From a Korea Beat post on a Korean tabloid story giving tips on anal sex .
The author speculates that westerners enjoy anal sex more than Koreans do because Korean mens’ extra-hard penises are not well-suited for rear entry,…
Westerners might be bigger, but apparently Koreans are harder. The Korean has posted a full translation of the article in the comment thread.
51 Comments
Could someone pretty please translate that whole article?
Oh jeez. I’m not going near this one with my ten-inch. . . I mean, with a ten foot pole.
Holy jeezus!
I have heard that B.S. line that
“Western guys may be bigger, but Korean guys are harder!” a few times in this country.
Of course, I always
laugh out loud at the silliness of it!
You’d think with Koreans enjoyment of poop gags and “dong chim” that they would be more open to the idea of “playing the back 9″!*
*in the official rules of bedroom golf, one must receive permission before attempting to play the back 9. Surprise attempts can result in suspension of play.
I won’t translate the whole article, but it cites a statistic from a survey of Playboy’s readership in which 47% of men and 61% of women thought anal sex was okay. It shocks me that more women approve than men. Even the front door needs a little help *wink, wink*, and I can’t possibly imagine how the back door would be enjoyable. If there were a G-spot in there, we ladies would scream with delight every time we passed a stool, and that certainly doesn’t happen.
thanks Sonagi
for whatever reason, there is Greek and Roman art depicting men doing boys, but these men were noted to do adult women, too. Haven’t found such art in China and eastward.
observation.
for whatever reason, gays in the “yellow” race are most prevalent and most socially accepted in south east asia and the southern pacific isles.
observation.
for whatever reason, HIV infection is highest in Men who have sex with Men and people of African ancestry.
observation.
Versus other races, people of African ancestry believe in a higher % that
“white men created HIV in a lab to kill of black people.”
observation.
now, I only examined flaccid penises of various races, I have no way to confirm the above statement. It would be easiest to ask a female who has done both.
rationalization.
or we could all ask our ummas if she ever took it in the butt, and tally up the totals.
I will not ask, but I encourage other gyopos to do so.
how many women “read” playboy?
obviously, degenrate women.
the only conclusion is that even in the west, anal sex is not mainstream.
what man would actually want shit on his penis?
“now, I only examined flaccid penises of various races, I have no way to confirm the above statement. It would be easiest to ask a female who has done both.”
This myth does not result from experience but from rationalization. It has been around as long as the stories about Western size have circulated as a defensive counter-argument. Westerners may emphasize size but Easterners emphasize stamina.
“the only conclusion is that even in the west, anal sex is not mainstream. what man would actually want shit on his penis?”
I spoke to a Greek lady who told me that she believed this practice has spread in Greece because Greek society is extremely patriarchial and men won’t marry non-virgins.
In a way, offering your bum is a veiled insult, isn’t it?
Wow. Thanks for that chuckle there. From androphile.org:
There are also some pretty interesting paintings there. I’m sure a connoisseur of porn like yourself will get lots of mileage out of them.
Scads of gay art in Japan too… but we already know that they’re all pervs, right?
Very well, I will do the honors, only because I will be laughing the whole time I translate… But that newspaper seems to be about that quality. (Internet equivalent of supermarket tabloids. There better not be “OHMYGODLOOKATTHEQUALITYOFKOREANNEWSPAPERS” discussion.)
The Korean’s comments in brackets. Don’t expect to find this on my blog. The Korean runs a pg-13 blog, for god’s sake.
well, then it seems the Koreans are clean indeed.
obviously, i’m not a porn expert, not being aware of such things.
ain’t that so, Zonath?
there’s no question that the Japanese are the pervs of Asia.
there’s also no question that the transexuals, homosexuals, etc are pretty much more prevalent and accepted in southeast asia.
I want to ask the porn expert, Zonath, about the verity of this.
I wasn’t even aware of androphile.org.
Zonath, educate us with your porn expertise.
Can’t wait for next week’s articles about the Cleveland steamer and the dirty Sanchez.
One wonders what the Koreans will cite to trump those.
Mohs scale?
well, the Cleveland steamer and the Dirty Sanchez should be described in graphic detail to any Korean father in law or mother in law, when a foreign guy in Korea meets their girlfriend’s parents for the first time.
clearly state, that you also like anal sex.
have a friend videotape the scene from a far, and please post it here.
or, to increase xenophobia in Korea, release an instructional video of it to KBS, MBC, SBS.
don’t think of it as simply entertaining me, think of it as expanding your freedom of expression in a more “repressed” society.
what an idiot.
I didn’t even know what the terms meant.
Zonath, our porno expert, do you have any more vile things to teach us about?
Thanks for the second chuckle there. I seem to remember an old comment here on how sexual relations with young boys was commonplace in Korea back in Chosun times…
All my expertise comes through Google, which makes it a piece of cake to call you on your bullshit. I don’t do it every post, because heck… even Google isn’t that powerful.
Seriously though, you seem to know enough about sexual deviancy not to need my help suggesting any search terms. I bow before the master.
no, no, no. You are the master of sexual deviancy.
I had no idea that the there were Korean sex boy slaves in Chosun !
I sort of already knew you would deny the crown.
but, there’s no question you know much more about these matters than the average human being. May the others judge for themselves.
I’m sure they will. Not that it should be a hard choice for them, what with your constant and utter fixation on Japanese porn (and now SE Asian transsexuals). Thanks for playing, though.
a half hour browsing “urbandictionary.com” would be enough for anybody to be able to talk like a deviant.
I just love how a lot of the sexually deviant acts are named after a city or a location(Cincinnati bowtie, Manhattan transfer, Alabama hot pocket, Boston pancake, Birmingham booty call, etc.). And before wjk gets any ideas, I learned all of them from the extra features of 40 Year Old Virgin and The Aristocrats DVD.
My personal favorite term is “the santorum”, considering the story behind the word’s relatively new definition.
wjk wrote:
Somehow I just knew you would be unable to resist making several long comments on this thread.
be a man, and jot down your penis size for all the world to see, dogbertt.
Don’t back out.
I’ll assume you’re a woman, otherwise.
And what’s wrong with being a woman, you pitifully hung misogynist?
I for one am 100% for all pretty girls being 100% pro-bum-secks.
so, dogbertt is a she-male. QED.
Which means wjk is limited to what’s euphemistically called “solo sex”.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
@22 no doubt, I knew who the biggest commenter on this post would be too. I’m just glad we didn’t have to hear (read) any of wjk’s measurements this time.
yet.
I would have to say that Korean men’s penises are NOT extra hard, just the same as other penises. However, I will say that the bigger the penis, the more blood is needed to make it hard - which can sometimes lead to a lees than hard erection. Trust me.
sorry *less than hard
The Korean –
Why did you leave out so many articles/possessive pronouns in your English translation? You made it sound more silly-Asian on purpose, didn’t you??
[Instantly elevating the quality of discussion by making up a quote from Aristotle! This article can be nothing else but high-brow.]
At least it’s a good fake quote. As arbitrary as most of the guy’s real “definitions”, outside of formal logic.
Wouldn’t that just make the guys with bigger penises slightly more anemic?
yes, sometimes we damn near pass out.
I welcome this new debate. The centering of the discourse about penis quality around determination of length (and sometimes width) is a form of Orientalist oppression that is sub-conciously part of a Western endeavor to keep competitive Asian genetic material out of the genepool. By returning discussion about penis quality to its rightful place of hardness we can help to liberate the Asian male. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying Asian males have shorter penises (peni?), just that hardness is a more appropriate determinate of penis quality in a post-colonial world.
This subtle form of imperialist subjugation has left modern English with a language bereft of aequate terms for discussing penis hardness. For example we are forced to talk in terms of relativity to vegetables, or analysis that is subjective and can be just as littered with ethnic bias.
Pesonally, mine is hard enough to break through cold Philadelphia Cheese, or to use as a reel to wind on 10 pound fishing line. While its nowhere near hard enough to cut glass or cause concussion when hitting someone over the head with it, it is hard. In fact, very hard, and I would argue that it is as hard as that of any ‘other’.
@31,
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I take pride in the professionalism and quality of my translations. Please give me some examples where I could have done better and I would be happy to discuss. But accuse the Korean of making “silly-Asian” on purpose? Perish the thought.
@ Sonagi
“we ladies would scream with delight every time we passed a stool, and that certainly doesn’t happen.”
ROTFLMAO !
Best quote of the week !
fo shizzle!
TK:
Sorry, man, just seems different from the English I’ve come to know from your blog…. actually, on second reading, you didn’t miss “most”, so I guess your English skill made me apply a high standard. What stood out is stuff like:
“Unlike [the] vagina, [the] anus never excretes liquid”
“If [the/your] hand, inserted in [the] anus, accidentally gets into [the/your] mouth”
“using [a] feminine condom”
This is actually one of my specific research areas, so I truly appreciate the complexity. Honestly, those passages did sound more humorously East Asian than your blog usually does, though.
I’ll be sure to leave you a comment in Korean some time so you can trash me…
@38,
Point taken. It was kind of a rush job — it definitely should not be compared to what goes up on Ask a Korean!, which I try to edit a few times before putting up.
It’s OK, teh Korean. Everbdoy makse misstakess ometmies.
It appears that there is as much insecurity regarding hardness in Korea as there is regarding size in the West.
Given the Korean obsession with “stamina” and proliferation of foods and supplements said to maintain said “stamina”, it would appear that this touted Korean hardness is less than claimed. In fact, the copious consumption of alcohol would suggest that the logic behind the superior Korean hardness argument is rather flacid.
“Unlike [the] vagina, [the] anus never excretes liquid”
That depends on how hard it is rammed. Of course, for a firsthand account, you’ll have to ask anansaram.
jean: “While its nowhere near hard enough to cut glass or cause concussion when hitting someone over the head with it, it is hard.”
You might want to consider diamond piercings.
funkoffan: “However, I will say that the bigger the penis, the more blood is needed to make it hard - which can sometimes lead to a lees than hard erection. Trust me.”
That all depends on his cardiovascular condition. The Korean edition of Cosmo recently ran an article suggesting ways to assess a guy’s cardiocascular health before bedding him:
1. take his pulse while pretending to admire his watch;
2. “accidentally” cut him with your steaknife and then carefully observe how profusely he bleeds;
3. shout “fire” to see whether he gets dizzy when standing up quickly;
4. have him to run the treadmill with the pulse monitor hooked up to his penis;
5 leave him alone with your dog and watch him through the peephole.
“Unlike [the] vagina, [the] anus never excretes liquid”
Well….
ewwww…
@45,
your handle just took an entirely new meaning. I guess you would know if you excrete liquid or not.
Hahaha… should’ve seen that coming. But wait, are you telling me you never went to a Mexican fast food place (sans Taco Bell)?
Koreans never use credit cards or take out loans, they pay for
everything with cash.
the lady above is unconsciously confirming the flaccid erection problem in some young white men, although I never ran into such a complaint.
i have heard of this problem majorly, mostly from old men, past 40s.
it usually goes along the line of, “i can get it up, but it’s not hard enough.”
but, I hesitate to confirm the Korean claim. Have only seen literally a handful of Korean men with their pants down. It would be unscientific.
the cosmo survey that Mizar5 is referring to doesn’t even need to be performed. If the guy is under 35, I doubt any of the tests are positive. The survey is probably done and found positive for 40 year old men who think they are George Clooney, whom I sort of suspect is infertile. That’s besides the point. I might be wrong. He might have fathered someone.
up above, hypotensive by a far stretch, but not possibly anemic. And probably not for cmm.
by the way, sickle cell disease and priapism is an interesting combo. So much for the long dong.
How come no-one’s commented on the cartoon associated with the original article? It’s fairly fascinating, and much more worthy of attention.
Why is it that it portrays a western woman going doggy and thereby attacking a seemingly Asian man with AIDS?
Granted, her expression is one of suprise, suggesting a lack of intent to infect, but still, does it suggest that the respsonsibility (and/or blame) for the spread of such diseases rests with westerners, women, or western women who in such ways corrupt ‘innocent’ or ‘pure’ Asian men?
say what you want, but AIDs was not first found in East Asia.
It was first documented somewhere between the triangle of Africa, America, and Europe.
due to many factors, it was not contained, and it is now prevalent in Thailand to the level of the govt officially stealing copyrights and producing generic aids drugs.
look it up, if you doubt.