers: Check it out here.
http://filearchive.eslville.com/modules.php?name=Downloads&d_op=NewDownloadsDate&selectdate=1273123475
It’s called Discussion about Korean Culture – Intercultural Marriage New Today
Description: Using an article from a Korean newspaper, students will read and then discuss questions (as they go along) about intercultural marriage in Korea. Works well with a small class (maybe a Teacher’s class).
This lesson was designed to be used with Korean teachers.
Politically correct is for residence hall assistants and for HR people.
I like the fencing analogy. Didn’t match exactly but funny.
I think this is another interesting theme, can marriages among people with strong disparities in wealth work ?
I have a friend i met during my brief stint in college who married a Philipina. She is, technically speaking, smoking hot, she’s also very educated and overall a good person, he is a good guy too but he looks and acts like a royal dork, his main interest being soccer and not much else.
Sure he’s not rich but he’s immensely more privileged than her: he owns an apartment with no mortgage (courtesy of his parents) filled up with all the trinkets of modern life, drives a Civic and take home (working like a beast saturdays and sundays too) around 40k $$, which is above the average Italian office fodder, while she grew up in a village in a house without running water.
To cut a long story short she’s totally depressed after years living here and she wanna go back home while he doesn’t feel too enthusiastic, to put it mildly, about raising their child in the rural Philippines. Just an anedocte but i thought it was interesting
yummm! When is Korea gonna get some White Castle™?
Harold: “I want that.”
Kumar: “What? A Hot Dog Heaven super chili cheese dog?”
Harold: “No. I want that feeling. The feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling!”
Kumar: “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Harold: “We gotta go to White Castle™.”
Kumar: “YES! YES! I knew you had it in you dude!”
Later, at the drive-thru window…
Burger-Shack Employee: “Ding-dong! May I interject for a second? As a Burger-Shack employee for the past three years, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that if you’re craving White Castle™, the burgers here just don’t cut it. In fact, just thinking about those tender little White Castle™ burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one… just makes me want to burn this motherfucker down.
[As he cowers from the pounding voices inside in his head.]
“Come on, Pookie, let’s burn this motherfucker down! Come on, Pookie! Let’s burn it, Pookie! Let’s burn this motherfucker down! Let’s burn it down! Let’s burn it!
[As he trips and falls still fighting the imaginary voices in his head.]
“Umm, so you guys maybe should just suck it up and go to White Castle™.”
Kumar: [As he looks over at Harold in the passenger seat consolingly] “You can always get your work done in the car.”
Harold: “Let’s do it!”
Kumar: “All right. Awesome. Then listen, listen – no matter what, we are not ending this night without White Castle™ in our stomachs. Agreed?”
Harold: “Agreed!” [as they shake hands and bump fists.]
Burger-Shack Employee: [Still at the window] “Wise choice. You guys might have wanted to stay away from our special sauce tonight. Me and Pookie, we added a secret ingredient. I’ll give you a hint. It’s semen.
[bursts out laughing.]
Harold: [Smirks skeptically] Semen??!!
Burger-Shack Employee: [Confidently] Animal semen.
[Harold and Kumar look at each other, scream in horror and peel out of the drive-thru as fast as possible.]
I doubt she’s depressed. The bitch is obviously whining b/c she’s on the rag — women get nostalgic and moody during that time of the month. If I were him, I’d up her Prozac™ dosage, give her a few advil and tell her to STFU and “simmer down, na!” (Every third-world woman needs the strong guiding hand of a first-world man, as we all know that the most ideal marriages are when men marry down and women marry up. (To think the inverse is ridiculous, and anyone who would “is on kibbles-and- bits™, as my Drill Sergeant at Benning always used to say.)
Oh yes sure especially when you divorce and it’s time to split the assets in court
#82
Political correctness is a common sense. Sure, it’s hilarious to watch the antics of Michael Scott in The Office, but do you like when people you don’t know at your work refers to you as “slant-eyed oriental” man? Political correctness forms a baseline for people to discuss inter-ethnic/racial issues without devolving into racial stereotype or ad hominem attacks that can detract us from the real issue. There is a reason why things you ridicule such as HR exists. EEO Commission mandates such intra-institutional dispute resolution process to give a voice to minorities and provide internal monitoring mechanism to see if any systemic racial/gender/sex/persons with a disability issues are within a given private/public entity. You as a minority man benefit from such mechanism if you reside w/n the West as your name suggest. So, try not to piss in the well you drink from.
#83
Yes, I’ve heard similar stories before. To those women in South East Asia, rural South Korean men are wealthy, so there is a rising level of inter-ethnic/racial marriages in South Korea right now. But, once these women get to South Korea, they realize that their husbands are not exactly wealthy in Korean standards. Sure, their life is better in comparison to how they fared in their home country, but their life in a new place is not exactly the way they had envisioned it to be, because people tend to compare their social standing with others immediately around them. Wealth is relative. In a sense, they are facing the same problems they wanted to run away from and that’s when their fantasy breaks apart. It’s fine if the marriage is based on more than just a wealth, but unfortunately that’s not the case with some of these inter-racial/ethnic marriages.
Many of my friends, including myself, have married/engaged outside their race/ethnicity. I’m perfectly fine with it. But, I am, however, wary of those shot gun marriages b/w inter-racial/ethnic couples who can’t even communicate properly with each other.
#85
I don’t think drugging your wife with prozac and telling her to STFU will get you very far in marriage when your wife is suffering from culture shock and adjusting to her life in a foreign world as a transplant. In addition, I don’t think you should impose your military experience to your marriage and treat your wife as if she’s some recruit while you are a drill sergeant. Plus, if you are fine with some dirty old man marrying a trophy wife that’s about the age of his daughter or grand daughter, why shouldn’t the reverse be okay? Like a wealthy cougar marrying a good-looking boy toy? Because men should be the only provider? I thought we have moved away from this misogynistic and paternalistic world view in the West?
You don’t think that Asian wife came with her fair share of secret bank accounts secrets and hidden assets when you married her? What’s good for the goose is good for the gander I say, which is why every guy contemplating marriage ought to have: 1) An ironclad watertight Prenuptial Agreement signed, sealed and delivered before any proposal is made; 2) As many Swiss and off-shore bank accounts — preferably in the Caymen Islands — that your wife hopefully will never know about. Any man who fails to have an active asset protection plan in place for every marital contingency possible is a pussy whipped cuckolded idiot IMO.
Did I say that? No, I said, “up the dosage” on her existing prescription.
I never said that men should be the only provider. Of course there is nothing wrong with married women having a career — both before and after she has children. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, somebody has to wear the pants in the marriage, and the unfortunate reality of today is that there are so many pussy whipped and ineffectual males who have effectively foresaken and abdicated from their god-given roles as providers, husbands and fathers, in lieu of playing second fiddle to their wife. And then we wonder why is the family declining in the West, and why is there a rampant divorce rate in the U.S. and now in Korea.
Part of the reason is b/c men have become too weak and are letting their wives run roughshod over them. That said, there’s nothing more annoying than a woman who cannot STFU and a husband wh0 doesn’t know how to stand up for himself and his family.
Am I a misogynist? No, I just believe that a man should be a man, a leader, and someone who can take charge and responsibility for his family. A “man” who gives up his god-given role and lets his wife run the show is not a man in my book.
To all you ultra conservative Korean men out there…
Better watch out. Learn how to change or all your womens won’t be your womens anymorez.
Unless your rich…in which case they’ll ignore all your shortcomings anyway.
89 Hey Keius, Lots of K-women love conservative/traditional men. It’s one reason why loads of K-women won’t even look at a foreigner.
@89:
Spare me your hypocrisy keius. At the end of the day, guys will be guyz — some sooner, rather than later — so stop acting as if you’re all that. That said, this “your women” and my women stuff is so bourgeois and tiresome. We are NOT in high school anymore where the Bloods and Crypts knocking themselves out over a bunch of hoes. (Once you get out of the ‘hood, and have seen the world, you’ll realize that there are plenty of fish in the sea, so help yourselves to the chum — there’s plenty of it.)
And if there are some hard truths and other lessons that have already been established in this thread, they are as follows:
1) One man’s trash is another man’s treasure (so go ahead, knock yourself out, you are welcomed to the leftovers. There’s also something called chum factor where the ratio of chum to a prize catch is something like 100:1. And yes, sharks — just like gangstas — will literally tear each other guts apart in the feeding frenzy caused by chum, or hoes; however, real fishermen forego the hoes to go after prize catches.);
2) K-girls — many of whom have Rapunzel™ Syndrome, i..e, they grew up extremely underprivileged, isolated and sheltered from the rest of the non-Korean world — can and do act like little girls in a candy shop when they do get the opportunity to sample a multi-colored spectrum of lollipops for the first time. As a result, they literally want to try every flavor of the field and color of the rainbow if for no other reason than just the novelty factor. (Unfortunately, when Rapunzel Syndrome™ girl meets Asian Fetish™ guy, it’s like two adrenalin junkies meeting for the first time at an Extreme™ sports convention. The chemicals do wear off gentleman, and if there’s nothing there, there’s literally nothing there.)
3) K-girls™ are extremely psychologically needy, excessively materialistic and high maintenance overall. Even the ugly ones have an absurd princess-complex and ridiculous sense of entitlement causing many to act like Leona Helmsley. At the end of the day, they can literally suck the life out of you. Caveat emptor my friends, caveat emptor.
4) Because Korean women don’t have frank talks with their mothers about sex, they never learned — or even have any idea — about the importance of getting annual Pap Smears™ or visiting the gynecologist where truthfully disclosing sexual histories is de rigueur.
As a result, many sexually active K-women are literally pus-filled, genital-wart-ridden, malignant-tumor plagued cancer time bombs waiting to go off. (No surprise, really, as Cervical Cancer is still a top killer of Korean women these days, while it pretty much has been consigned to a non-issue and manageable condition with American women.)
That said, I can’t tell you how many Army friends I’ve had when I was in who married juicy girls™ — and even respectable K-girls who f***ed around a lot before they got married — who then tried to have a respectable life in the states after they got married, albeit sans regular annual gynecological exams for their K-lady.
Then one day– the K-wife, always still in her 20′s or 30′s — topples over stone cold dead one day at home or on the street with no warning. Usual cause? Cervical cancer — as the walking-and-talking time bomb never had a pap smear in her life.
(The average college-educated Korean women doesn’t even know what a pap smear is and usually do not visit gynecologists annually — unless they’re about to have a baby.)
So what you are saying 8675309 is that you are not against K-girls marrying foreign men…
However K girls that marry foreign men are in it for the money and are wart ridden whores…
In addition foreign men are inbreeds from a “questionable background?” and K men are genetically diverse?
I am 25% italian, 25% Celtic and 50% Caledonian. I can trace my roots back to when the Romans occupied what is now the southern UK…
To say K men are genetically diverse is a condradiction in terms.
I’m no Brad Pitt but I am content with what I am. I suggest you do the same.
Cayman…Switzerland ain’t no safe anymore after the UBS fiasco
I divorced a third world woman (toroughbred white trash Americana), unfortunately i did it in my native place: no prenup allowed here and 65% of separation/divorce judges are females: they have more power than a tax inspector, they look at you straight in the face and if they think you can pay, they make you pay, they don’t even look at your income statements, we all cheat on taxes here anyway.
I spent more on lawyers than i did if i had settled with her but eventually i didn’t pay anything, principles are principles.
Moral of the story ? Don’t marry poor NEVER EVER, especially if you grew up poor and through dealing and wheeling found a nice spot for yourself in life… money breed money, lice breed lice
Wow! I am absolutely astounded at how little many people on this thread–esp. 867.. know about women in general, as well as women in South Korea today.
Absolutely astounded. 867 . . seems to have a lot of personal issues with SK ladies, making him sound like a horrible specimen of human being.
Several of the ethnic SK’s here also really seem to harbor the hatred/resentment for SK women which the original article spoke of.
Wow! There are some really ignorant opinions on this thread.
Absolutely astounded.
Accidental irony award nominee: “We are NOT in high school anymore …”
“K-girls™ are extremely psychologically needy, excessively materialistic and high maintenance overall. At the end of the day, they can literally suck the life out of you.”
Literally? And yet, you say that like it’s a BAD thing.
Says who? Ancestry.com? LOL!! The fact is, you probably have no idea who your ancestors or what your origins are probably beyond your great-grandparents. Everything else is just family lore and legend based on oral tradition, which changes every time based on how toasted the storyteller is.
You’re really a descendant of the ancient Romans? LOL!! In other words, you’re just another typical anglo-American mix with purely fanciful ideas of who you wish your ancestors were, all the while ignoring the reality of who your real kin probably are — the generations of nameless hordes of kissing cousins who for the first several hundred years of America’s history, never wandered more than a few clicks from their original homesteads in Appalachia or the Ozarks, for example, therefore, (now use a southern drawl straight out of “Deliverance”), can’t rightly remember whereabouts when their forefathers came from Ireland or Europe or wherever, b/c they couldn’t read or write to begin with. Yee haw!
On the other hand, our family 족보 (jokbo) on both sides of the family can trace our lineage and clan affiliation for the past 700 years or so. Not only does it attest to the fact that our branch has had no intra-clan marriages — which were forbidden anyway under the laws of pre-modern Korea, during the Japanese occupation, and after the Korean war up till about around 1994 — but it shows who my ancestors were by name, birth date, clan affiliation, as well as the date of his marriage, wife’s name, number and names of children, etc., going all the back to about the 14th century.
That said, I would challenge that your lineage, while naturally different from mine, is no more — and perhaps less genetically diverse — than mine.
The only difference is that I have the documentation to prove it in both Hanja and Hangeul, whereas you probably are relying on some hand-me-down oral tradition family lore or ancestry. com. — which incidently only goes back to the 18th or 19th century at the latest.
And as the eldest son of an eldest son, I’ll continue that tradition of maintaining our diverse lineage, while you have a higher than average chance of marrying an unknown sister or long-lost cousin.
Oh gawd, I feel for you dude. I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy. Most of the southern women where I live are usually meth-freaks, coke whores, or bottom feeders. Can see them coming a mile away with their peroxide platinum blonde hair, facial features of an iguana, and the teeth of a typical crystal-meth user would make Jaws — of James Bond fame — the poster boy of the American Dental Assoc.
Couldn’t have said it better. That said, I’m not saying that all K-women are that way, just caveat emptor to those who decide to take the plunge interracially.
If I decided to tie the knot with a K-woman, I’d be all over her with a fine tooth comb, not only with an ironclad prenup and a recent credit report, but she would need to have a clean bill of health from a gynecologist indicating she’s STD and wart-free.
That’s just common sense, isn’t it?
And I’d also never marry a girl who has chronic yeast infections either. (That just shows she doesn’t know how to take care of herself.)
It took longer than I expected, but this thread finally managed to live down to expectations.
There’s an ajossi from hell in the making here: simultaneously sophomoric and patronizing and entirely lacking self awareness.
@98
You just took words out of my mouth…. I couldn’t agree with you more!
@8675309
You are truly most outrageous hypocrite and narcissist. Maybe you ought to take a good look at your inner self to find out your sore problem. I have never heard of any Korean actually carry their 족보 (jokbo) from 14th century. Are you kidding me? LOL!!!!
Why Asian women don’t want Asian men: dominant, mudane, predictable, boring, size 4 shoes, mama’s boy.
Why Asian women want white men: tall, handsome, body hair, blond hair, blue eyes, exciting, size 6 shoes, make good-looking “white” babies, status, and don’t have to live with in-law’s.
Why white men want Asian women: Asian doll, submissive, exotic, mysterious, sultry, tight, Lucy Liu fetish.
What Angry Asian men are really like: sexually frustrated chumps reduced to flaming on the internet.
What Asian women are really like: A is for Aramai, B is for Burberry, C is for Chanel, D is for Dior…
What White men overseas are really like (excluding military): poor English teachers who couldn’t get a hot GF back home. They get to feel tall and big overseas for a dose of self-confidence.
==========
If you think the comments above are politically incorrect, consider the elements of truth that they’re based on. This post is not intended to be a troll, just “the ugly “. Quoting Three Dog from Fallout 3, “bringing you the news no matter how bad it hurts”.
Couples hook up because they’re sexually attracted to each other. Married couples stay married because they think they got a “good deal”. Those who feel that they got a bum deal will either be unhappy or get a divorce.
If you’re lucky the koreancupid adsense has been replaced by one for chinalove.com. “Looking for a beautiful Asian bride?” Check out the foreigner guy gropin’ the bird. The foreigner cartoon guy – he’s alive! Pasty skin, pudgy arms, and a sense of entitlement all wrapped up in a fabulous brown shirt. He’s gonna stick it in her butt, ain’t he?
BTW, anyone know where I can get some sansabelt jeans like Larry King wears? Respek.
That was hilarious seouldout.
Hard to believe this character sprung from the loins of a K-woman.
On the other hand, maybe it isn’t so hard to believe after all.
@8675309
Wow…. that’s all i gotta say
My post was an indictment on the stereotype of Korean women being moneygrubbers. That’s just how alot of people view them. By people i Koreans and non-koreans. My personal belief is that it’s a stereotype that’s been perpetuated by too many messed up Korean dramas that everyone watches. Gotta remember though, that there’s usually a grain of truth there….. I can’t understand why they’re so damn popular outside of Korea… getting depressed at the bloody endings doesn’t make me want to go back for more.
Interesting bunch of responses btw.
Anyway, i gotta agree with you one one thing…Korean women got this thing against seeing a gynecologist until after they are married or pregnant. If they do go, everyone in the waiting room looks at them like a whore or slut. Knowing the embarrassment they have to go through to get examined, it’s somewhat understandable but still messed up. I remember reading somewhere that Korean women have higher rates of urethral cancer than the average women of developed countries…..
#97 wrote:
“On the other hand, our family 족보 (jokbo) on both sides of the family can trace our lineage and clan affiliation for the past 700 years or so. Not only does it attest to the fact that our branch has had no intra-clan marriages — which were forbidden anyway under the laws of pre-modern Korea, during the Japanese occupation, and after the Korean war up till about around 1994 — but it shows who my ancestors were by name, birth date, clan affiliation, as well as the date of his marriage, wife’s name, number and names of children, etc., going all the back to about the 14th century.”
Ummm, I wouldn’t be in too much of a hurry to put a great deal of stock in such mass-produced S.Korean 족보’s. I am sure you are aware that the buying and selling of titles and names was rampant in the latter portion of the Chosun dynasty, and especially in the final decades of the 19th century. You are also aware that, with the Kabo Reforms, the lower commoner classes of Korea were finally allowed to officially take surnames, and many chose the “top” family names (ever wonder why 이, 김 박, and 최 account for 48.5% of all Korean surnames, though almost 200 exist???). You are also aware that the 족보 industry began in S.Korea in the 1960′s and was booming in the late 70′s and the 80′s with S.K.’s new-found prosperity. You are also aware of the obvious point that 족보’s document only the male lineage, therefore if a non-Korean were to be part of the family on the female’s side, you never would know anyway.
(Ex.: in 1941, 1,416 Korean male/Japanese female marriages were registered
wth the colonial govt. in Korea–where have these people gone? The blood-lineage maintains the Korean tradition through the male, therefore the offspring of these couples were and are registered as “Korean.” These folks married and had children I am sure, as did their children. Do the math.)
You also must be aware that such ideas of “pure blood” are absolutely absurd with the modern science of genetics and DNA.
Not just Korean geneology studies, but all geneology studies are sort of silly.
Who cares anyway, except dorks who want to somehow gain a sense of importance which they lack in their own life. I am descended from a long-ass line of shit-workers, laborers, and folks who barely eked out a living in their mundane lives; and I am proud!
Nope. You are a product of centuries of inbreeding where cousins, brothers and sister procreated with other cousins, sisters and brothers. I never said that I had “pure blood.” What I do know is that our lineage did not have any incest in it, like your ancestors obviously did.
They sell jokbos out of the beds of bongos in Kwanghwamun.
The existence of counterfeit $100 bills does not prevent me and the rest of the world from using and accepting dollars as legal tender — knowing what real money looks and feels like is sufficient to protect yourself from the fakes.
Similarly, any idiot who believes that all 족보 are invalid b/c of the existence of a few fake ones has probably never seen a real one before, therefore, isn’t in a position to determine what is real or what is fake.
Recommendation: Familiarize yourself with a real 족보 before making blanket statements that they’re all fake.
Btw, dogbertt, faux expert extraordinaire on all things Korean, has a notorious reputation for being a KA hater and a knee-jerk contrarian. That said, as he’s probably never seen a real one in his life, dogbertt couldn’t tell the difference between a real 족보 and a fake one if his life depended on it. In fact, I don’t think he even knows what the difference is between a 족보 and a 호적등본.
Btw, what did dogbertt’s dad say to dogbertt’s mom the night dogbertt was conceived? “Yo, sis, I hope your still on the pill!”
There is something ironic about a Korean-American bleating on about his authentic 600-year-old 족보 after vehemently objecting to being called a gyopo and lumped in with 1st and 1.5 generation Korean immigrants.
I don’t give a toss if your 족보 is real or fake. We all have moms, dads, grandparents, and great-parents. Why on earth do I need to know the name and date of marriage of a 17th century ancestor long dead? The genealogies so carefully researched by my aunts lie buried in one of the boxes in storage. I consider all past immigrants to the US as my spiritual ancestors, for whether they came voluntarily or were brought against their will, together they’ve left us a rich cultural and human legacy. 족보s are for Koreans.
Dogbertt, do you have anything to say against this great American sentiment? Oh come on, I know you do. You don’t give a shit about great American sentiments if you disagree. Let’s hear it.
While it may be expected that someone who brings up their Korean ancestry should also latch on to, or claim affiliation with everything and anything Korean related, I disagree.
As a second-generation KA, I identify with my family’s lineage and ancestry within our 본관 (clan affiliation), as well as my country of citizenship, fellow countrymen and co-ethnics.
On the other hand, I do not identify with some kind of synthetic catchall or hodgepodge classification that is forcibly imposed on me — especially in a foreign language — that not only fails to accurately describe myself or my origins, but precludes me from expressing my own identity.
If this confuses you, I suggest you consult the diversity of the Korean diaspora before attempting to pigeonhole every Korean into a one-size-fits-all identity or a one-dimensional nomenclature.
Fair enough. I personally think it’s a waste of time arguing about genealogies and ancestors, as such discussions tend to devolve into playground catcalling along the lines of “my daddy can beat up your daddy” kinda nonsense.
Nevertheless, it’s nice to know that someone — who is not Korean — also took the time and had enough patience and consideration to document who there ancestors are, which IMO is far more credible than claiming that your are related to Julius Caesar.
At the end of the day, family histories and genealogical research have no no real application in Western society. However, in certain old-world clannish societies and tribal cultures like Korea’s, your family registry is the basis for not only your legal identity, but also the delineation of all your property rights, future affiliations, relationships including marriages, divorces, custody of children, division of assets, credit history, financial liabilities — including those of family members, etc., so it does matter.
One of my aunts does genealogy as a hobby and is busy researching the Hodges family lineage. That’s her married surname, so it’s not even, technically, her own family, but the husband’s name is searchable, an artifact of our Western tradition in which the wife and children take the man’s surname. Even surnames only go back a few centuries, however, so the trail soon goes cold. But even that ‘hot’ trail may easily mislead, for do any of us really know for certain who our forefathers were? Officially, that fellow with whom you share a surname might be your great-great-grandfather . . . but how do you know that your great-great-grandmother didn’t carry on an affair and get her nest feathered by some cuckoo? Genealogies are little more than agreed-upon fictions.
Now DNA testing, on the other hand, that might prove something interesting . . .
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
Mr. Koehler,
Please delete my last comment. I was merely trying to put the quotation marks, but somehow it did not work.
Thank you!
I heard this type of snare of young naive Korean women from financially middle or semi upper class was used by someone like you, Gyopo GI, who doesn’t exactly have any standing in either society on your own. Those naive young Korean girls are/were misled with such false promise of happiness until she arrives to her reality in the land of plenty. At least the Captain in your mother’s story had the look of the legendary handsome actor, William Holden, but majority of the Gimchi GIs DO NOT exactly possess that heart throbbing look, in case you didn’t know..
.
Says who? Where did you get that conclusion from or based on what? You just can’t accept the reality that these young clever girls are simply not into you. ..
.
Impressive! So, how many of your female relatives have her fair share of secret bank accounts? You were taught well early on. Please don’t attempt to marry any Korean girls. Leave them to those handsome William Holden look likes. ..
So, obviously you found yourself career in the “Be all you can be.” Please don’t say you signed up with the USA because of the 9/11. Nobody would be convinced on that ridiculous claim.
The Korean media and blog posts like the above gives one the impression that Korean women are lining up to marry foreign men. But from my personal experience and interaction with Korean women, all I can say is that the above is far from the truth.
Some if not most Korean women are reluctant to date or marry foreign men, not because of the stigma, or cultural/language differences, but because they simply find foreign men, for a lack of a better word, disgusting . The factors that were mentioned are body hair, odor, and of course the bigger physical features.
I wish that major Korean dailies won’t sensationalize the Korean women- foreign men thing. Considering the realities, it’s not worth the article space. It also means that the dailies in question probably have a large number of reporters with a lot of time on their hands.
Curiously, the above article concentrated on Korean women in their late 20s to early 30s who have post-graduate degrees, have overseas experience, and from the looks of it never had a relationship with a Korean male.
Women like the ones interviewed in the article would be typically called “눈이 높다” which translated into English means someone who aims high when it comes to choosing a partner of the opposite sex. In other words, it could construed that they are well snobs. And what better way to aim high than to go for a foreign husband(and a foreign citizenship) which makes them stand out among the crowd.
Of course had the newspaper in question cast a more wider net, I doubt it would have had the ammunition to publish the article in question.
OtherKorean, yes, a good number of K-women would not think twice about a waeguk but probably not because they think we are disgusting. I’ll give you four more likely reasons:
1-Parents, family, friends and negative stigma attached to dating waeguk
2-Different can mean unknown, uncomfortable 3-same culture equals easier access, understanding 4-they never met a waeguk
I often hear k-girls throw a ‘mosshi-sseo’ my way, but I am sure some of them wouldn’t consider dating me.
theotherkorean is correct. Across cultures, women probably place less emphasis on looks, but we do set either conscious or unconscious boundaries for height, weight, age and signs of aging, and grooming. Korean and Chinese women have remarked to me about some Western men being too heavy, too hairy, or too slovenly in their appearance.
At the end of the day, who gives a shit, and especially if they’re getting a green card/citizenship out of it, I’d wager they’d marry sasquatch w/o even thinking twice about it.
Shit, does that mean Sasquatch is a better catch than me?
T_T
The Joongang story is full of unhelpful baloney and as such is, well, unhelpful. It really doesn’t contain anything new, and only continues the conventional misconceptions. For example:
I have yet to hear anyone actually say, IN KOREAN, that they oppose interracial marriages because it “mixes blood.” I’m not saying I’m sure it never happens, but it’s rarely the real reason and it’s rarely stated that way if at all. I have vague recollection of people (the parents, the parties involved, etc) saying there was opposition because of what others might think about a biracial child, way back in the late eighties, but the only Koreans who are opposed to the actual mixing of blood are crazy Koreans-Are-The-Chosen-People and We-Have-Danguns-Blood types, and of course North Koreans, who are worried about the actual mixing of blood. GRANTED, a lot of Koreans like to state things in the easiest way possible, creating a lot of rhetorical collateral damage in the process, so it’s not uncommon to say “I don’t want my daughter to marry a foreigner because he’s not Korean” instead of saying, “If he’s a foreigner, he probably won’t become a prosecutor in Korea and whatever he is my Gyeongsang region neighbors won’t know enough about his culture for me to be able to exploit my daughter’s marriage for my personal glory as her father.” Better just to say, “But he’s not Korean so I don’t like him.” At any rate, many thanks to anyone who can point me to instances in text or video and IN KOREAN, where someone is expressing opposition to a marriage for the actual blood loss or bastardization of birthing a “mixed blood” child.
As for the “living together is taboo” part. This, too, is nonsense. Yes, casual living together for the sake of convenience is, while increasingly common among the youngins these days, is still taboo for society in general. But a quick review of Chunhyangjeon is a ready reminder of how sex before marriage and being together that way was in fact quite acceptable in traditional society. Sure, it may have been acceptable in Chunhyangjeon because Chunhyang was of lowly status and therefore had little to lose, whereas the woman in the Joongang article is from a family that thinks it is of high social status, but I myself know many couples that lived together, openly and with approval from clan elders, prior to being married. And that is the key – traditionally, if you are living together, the assumption is that you are ready to be seen as essentially married already. It only hurts the woman’s reputation if the two then decide against marrying, which is why Korea had a crime called “getting a woman to have sex with you after promising her marriage and then not marrying her” (혼인빙자간음) on the lawbooks until the Constitutional Court called it unconstitutional last year. My point is that while the article calls living together taboo, it was probably far more common in the fifties in Korea than it was in the US, but it meant that you were as good as married and seen as such by those who knew you. The woman in the Joongang story intends to marry the foreigner she’s living with, so as long as they follow through it will in retrospect be seen as having been part of the process of being properly married.
8675309 is self-outed… We didn’t ask and we wish he hadn’t told us…
The rest of the “he-said, she-said” stuff here is pretty much the same as you’d find on a Star Wars forum discussing Mac vs. PC vs. Linux”: Juvenile and out of place; but thoroughly heated…
There are no two people alike. And those who try to place others into nice neat boxes based on external characteristics like race or weight are probably struggling with some perceived failing in their own life.
If you’re not happy, talk with a pastor or rabbi or get some counseling before you hurt yourself.
8675309 – You are quite imaginitive to believe all foreigners are the result of inbreeding. In fact that’s quite impossible as most foreigners scattered throughout many countries and continents over the centuries. It would be quite hard to marry your cousin if he/she was in another continent. I am from the UK not the US (as you narrow-mindedly assumed). The British Empire scattered and colonized more countries than any other on the planet for 1000 years sharing technology, culture and wait for it… DNA!!!
On the other hand you telling me your nation with only a handful of last names, that’s been raped, supressed and shit on by both the Japanese and Chinese is more diverse? Get a grip pal!
Something the articles — and the comments — always leave out are cute anecdotes like here, which I found on Naver 지식IN. Hopefully posting this doesn’t make me bitch.
외국인 남친이 저보고 sexy bitch래요 비공개 2008.09.21 23:26
답변 5 조회 34,721
저에겐 외국인 남친이 있는데
그냥 즐겁게 대화하다가 저보고 sexy bitch 래요 ;;;
전 첨에 bitch가 창녀뜻인줄알았는데 아니더군요
근데 찾아보니깐 암튼 안 좋은 뜻인데
그거 듣고 놀래서 뭐?bitch? i’m not bitch 라고 했어요
그랬더니 남친이 , yea you are not bitch you are my girlfriend 라고 햇어염
음,, 이거 어떻게 생각하세여? 어떻게 받아들여야할지 ;;
섹시비취가 뭔뜻일까여???
Sounds more like a stupid cow than a sexy bitch to me.
You must log in to post a comment.
{ 3 trackbacks }