This Is Why You Should Be Careful When Choosing a Name

by Robert Koehler on July 31, 2009

The NYT writes about the travails of Korean immigrant Jang Do (Korean: Do Jang-hyeon), who just wanted to fit into his new environment:

After he came to America from Korea more than three decades ago, Jang Do wanted what many immigrants have always wanted: to fit in. So he decided to Americanize his name.

But at age 11, still fuzzy on the vernacular, he took an interesting tack.

First he turned “Jang” into “John.” Then, he talked his family into adding an “e” to their last name. He was concerned, he said, about razzing and wanted to make sure it would be pronounced like the “do” in “tae kwon do” and not the “do” in “hairdo.”

He has been John Doe ever since.

Airport security grills him every time he flies. “I have to sit in the office,” he said. “Every time.” Landlords and election inspectors view him quizzically, and prospective dates need more than a little assurance that he’s not hiding a dark past.

Poor bastard.

{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Darth Babaganoosh July 31, 2009 at 2:15 pm

I actually worked with a gyopo here in Korea who was named John Doe (a grad of Carnegie Mellon). Actually, I think he spelled his surname Doh, which in retrospect wasn’t all that wise either.

2 keith July 31, 2009 at 3:02 pm

How retarded are American landlords, women, and especially election or immigration officials if they give people grief over their names?

My father had a client once called ‘Mr. Halfhead’, A drum instructor at my Uni back home was called ‘Hassle’, I went to school with a guy with the surname of ‘Crap’, A piano teacher I know is unfortunately named ‘Richard Head’ (his parents must have been complete wankers), a close friend always get a laugh from the police if they pull him over because his surname is ‘Crook’.

Some people have odd, amusing or unusual names. It doesn’t mean they’re sinister or anything.

3 Arghaeri July 31, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Yeah, I know a Pratt and a Crook…

4 keith July 31, 2009 at 4:46 pm

@3 Yeah I forgot about Jonathan Pratt who I also went to school with! (not the famous deceased British artist).

Did we attend the same secondary school in the UK? I wonder…

5 Maekchu July 31, 2009 at 7:13 pm

I knew a Richard Staynes back in my Navy days. Even better was when he was an E-3 which is a Seaman in the Navy. Seaman Staynes.

6 Darth Babaganoosh July 31, 2009 at 8:30 pm

I went to high school with a Shanda Lear.

7 SomeguyinKorea July 31, 2009 at 10:33 pm

I’ve seen all kinds of odd ones when I worked for the government. I once processed a change of name application for a young woman who had just gotten married. She hyphenated her maiden name with that of her husband. Her new name was Mrs. Stagg-Pardy.

8 SomeguyinKorea July 31, 2009 at 10:35 pm
9 Uri Onara July 31, 2009 at 11:23 pm

Went to an international friendship party once in Tokyo and met a group of Burmese refugees. One of whose name was Raa Men. It didn’t help that Burmese don’t use kanji and of course he had to write his nametag in katakana.

10 keith July 31, 2009 at 11:46 pm

Sort of an urban myth (related to beers @5) there are some funny mythical names related to the classic kids’ show ‘Captain Pugwash’.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Pugwash

Pugwash
Seaman Staynes
Roger the Cabin Boy
Master Bates

11 t_song August 1, 2009 at 12:12 am

Well at least this guy’s last name is not Kim, where you can then get (these are all people I know)

Tim Kim
Kim Kim
Bob Kim (flip it around Korean style)
So Young Kim

Well, the last one is sort of flattering, but I’m glad I wasn’t her. Especially now that she’s, heh-heh, (not) So Young Kim anymore.

12 SomeguyinKorea August 1, 2009 at 1:33 am

t-song,

Dong Suk, Bum Suk, and Bong Suk are also unfortunate names in English. :)

13 seouldout August 1, 2009 at 2:29 am

Here’s a nice song about little Bobby’s best friend, a dog named Stains.

14 Mizar5 August 1, 2009 at 3:13 am

As is the name Ryu Suk.

15 t_song August 1, 2009 at 4:22 am

Well we can’t forget any girl’s name that starts:
보지연, 보지영…~~~~

16 DLBarch August 1, 2009 at 5:15 am

I always liked the name “Chang Namgeun.” It helps if you know hanja.

DLB

17 Mizar5 August 1, 2009 at 5:44 am

t_song, foreigners find that amusing but Koreans don’t confuse see a resemblence in the pronunciation.

18 NetizenKim August 1, 2009 at 7:39 am
19 JW August 1, 2009 at 8:41 am

There’s a restaurant in fort lee, nj named Mo Pho.

It’s got the best motherfuckin’ Pho around.

20 JW August 1, 2009 at 8:45 am

And there’s a girl from cali whose named “Kinky Ho”. Dude. That sucks.

http://www.classmates.com/directory/public/memberprofile/list.htm?regId=8708374201

21 SomeguyinKorea August 1, 2009 at 9:03 am

There’s also a guy in Cali named Dick Swallows.

http://names.whitepages.com/Richard/Swallows

And who can forget this guy…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Assman

22 CactusMcHarris August 1, 2009 at 9:42 am

I worked with a guy whose legal name was Richard Seaman, naturally shortened to Dick. I wonder what the hell he had done to his parents…

23 Arghaeri August 1, 2009 at 3:46 pm

Of course there’s always the classic Mike Hunt…spoken quickly

24 wookinponub August 1, 2009 at 9:38 pm

I worked for a short time with a man named Richard Dick. I’d kill my parents for that.

25 wookinponub August 1, 2009 at 9:39 pm

Don’t take that the wrong way.

26 guitard August 4, 2009 at 2:32 am

A Korean-American friend of mine had the pleasure of working with a Chinese women whose surname was “Wang.” Her given name was “Bo-Ji.”

A met a US Army soldier whose surname was “Littlewhiteman.” She was American Indian. Not sure which tribe.

27 guitard August 4, 2009 at 2:34 am

Almost forgot…I once met a Miss “Gang Bang Mi.” I told her if she ever goes to an English speaking country – be sure to never write her name Korean style with the family name first.

28 Mizar5 August 4, 2009 at 3:31 am

When the Won Buddists gave me a dharma name, it turned out to be one I would never use:
Won Young Ho.

29 CactusMcHarris August 4, 2009 at 4:42 am

#28m

Because socks don’t have dharmic names or because you never won a young ‘un?

30 Mizar5 August 4, 2009 at 4:45 am

Because socks are for kids, silly cactus.

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