Yonhap, quoting the Japanese press, reports that Pyongyang has told its overseas diplomats to wait for a “important announcement.”
This announcement is presumed to be about North Korean leader Kim Jong-il’s health.
The Yomiuri Shimbun, citing an anonymous source familiar with the North Korea issue, reported that the North Korean authorities have asked its diplomats not to travel and stay in one place.
The source also said North Korea would make a major announcement within the next couple of days, presumably about Kim’s health and intra-Korean relations.
About the report, a spokesman from South Korea’s National Intelligence Service said they’d heard the news, and were now trying to confirm it.
Marmot’s Note: Our source in North Korea, on condition of anonymity, has emailed us an advanced copy of the upcoming “major announcement,” which we post here:
Foreign Ministry, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea
18 October Juche 97 (2008)After serious consideration, the DPRK, while acknowledging Senator John McCain’s service to his country and truly impressed with the energy Gov. Sarah Palin has brought to the Republican ticket, is nevertheless persuaded by the sound arguments made by such conservative luminaries as Christopher Buckley and Christopher Hitchens as well as the Oct 15 edition of the Washington Post, and accordingly gives its endorsement to the junior senator from Illinois, Barack Obama.
Oh, and Lee Myung-bak is a fluckiest, pro-Japanese rat bastard who invites disaster by obstructing the Korean people’s ardent desire for independence and peaceful reunification.
{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
Isn’t it a bit late for April Fool’s Day, Robert?
Your source would be more believable if there were UFOs and fine cognac in the report.
P.S. North Korean students that study overseas have already been ordered home.
Anyone aware how often they issue such orders? I think I remember reading something similar about the days after the death of KIS….
If his demise is true it won’t have come soon enough.
I just hope the leader would just hurry up and croak and that a much younger leader would take his place. Someone who knows that a closed and secluded society is destined to a painful demise. I mean these are stupid idiots who thought that they could build a utopian society on this planet. (Sorry but that Star Trek fantasy is only for the movies.) So you can’t expect them to change over night. But at least somebody who can bring about change a little bit faster than the amoeba pace it is going at now.
You know what really makes me sick that there are fellow Koreans who think that unification is unnecessary and will bring about financial loss. Selfish bastards!! I guess South and North are unified in that they both have numerous people who are complete idiots.
I just pray that unification won’t end up as a dreamer’s pipedream.
(5.) “…fellow Koreans who think that unification is unnecessary and will bring about financial loss. Selfish bastards!!”
Unification *is* unnecessary – America spends enough propping up the half it’s in right now.
But you, Jewook, may personally bankroll the rebuilding of North Korea. Call the UN, they’ll give you the address.
The dear leader has received his advanced leaked copy of 007 “the Quantom of Solace”. He is alerting all cadres to return to Pyongyang for a screening.
Ding dong the prick is dead, now onto the future …
The timing of a North Korean collapse, if one results from the death of Kim Jong Il, could not be worse — the international financial capacity is exhausted, and the South Korean taxpayer (me) will have enough on his plate soon enough.
Kim Jong Il’s death may bring a change of policy from the new leadership, but I doubt that the regime will crumble. There are two powerful institutions capable of ruling and interested in self preservation – the Worker’s Party and the military – in addition to the Kim family. The military is considered to be powerful, and we might see rule by a junta, that’s what I’d bet on.
Of course the important announcement from Pyongyang might just be the resumption of hostilities with the South – what better time?
NK Commies will tell the truth that KJI had died five years ago when the train exploded at the border. The Chinese were not happy with KJI’s behavior on that trip when he did not bring enough of his Kippumjo (harem) to share.
Three doubles have been used since.
From now on, military Junta composed of old military generals will take control of NK.
And, yes, they still believe in Communism. And, yes, they are happy to be a part of the Great Chinese Empire.
The same ol’, same ol’.
My sources tell me the big announcement is Kim Jong-il will be introducing the Western Bacon Gogigyeopbbang and Juche Fries combo.
NK’s collapse might not affect the South much since China will most likely take it over — NK’s minerals and maintaining a buffer zone with SK are big motivators to that end.
#6 lupin_the_4th
Spoken like a true non Korean.
For PRACTICAL PURPOSES unification can be viewed as unnecessary. But South Korea is too small, we need more land mass to be a more powerful country so our President won’t have to kiss American ass so often.
And why don’t you think of it this way? What if your country all of a sudden got split in half. And that your family got separated and there was no hope for you to ever meet. Would you still think the unification of your country is unnecessary even if it was impractical and inefficient?
Yes the US spends a lot of money on the North. To support them and also keeping them in check. They also spend a lot of money in the South to keep up American military forces. That is a lot of cash to cough up.
But if we were unified the costly American military presence would be unnecessary and no money would be spent on keeping control of the threat of the North. With the borders open thousands of the Southerners will hoard their way north to buy budongsan(real estate) while it’s cheap. You know how crazy Koreans are about budongsan. Once they get their hands on land there’re not gonna sit on their asses. Park Jung Hee did a too thorough job of brainwashing us with “bbal-lee bbal-lee” (FTL economic development) mentality. We’ll be busy developing our “My precious” budongsan.
Even if the US doesn’t give up much money, much more of the South’s money will naturally flow northward. In the long run it will be a lot cheaper for the US if we do unify. Of course American war factories will face a recession, but who give a crap about them.
#14 Jewook:
Well said. Ignore the cynicism of #6.
Huh? Which part? Is it emotional? Is it to save “Korean Pride”? Is it a potential power grab? Is it economical? Is it for real estate speculation?
14 had no coherency at all. Please let me know what was well said.
“The timing of a North Korean collapse, if one results from the death of Kim Jong Il, could not be worse — the international financial capacity is exhausted, and the South Korean taxpayer (me) will have enough on his plate soon enough.”
Yes, and that’s why I’m convinced that NK is just trying to stir things up (regardless of whether he died in August or not). Just a couple of days ago it threatened to break ties with South Korea (no doubt trying to further harm the South Korean economy).
And millions down South to beg for food.
BREAKING NEWS!!!
KJI announces that he is the REAL Joe the Plumber.
#18
I know we are going to run into many problems, economical, cultural and much more. But I think there are enough “ahjuma”s to get things back on track.
Sounds reasonable, if KJI is really dead.
Sound ridiculous. Jewook, you need to read more baduk.
(14. Jewook) “But if we were unified…”
Korea won’t be unified in a meaningful way until they end their feudal-era disagreement over culture. The USA/UN stopped the Koreans from being “unified” in the 50s… and the Koreans have been in arrested development since then.
It’s wonderful that you think the North and South will join in a “unified” version of American freedom… but history shows otherwise. The North didn’t want a democratic society, and the North had the South conquered – before the US Marine Corps showed up.
Korea, as a whole, wants to be an isolated Stalinist (or whatever it may be called) state. Unification won’t bring happiness, Jewook. Not unless some adults from the outside world provide physical security and force American culture on the country.
When Korea gets another chance to really decide what kind of country/culture they will be, my bet is that it will be like North Korea, under the guidance of Uncle Joe.
I wish it wasn’t so, but that’s what history shows.
“Korea, as a whole, wants to be an isolated Stalinist (or whatever it may be called) state.”
You are hilarious. This statement really shows how little you know about Korea. Excuse me but South Korea is a democracy. How can you say anything educated about Korea without even knowing the most basic information. South Koreans now would never put up with a Stalinist or communist state.
October surprise!
Tomorrow should be fun.
(23.) “…South Korea is a democracy.”
Barely. And only because the USA is there. Take out the USA and South Korea would be the feudal mess it was whenever a neighboring country wasn’t running it.
As soon as the Socialist President Roh was out, the hippies were in the street biting the hand that feeds them. People angry/stupid enough to protest the USA in that fashion will rush into the arms of a leader who will quickly turn the country into the north.
(23.) “…South Koreans now would never put up with a Stalinist or communist state.”
Most Cambodians wouldn’t put up with Pol Pot’s regime. And Ugandans would refuse to accept rule under Idi Amin. Proud Russians would surely never accept the rule of a vicious leader such as Stalin.
The “useful idiots” don’t realize they’ve been had until it’s too late. So the next time the Korean kiddies have a protest, you should pray they don’t have a chance to vote themselves in a real bad guy as leader.
Just as long as it’s not a dead bigfoot in a freezer…
Lupan
Man, I guess we a bunch of infantile idiots who don’t know how to fight for our rights.
Regardless of what you think we don’t need to big brother the US to hold our dicks when we pee any more, so would you please let go of your vice grip.
Of course you haven’t lived here for the past twenty and haven’t seen things as they slowly but surely developed.
And not all of us are anti American. And some of us show a great interest US culture, fashion and entertainment. I grew up in the States and came back when I was fourteen, and I’m awfully glad I got to experience both worlds up close.
I wonder if you have visited Korea lately before you have past judgment on us all?
Lupin (sorry for misspelling your ID earlier)
I wanted to add that many are grateful for the US for helping us. We have come a long way because of this. However the US gov hasn’t always been altruistic in their aid. And that is why there is some resentment towards them.
#29: So, care to name an instance of unaltruistic aid from the U.S. government?
The War on Drugs, as it pertains to US activities south of the border, in Mexico, Columbia, Peru…
come to think of it, perhaps just about anything the US has done in Latin America…? Haven’t thought that fully through, but a lot of the Cold War ‘aid’ was really just keeping dictators going as a bulwark against strengthening domestic Communist parties, wasn’t it?
(29.) “…the US gov hasn’t always been altruistic in their aid…”
The USA is never altruistic in it’s aid. The fact that you imagined that was part of what I said is indication that you should read more carefully.
As for Korea, the USA is only there to keep the neighborhood safe for Japan. If the USA wanted to truly “occupy” the space, the USA would have rebuilt it in the same manner it did in Japan.
(29.) “And not all of us are anti American.”
Unfortunately, not enough. Which is my first point which you mis-read. The “useful idiots” in Korea are awfully close to bringing a halt to the improvements Korea has made. And when the situation goes to crap, they will wonder why antagonizing everyone they dealt with led to the country falling to shambles.
I wish it weren’t so, but that’s what I see.
(29.) “I wonder if you have visited Korea lately before you have past judgment on us all?”
I just left. Over 2 years in Korea. Despite what you might guess otherwise, I miss parts of Korea. I miss my good friends there, too. A lot.
And it’s not a judgement on “you all”… it’s a judgement on “many of you all”. But the exceptions are sadly just that – exceptions.
Where’s the big announcement? How could North Korea get us all excited about an announcement and not follow through? Just totally ruins my image of the place..
Seriously, though, this could indicate some dissension or conflict within the top ranks. Something must be going on… I wonder what.
Kim Jong-il has supposedly made an appearance for the first time in two months:
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=10293927&ch=4226714&src=news
There are already too many S. Koreans jumping out of windows, hanging themselves in their bathrooms, setting fire to their apartments and murdering their neighbors/lovers and families.
What makes you think Koreans want the added pressure/economic burden/competion, unification will surely bring ?
Perhaps the older generation wishes the north and south could come together, but I don’t thing the younger generation, sitting in their parents basement playing video games, waiting for their dream job to become available, shares their sympathies.
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