The NYT writes about the travails of Korean immigrant Jang Do (Korean: Do Jang-hyeon), who just wanted to fit into his new environment:
After he came to America from Korea more than three decades ago, Jang Do wanted what many immigrants have always wanted: to fit in. So he decided to Americanize his name.
But at age 11, still fuzzy on the vernacular, he took an interesting tack.
First he turned “Jang” into “John.” Then, he talked his family into adding an “e” to their last name. He was concerned, he said, about razzing and wanted to make sure it would be pronounced like the “do” in “tae kwon do” and not the “do” in “hairdo.”
He has been John Doe ever since.
Airport security grills him every time he flies. “I have to sit in the office,” he said. “Every time.” Landlords and election inspectors view him quizzically, and prospective dates need more than a little assurance that he’s not hiding a dark past.
Poor bastard.






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I actually worked with a gyopo here in Korea who was named John Doe (a grad of Carnegie Mellon). Actually, I think he spelled his surname Doh, which in retrospect wasn’t all that wise either.
How retarded are American landlords, women, and especially election or immigration officials if they give people grief over their names?
My father had a client once called ‘Mr. Halfhead’, A drum instructor at my Uni back home was called ‘Hassle’, I went to school with a guy with the surname of ‘Crap’, A piano teacher I know is unfortunately named ‘Richard Head’ (his parents must have been complete wankers), a close friend always get a laugh from the police if they pull him over because his surname is ‘Crook’.
Some people have odd, amusing or unusual names. It doesn’t mean they’re sinister or anything.
Yeah, I know a Pratt and a Crook…
@3 Yeah I forgot about Jonathan Pratt who I also went to school with! (not the famous deceased British artist).
Did we attend the same secondary school in the UK? I wonder…
I knew a Richard Staynes back in my Navy days. Even better was when he was an E-3 which is a Seaman in the Navy. Seaman Staynes.
I went to high school with a Shanda Lear.
I’ve seen all kinds of odd ones when I worked for the government. I once processed a change of name application for a young woman who had just gotten married. She hyphenated her maiden name with that of her husband. Her new name was Mrs. Stagg-Pardy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Dough
Went to an international friendship party once in Tokyo and met a group of Burmese refugees. One of whose name was Raa Men. It didn’t help that Burmese don’t use kanji and of course he had to write his nametag in katakana.
Sort of an urban myth (related to beers @5) there are some funny mythical names related to the classic kids’ show ‘Captain Pugwash’.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Pugwash
Pugwash
Seaman Staynes
Roger the Cabin Boy
Master Bates
Well at least this guy’s last name is not Kim, where you can then get (these are all people I know)
Tim Kim
Kim Kim
Bob Kim (flip it around Korean style)
So Young Kim
Well, the last one is sort of flattering, but I’m glad I wasn’t her. Especially now that she’s, heh-heh, (not) So Young Kim anymore.
t-song,
Dong Suk, Bum Suk, and Bong Suk are also unfortunate names in English.
Here’s a nice song about little Bobby’s best friend, a dog named Stains.
As is the name Ryu Suk.
Well we can’t forget any girl’s name that starts:
보지연, 보지영…~~~~
I always liked the name “Chang Namgeun.” It helps if you know hanja.
DLB
t_song, foreigners find that amusing but Koreans don’t confuse see a resemblence in the pronunciation.
John Doe is not as bad as this classic from 2006
Chinese immigrant named Fuk King Kwok
http://nl.newsbank.com/nl-search/we/Archives?p_product=CSTB&p_theme=cstb&p_action=search&p_maxdocs=200&p_topdoc=1&p_text_direct-0=10F2E2A9F25EAF10&p_field_direct-0=document_id&p_perpage=10&p_sort=YMD_date:D&s_trackval=GooglePM
There’s a restaurant in fort lee, nj named Mo Pho.
It’s got the best motherfuckin’ Pho around.
And there’s a girl from cali whose named “Kinky Ho”. Dude. That sucks.
http://www.classmates.com/directory/public/memberprofile/list.htm?regId=8708374201
There’s also a guy in Cali named Dick Swallows.
http://names.whitepages.com/Richard/Swallows
And who can forget this guy…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Assman
I worked with a guy whose legal name was Richard Seaman, naturally shortened to Dick. I wonder what the hell he had done to his parents…
Of course there’s always the classic Mike Hunt…spoken quickly
I worked for a short time with a man named Richard Dick. I’d kill my parents for that.
Don’t take that the wrong way.
A Korean-American friend of mine had the pleasure of working with a Chinese women whose surname was “Wang.” Her given name was “Bo-Ji.”
A met a US Army soldier whose surname was “Littlewhiteman.” She was American Indian. Not sure which tribe.
Almost forgot…I once met a Miss “Gang Bang Mi.” I told her if she ever goes to an English speaking country – be sure to never write her name Korean style with the family name first.
When the Won Buddists gave me a dharma name, it turned out to be one I would never use:
Won Young Ho.
#28m
Because socks don’t have dharmic names or because you never won a young ‘un?
Because socks are for kids, silly cactus.
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