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Ever Wonder Why Koreans are so Angry?

According to the Korea Times:

Korea is becoming an “angry society,” where killing people in a fit of rage is no longer a rare crime and other crimes of passion are increasingly becoming commonplace.

How angry?

According to the Supreme Prosecutors’ Office, the number of crimes motivated by anger towards daily life has increased significantly over the past five years.

The office categorized 37,671 cases reported in 2005 as crimes perpetrated “out of a sudden loss of temper.” The figure rose to 101,670 in 2006 and 123,401 the following year. It reached a record high of 159,833 in 2008, the latest data available.

Why?

“Koreans are particularly vulnerable to vexation in daily life,” said Dr. Woo Jong-min, a psychiatrist at Paik Hospital in Seoul. “They don’t know how to wisely quell and vent anger. They have learned how to compete at their schools and workplaces, but never learned how to relax and vent their frustrations.”

  • http://askakorean.blogspot.com thekorean

    I see you decided to liven up the comment board, Mr. Neff. :)

  • lollabrats

    “Koreans are particularly vulnerable to vexation in daily life,” said Dr. Woo Jong-min, a psychiatrist at Paik Hospital in Seoul. “They don’t know how to wisely quell and vent anger. They have learned how to compete at their schools and workplaces, but never learned how to relax and vent their frustrations.”

    Yup, this is the explanation. To change this cultural behavior, the government, medical professionals, social researchers, and informed private citizens need to get involved in a very big and public way to promote interpersonal strategies that are successful in defusing conflict and releasing emotional stress.

    Korean popular culture is not helping, however. Although I do not generally watch Korean TV dramas, it is difficult not to come across them living in the Los Angeles and Orange County regions as I do. But when I watch them, it becomes apparent to me that these popular shows directed at younger audiences tend to glorify the lack of such strategies and instead promote the exhibition of rage in a violent and public manner. It seems to me that you can’t have a Korean show without screaming matches and hysterical reactions to almost anything once every five minutes or so.

    Likewise, Korean music videos seem to glorify suicidal and masochistic behavior as a reaction against their inability to deal with external pressures. In this, from the top of my head, I am reminded of popular contemporary Japanese pop art as well as American gangsta rap music in the 90s and poems by Sylvia Plath. But unlike in America or Japan, I do not know that there are enough Korean artists and writers who counterbalance such tendencies in Korean pop art.

    Furthermore, with the popularity and growing influence of Korean and Japanese and American pop art in southeast Asia, I am curious to see how the societies there will be impacted by such imagery of self-annihilation as a means of coping with things they have not learned the strategies to deal with.

  • dokdoforever

    Gentleness and civility, I’d like to see more of that in Korea.

  • DLBarch

    When I start hearing about drive-by shootings in Seoul, then I’ll start paying more attention to these stories. Koreans may not be as chill as their Californian kyopo brahs, but the country was built on the society’s type-A drive, so something must be working right for them.

    Now, if they’d just cut down on the drinking and whoring, well, that’d be a huge improvement.

    DLB

  • Darth Babaganoosh

    They have learned how to compete [...] but never learned how to relax

    Gomer Pyle: Well goooooolly. Surprise surprise surprise.

    Aladdin’s parrot (Gilbert Gottlieb’s voice) : What a surprise. I almost had a heart attack from that surprise.

  • lollabrats

    @DLBarch

    I don’t see why you should equate a general lack in the culture of the ability to find strategies to relieve emotional stress and to foster greater interpersonal skill with professional success. Also, the relevant social concern is not drive-by shootings but suicides and the ability to communicate with others in a way that fosters greater enjoyment in the workplace and at home.

    You folks, I suppose, are the experts of Korean society, but in America, people who work well with others and are easy to get along with tend to experience more professional success and enjoy life more than people who do not. I don’t know why this should be different in Korea, however. And the people who are easy to get along with are the people who have best mastered interpersonal communication skills. Not surprisingly, these people also tend to be superior at relieving stress than people who are not. The important point is that these skills are wholly teachable behavior.

  • slouching_tiger

    You are what you eat. If 90% of your diet is made up of hot peppers, unions, and garlic, it only makes sense that you will be prone to fly off the handle. (The traditional Buddhist diet forsakes these pungent ingredients for this very reason.) Add to this Korean “pride” and modern stress, and you got yourself a combustible mix.

    Just my 2 cents.

  • PineForest

    BECOMING angry? I was struck on month one of my arrival in Korea how angry the place was. And that was a long time ago. I’m against gun control in America. But in Korea, it really might be a good idea.

  • Diggie

    “Koreans are particularly vulnerable to ______________ (because) They don’t know how to ______________.”

    Seems like this formula is comes up a lot. Innocent victims of something or other . . . even themselves, I guess.

    That said, I don’t find Koreans particularly “angry” as a people when compared with other countries/cultures. Sure they don’t don’t broad-beam smile at you like the Thais, but then again I’d much rather piss off a Korean than a Thai. It’s a matter of bark vs. bite.

    On the other hand, I agree with dokdoforever about there being a general dearth of “gentleness and civility.”

    Perhaps that’s because, as a Korean, there are culturally appropriate times when you are expected to just pour on the “gentleness and civility” (often to the point of ingratiating banality) that there isn’t much left for general use.

    All in all, though, I’d have to agree with (name escapes me) who pegged the Koreans as the Asians most maligned but easiest to live with.

  • http://askakorean.blogspot.com thekorean

    They have learned how to compete at their schools and workplaces, but never learned how to relax and vent their frustrations.

    Ha! Why does he think Koreans drink then?

  • http://www.xanga.com/wangkon936 WangKon936

    Ever Wonder Why Koreans are so Angry?

    I dunno…?…. maybe the same reason why all Irish are angry, why all Arabs are angry, why all rap singers are angry… why all….

  • MrMao

    hot peppers, unions, and garlic,

    Reaganomics?

  • KrZ

    My Korean-Canadian friend always used to refer to Koreans as “The Jews of Asia.”

  • Andrew

    Koreans to me have a lot of social relaxing times. I see them at restaurants with friends late at night, and walking in the mountains. Actually they seem more sociable than my home country (at least to their friends).

    But I would say, dispute settlement seems lacking. Kids play rock,paper, scissors, adults shout and throw things.

  • http://throughwhiteyseyes.blogspot.com whitey

    “They don’t know how to wisely quell and vent anger.”

    Anyone with a Korean girlfriend or wife knows this to be true. It’s the price one has to pay for the positive qualities: the liveliness, vivacity, and feistiness.

  • knoxfielding

    It’s silly to think people in Korea have a greater propensity for anger(what is anger?happiness, satisfaction, are things which are measured regularly which korea ranks quite low, but the article is not about those) than people in any other locale on the Earth, so let us not go there.

    What seems to be the senseless implication of the article is that people are angrier now than they were 5 years ago. Or 5 years ago, people were equally angry or more angry than they are now, they just had better outlets. Both propositions could be true, but don’t seem to make very much intuitive sense to me as Korea was just as industrialized as it is now with not very much difference in lifestyle. We could even argue that the sudden spike in crimes which occured between 2005 and 2006 dropped off in 2008(there wasn’t as high an increase in crimes committed in a fit of anger).

    My main point is that this is yet another fluffy article courtesy of the Korea Times foreigners naturally find congenial but isn’t grounded in any real statistical evidence about ‘crimes of passion’ or ‘anger’ in this country.

  • http://www.san-shin.org sanshinseon

    They have … never learned how to relax and vent their frustrations.

    I’ve been told by two entire generations of Koreans that that’s what all the soju and cigarettes are for. Maybe even all the stunt-sex with hookers. Anybody familiar with basic psychology and spirituality could tell you that these things don’t really work for that, in anything but the very short-run; they just make things worse long-term.

    I have long found it to be an extremely stressed society, levels of stress just goin-off-the-dial in every sector you look into. So much anger comes from the unrelieved injustices, unresolved conflicts and unexpressed emotions, lack of genuine communication. It is surely related to the economic success Korea has had, but one might guess that prosperity could still be attained with less stress and anger. Don’t have any certainty on that more than anybody does, but it seems reasonable to hope for it.

    A lot of this comes from the totally-asshole way that bosses treat their workers, and in general the asshole behaviors of seniors towards juniors you can see all around. I don’t know how to change that or even if it could be changed, in anything but the long-run. There is certainly nothing that outsiders like me can do about it.

    I do know that a lot of young Koreans are aware that something is really wrong in their society along these lines, have at least some vague sense of what it is, and dream of doing things in a better way. I wish them Good Fortune with that, and offer my support from the sidelines.

  • seouldout

    Bottom line up up front: it’s a culture that rewards bullies and sycophants.

    But there are also a whole bunch of mediocre folks who think that forces conspired to deny them something better.

  • 8675309

    A lot of this comes from the totally-asshole way that bosses treat their workers, and in general the asshole behaviors of seniors towards juniors you can see all around.

    Being a lifer in a Korean corporation is akin to being a perpetual boot in boot camp or a freshman in a frat hazing ritual for life. Even so-called senior execs never get a break — you screw up this much, don’t kiss ass enough, or get stabbed-in-the-back, you’re back in the trenches with the other rushees eternally asking, “Please sir, may I have another…”

    I had two acquaintances, one was a senior exec for Samsung-Tesco in his late 40′s, another was a friend of my parents who was a senior prosecutor working for the Seoul Prosecutor’s office in his early 50′s. Both of them “screwed up” professionally in their own unique ways and were punished in typically Korean ways.

    The Samsung-Tesco guy was punished by being demoted from his position as a senior exec to a store supervisor trainee, where he spent the first six months pushing a broom up and down floors of a Samsung-Tesco department store.

    The Seoul Prosecutor, who also happened to be a devout Christian, was punished for his social faux pas and tee-totalling ways, which caught the attention of his boss during an office hwoe-shik, by being demoted from the Seoul office and banished to a backwater office somewhere in Cholla-namdo, even though his home, family and children all resided in Seoul.

    The good news is both of them endured their punishments for the requisite year or two in purgatory by demonstrating the requisite loyalty, showing true grit, repenting of their sins, remonstrating, and all that jazz, and were eventually reinstated to their prior positions. Just like that scene of wayward manager’s training in Gung Ho.

  • http://www.xanga.com/wangkon936 WangKon936

    I once knew a Korean American girl who worked for the LAPD rampart district, the police station who’s jurisdiction was Koreatown, among other areas. Koreatown is now almost the exclusive jurisdiction of the brand spanking new Olympic station. Anyways, she said in terms of crime among Koreans in Koreatown…. you didn’t really have to worry about petty theft, graffiti, vandalism, gang shootings, stuff like that. What you did have to worry about were domestic disputes, sudden outbursts by people who appeared normal, men acting like an ass when drunk, and some shootings between people who know each other, but felt they got wronged somehow. Koreans are less likely to hurt you if they don’t know you.

    Yeah, Koreans have their problems, but she’d rather work in Koreatown than in Compton or East L.A.

  • 8675309

    Koreans to me have a lot of social relaxing times. I see them at restaurants with friends late at night, and walking in the mountains.

    These are the Koreans who are either retired, Koreans who are unemployed, Koreans who are one-generation removed from farmers who owned a one-acre lot in what is now Gangnam during the height of the real estate boom, or Gangpae who otherwise have all the time in the world.

    Korean salarymen, on the other hand, do not have time to take nature walks in the woods or meet up with friends outside of work to have meaningful conversation over good food and drink.

  • hansbrix

    This is not just to do with modern society, let me tell you, I’ve been watching the TV drama “Chuno” and in the Joseon era people also seem to have been quite p*ssed off, they’re always shooting arrows and chasing each other on horseback, grimacing with stress and frustration. A slave even killed his owner – can you imagine that happening in the 21st century? You’d be sued before you even knew what had happened.

    Also, Yeonsan-gun seems to have had quite high stress levels. Does anybody have any data on his consumption of garlic and chili peppers and his union activity?

  • wookinponub

    “I have long found it to be an extremely stressed society, levels of stress just goin-off-the-dial in every sector you look into. So much anger comes from the unrelieved injustices, unresolved conflicts and unexpressed emotions, lack of genuine communication. It is surely related to the economic success Korea has had, but one might guess that prosperity could still be attained with less stress and anger. Don’t have any certainty on that more than anybody does, but it seems reasonable to hope for it.A lot of this comes from the totally-asshole way that bosses treat their workers, and in general the asshole behaviors of seniors towards juniors you can see all around.
    I don’t know how to change that or even if it could be changed, in anything but the long-run. There is certainly nothing that outsiders like me can do about it.”

    Remove “Korean” and all references to any ethnicity/locale and you have one quality for the basis of my bitch here and on life in general. We gots all the toys and bling we could hope for. I have four goddam computers, two iPods, two cars, sorry, three….2000 music cd’s…..Exactly how much distractive SHIT do we really need? My job sucks because of the pressure, not the duties. I like what I do. I HATE the SHITHEADS I do it for. Suits, and the fucking WORSHIP of “shareholder value” is another large stress contributor. When do we wake up and see that we are being distracted from the joys of real life and being herded like sheep? What do our lives amount to when all we can relate is hate and consternation? Don’t even try to tell me that all I need to do is suck it up. YOU suck it. I want to enjoy life. It’s a liberty all humans deserve, not just those who have three commas in their net worth. Today’s politics has nothing to do with advancement of the human condition. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Exactly WHAT good does all the divisiveness serve? Don’t most of us inhabit the middle latitudes of any spectrum of whatthefuck? Why do we spend so much time hating ‘them’ and circling the wagons ’round ‘us’? It serves a purpose for those who can’t tolerate scrutiny. Societal friction is good for those above it. Think about it.

  • wookinponub

    “An apology is not a credit in the moral bank account so that you can commit more wrongdoings later. Anyone with a functioning moral compass knows this. If you say you recognize things on one day and fail to recognize on the next, what’s the point?”

    Another keeper. Liberals. How dare they?
    Seriously. There’s something basic here. Even a contard jesus freak should see that.

  • tinyflowers

    But there are also a whole bunch of mediocre folks who think that forces conspired to deny them something better.

    says the guy who couldn’t hack it in Korea but still can’t let go. LOL!

  • tinyflowers

    Now, if they’d just cut down on the drinking and whoring, well, that’d be a huge improvement.

    DLB

    Cultural imperialist! GTFO!!! lol j/k (not really)

  • Arghaeri

    “The Samsung-Tesco guy was punished by being demoted from his position as a senior exec to a store supervisor trainee”

    My wife tells me that on the rumour line that’s basically what happened to the Samsung Electronics Busajang who just recently topped himself. Having been a n umber one top flyer who’d never failed at anything, couldn’t take it.

  • tinyflowers

    Speaking of angry people, the latest headline here is:

    “Professor goes on shooting spree after being denied tenure. 3 killed.”

    Pretty routine stuff in America. This would hardly make the news, except that it’s a woman this time. She’ll be dismissed as a loon, a wacko, mentally unstable and locked away.

    No one will analyze this as evidence that Americans are angry people prone to violent outbursts if they don’t get their way. But can you imagine how this board would light up if the headline had been:

    “Korean professor goes on shooting spree after being denied tenure. 3 killed.”

    There would be all kinds of handwringing and armchair psychoanalysis about what angry people Koreans are. How they can’t cope with stress. etc. etc.

    But the fact is, around the world, Americans have a far worse reputation than Koreans when it comes to anger and violence. A lot of it is due to the popularity of American pop culture, much of it violent and vulger (think hip hop and hollywood action movies). But it’s also due to recent wars America has waged, and stories of random violence like the above. It is a fact that America has the worst crime rates in the developed world, particularly violent crime.

    All these stereotypes about violent Americans or angry Koreans probably have some validity. Speaking in broad generalizations, I think what this means is that Koreans are more likely to express anger openly, sometimes escalating into some drunken brawling or theatrics in the National Assembly. But Koreans are also just as quick to cool down, usually without much damage. Americans on the other hand are less confrontational, less likely to express their anger openly. But a higher threshold for anger means that there is a greater potential for violence when that anger is realeased, with some eventually “snapping” and exploding in an outburst of deadly violence.

    A morbid office pasttime in America is taking bets on who’s going to snap first. lol.

  • Arghaeri

    “Cultural imperialist! GTFO!!!”

    Agree, DLB makes it sound like a bad thing.

  • tinyflowers

    The boozing and whoring is the only thing that makes Korea tolerable.

    Just like getting high is the only thing that makes America tolerable.

    Cultural differences, you see.

  • Anonymous Commenter

    @ tinyflowers

    Give me a break. I don’t have to bring up 조승희 to illustrate just how capable Koreans are of outrageous acts of violence. I guess Koreans just like to perform criminal acts in bulk orders.

  • tinyflowers

    Like I said, I was speaking in generalizations.

    Cho? How original of you to bring THAT up! But it’s interesting that you immediately focus in on ethnicity when I’m clearly talking about differences in culture here. I guess you can’t see past the surface.

    And sorry to tell you this, but Cho’s shooting spree only added to the violent reputation that Americans have around the world. People just saw it as the latest incident in a long pattern of school and workplace violence in America.

    I live in a culture that glorifies and celebrates violence in art and entertainment. I have no problem with that. It’s what I grew up with. I’m just telling it like it is.

    I see a double standard here.
    Why is it okay to ask:
    “Ever Wonder Why Koreans are so Angry?”
    But not:
    “Ever Wonder Why Americans are so Violent?”

    The second question is more valid imo since its actually measurable. The OP pointed to crime rates (and some anecdotes) as proof that Koreans are angry people. Expats all nod in agreement.

    Well, the violent crime rate in America is FAR higher than Korea, so what does that mean? According to some of the commenters here I guess that means that Americans are simply unable to cope with the stresses of daily life and end up snapping. Every day in America, somebody snaps. Every day in America, people take guns into work or school to settle things. Violent people.

  • tinyflowers

    The funny thing is, while growing up I never heard the “Violent American” stereotype. I was immersed in video games, movies, television like any boy growing up in America. Looking back on it, I realize how violent it all was and I have to believe that that kind of violent media saturation effects children in significant ways.

    The first I heard about the “Violent American” stereotype was in college – from my liberal professsor (go figure).

  • http://www.san-shin.org sanshinseon

    I see a double standard here. Why is it okay to ask:
    “Ever Wonder Why Koreans are so Angry?”
    But not:
    “Ever Wonder Why Americans are so Violent?”

    That second question has been asked, and answers attempted, a million times. So many studies, books, seminars, research projects, TV discussions, congressional hearings. Major theme of Moore’s movie “Bowling for Columbine” and many less-famous, and 40% of all the dramas Hollyood has ever spit out. I can’t believe you think insufficient attention has been paid to American violence — if anything it’s overdone. But honest & open discussion of SK’s anger & stress levels has only just begun….

  • tinyflowers

    Actually, I don’t think insufficient attention has been paid to American violence, and all of those things you listed I’m aware of. Which is why I said:

    “But the fact is, around the world, Americans have a far worse reputation than Koreans when it comes to anger and violence.”

    That’s where I see the disconnect when Americans talk about how angry Koreans are all the time. Americans giving Koreans anger management lessons? Puh-leeze!

  • 8675309

    “But the fact is, around the world, Americans have a far worse reputation than Koreans when it comes to anger and violence.”

    In the six years that I drove in Korea commuting to and from work practically everyday, I only had ONE incident of road rage that to this day still sticks in my mind. Not surprisingly, it wasn’t with a Korean; it was with a cracker in a Ssangyong Korando who almost killed me by pretending to sideswipe me andforce me off the skyway — which if I hadn’t stood my ground, would’ve resulted in me going over the retaining wall for a 30m plunge into somebody’s maru-bang. In that respect, I totally agree with Chris Rock, who put it soooo succinctly when he said:

    “Did Al-Quaeda put anthrax in your mail? No.
    Did Al-Quaeda blow-up Oklahoma City? No.
    Did Al-Quaeda blow-up Waco? No.
    Was the unabomber Al-Quaeda? No….
    I ain’t scared of Al-Quaeda; I’m scared of Al-Cracker!”

  • Anonymous Commenter

    tinyflowers, have you ever even lived in America? It took you until university for you to hear of the “violent American?” Have you ever heard of Timothy McVeigh, Columbine, gangster rap, Grand Theft Auto, UFC, or Senator Lieberman’s campaign against the entertainment industry? You played violent video games, but it took your professor’s lecture to figure out that many aspects of American culture is violent? Americans are aware that they are quite capable of violence.

    Of course I brought up Cho. If you think Cho’s murder spree tarnished the image of America, then maybe you should go back and read about the fears the Korean community had of its tarnished image in America. But did Americans react negatively towards them? South Korea feared the effect this murder spree would have on its relationship with the U.S. But did the U.S. belittle the relationship? In fact, if you think Korean culture’s hands were clean of any blood, maybe you should review Cho’s packaged manifesto. One of the chilling pictures Cho took was of himself holding hammer a la 오대수 of Oldboy (올드보이, the original Korean title).

    Korean culture does have its vulgarities, which can influence its citizens. But Korea has the benefit of having a very ethnically homogeneous society where citizens have few differences or clashes in culture. Whenever you have an enterprise as such as the “American experiment,” ethnocultural differences and conflicts will arise, which will undoubtedly lead to public violence. During the L.A. riots, Koreans were carrying weapons and aimlessly shooting them in the streets. Place a Korean in a situation where he confronted by a non-Korean, he is capable of acts of extreme and heinous violence. For example, I wouldn’t be surprised if the crime rate of Zainichis is higher than the norm in Japan. Furthermore, since Koreans are extremely guarded about their personal lives and of each other, I would not be surprised if violent crimes, such as rape or crimes against non-Koreans (esp. from SE Asia), go under-reported (this difference may not be close to U.S. crime figures, but its still a critical distortion).

  • NetizenKim

    Anonymous Commentator is an idiot. Don’t waste time debating with this fool.

  • http://pawikirogii.blogspot.com pawikirogii

    ‘Anonymous Commentator is an idiot. Don’t waste time debating with this fool. ‘

    good advice.

  • tinyflowers

    Haha too late! Already typed out a response. x3 on him being an idiot though.

    have you ever even lived in America? It took you until university for you to hear of the “violent American?” Have you ever heard of Timothy McVeigh, Columbine, gangster rap, Grand Theft Auto, UFC, or Senator Lieberman’s campaign against the entertainment industry? You played violent video games, but it took your professor’s lecture to figure out that many aspects of American culture is violent?

    Well I was aware that the pop culture I was immersed in glorified violence, but I didn’t think of it as particularly American back then.

    Some teenager going to see a violent movie isn’t necessarily going to think of it as an “American” movie. When you’re completely immersed in a culture you just don’t think that way.

    In fact, if you think Korean culture’s hands were clean of any blood, maybe you should review Cho’s packaged manifesto. One of the chilling pictures Cho took was of himself holding hammer…

    It’s a tenuous connection at best. What Cho did fit very clearly into the American pattern of violent behavior. If he was in Korea, he would have likely offed himself instead of lashing out at society.

    During the L.A. riots, Koreans were carrying weapons and aimlessly shooting them in the streets. Place a Korean in a situation where he confronted by a non-Korean, he is capable of acts of extreme and heinous violence.

    Nice example there. Business owners protecting their property from thugs = acts of extreme and heinous violence. I don’t think so. But it is very telling that that was your best example. Isn’t it?

  • NetizenKim

    tiny, where’d you learn how to opinionate like that? keep up the good work. My argumentative mojo nowadays has not the same vigor as in the past.

  • agoldensky

    just a quick question, why does an article about Koreans, written by Koreans and printed in a Korean newspaper in Korea morph effortlessly into “Well American’s are worse?

  • Dan

    Drive by shootings don't exist as the access to guns in the society is limited to official capacities or hunting activities. I have a foreign friend here that got attacked last month while in the car, the Korean aggressor punched through the driver side glass and attacked him. My friend severed the muscle tissue below the elbow and was bleeding to death. He sped off ahead and before passing out, some older Korean gentlemen helped him to a nearby clinic to stem the bleeding. I also have been in very near encounters of aggravated conflict and aggressive behavior that I rarely (almost never) encountered back home in the States. I thnk Korea is very small so the pressure and tensions can be very high at times, multiplied by the confines of Confucian cultural thinkings and heirarchies that can bottle up emotions over long periods that finally reach their bursting point. After living here six years, I feel I've reached my limits to hold my temper too, living around all that. As said above, there is much yet to be filled in the vessels of gentleness and civility.

  • Knails

    The U.S. needs to pull out of Korea and leave them to their own (violent) devises. Most of the rest elsewhere need to be deported back.

  • Hopeless

    I’ve been married to a korean woman for over ten years, the first four were in korea, and we have a ten year old daughter. While I noticed some very dark rages against me there once we can to canada they increased. The inlaws visited and weren’t content and got into a storm. I have got in legal trouble one time for pushing my wife off out of shock in a public place which seemed to give her a 007 licence to rage on me ever so often. So the update is that for the past six years she has periodically emotionally and physically adused me, we an intension to hurt me. The they fade away and she is the angel she claims. Because of the legal problem I can’t do anything. I did go to a Korean church for help but became disallusioned with them. The problem is, they are always right and never admit that my wifes rages are her problem and then talk about her feelings an  desires instead. When me and my daughter are together we have even talked about it and she will admit that it is her mother attacking me. My wife is a good person but she a delusions and anger rages, a mental problem. Often the rages are a result of discussion she has with other koreans, so I wonder CAN A KOREAN EVER TAKE A POSITION IN FAVOUR OF THE NON KOREAN, IMPOSSIBILE, THOUGH THEY TRY TO BE KIND – THEY CAN’T SAY “HEY IT’S WRONG TO BEAT YOU WESTERN HUSBAND AND YOUR REASONS ARE BS, OR DELUSIONS! 

  • http://www.bcarr.com/ Brendon Carr

    That’s the exact opposite of the story in our family. My mother-in-law is 110% on my side.

  • JJ

    When a culture cultivates emotionality as a pure and laudable instinct, you’re likely to see to more emotionality in all its various forms — positive and negative. 

  • Bulder

    I live in Toronto near Christy and Bloor little Korean town . Koreans are very snotty I general not shy but snotty and racist . They only talk to you if you are tall and white . I like their food but they act weird when they serve you in the restaurant .Most come from South Korean village’s. The costumer have to kiss their ass ,that’s their attitude of service . ‘ So what if you are white ‘??!! You have to ask two times for water and they get very mad if you don’t live a tip . Ass….ls !!

  • miki

    I’m japanese. I see that many korean girls really hates us japanese. they always say disrespectful comment or spit like men whenever they see a japanese looking person on the street.
    I can see the reason why they have the world’s highest cosmetic surgery rate in the world.
    I wonder if they are ever able to hide that true color.
    I truly feel sorry for them.

  • http://www.rjkoehler.com Robert Koehler

    Does this make you feel better?

  • wangkon936

    Miki,

    Where have you been spending all your time? I have never seen a Korean girl do this or even contemplate doing this. My cousin (who is Korean who has lived all her life in Korea) studied in Japan and learned the language. She said it was alrite. Superficial apologizing culture she thinks. There was a lot of drinking one night and all her Japanese friends, without her even asking or bringing up the subject, all kneeled to her in a drunken stupor and profusely apologized about Dokdo. Funniest thing she saw in Japan.

    It’s also a superficially nice culture too. One Japanese lady told her she could come over any time. She took her up on the offer and showed up at her house and the lady looked at her with quizzical eyes and said, “who are you?”

  • bumfromkorea

    God damn it that’s awesome.