You Know, You Can Almost Admire It

Sometimes, you’ve really got to give credit to the North Koreans:

North Korea said Thursday that it would cut off all inter-Korean ties unless the conservative South Korean government withdraws its “hostile policy” towards Pyongyang.

“If the group of traitors keeps to the road of reckless confrontation with the DPRK (North Korea), defaming its dignity despite its repeated warnings, this will compel it to make a crucial decision including the total freeze of the North-South relations,” the Rodong Sinmun, published by the North’s ruling Workers’ Party, in an English-version commentary carried by its official news agency.

The warnings, the strongest in recent months, came amid expectations that its relations with the United States may improve following its removal from the list of state sponsors of terrorism last weekend.

Just read the original Korean version at the KCNA. I want the last five minutes of my life back.

With relations with the United States set to improve, why not start fucking with the South Koreans? Pyongyang is no doubt thinking with the US now where the North Koreans want them — politically invested in a relationship with North Korea — the Americans will pressure Seoul to get in line. At the very least, the Bush administration can be counted on to look the other way while North Korea tries to undermine Lee Myung-bak.

Or to put this another way, Cheong Wa Dae is about to get anally sodomized by both the North Koreans AND Americans. And Pyongyang gets to keep the never-ending crisis going… at least until it gets paid.

Ch-ching!

The one thing that gives me comfort — yet at the same time scares the living shit out of me — is that as the North Koreans replay Daehan Empire diplomacy — playing the barbarians off of one another in an effort to keep their corrupt little thugocracy alive — they’ll make the same mistakes one day, and someone — be it the US, China, South Korea or Japan — will put them out of their misery.