The running joke of Chinese cyberland continues, with a Chinese portal site running another fictional report — this time citing an imaginary Chosun Ilbo report — in which Koreans claim American swimmer Michael Phelps as one of their own.
Well, I guess the Chinese find it funny…
(HT to reader)
77 Comments
First!
It’s just a sick and humorless joke. I’ll be extremely surprised if someone takes it serious and it’s not even funny. Damn, clowns are everywhere.
Don’t feed the trolls and don’t fan hatred.
Well, the spoof article kind of has a point. In my own diss research, Lee Eo-ryeong, Korea’s former Minister of Culture and organizer of the 1988 Seoul Olympics, claimed that very thing: that people from Chejudo and Manchuria, all the way to the southern tip of South America, were Korean.
That’s because the Great Northern Asian Race (his idea, for real) completed the “Great Journey” out of Africa to Europe, when people became white, apparently, continuing on to Asia, where mankind basically reached the pinnacle of its evolution, as marked by great men like Genghis Khan.
This journey continued over the Bering Strait land bridge, making all Native peoples somehow continuously Northern Asian Race/Korean.
And since us North Americans are as mixed as can be when you bother to look, I guess we’re all Korean.
Basically, the Chinese spoof report comically exaggerates an extreme strain of nationalistic thinking that isn’t actually too far from the ridiculous story cited in that article.
This comes from a book Lee wrote for kids in the 90’s (out of print, as far as I can tell, now, since it’s fucking looney tunes and probably not acceptable in these more reasonable, post-danil minjok times) called ‘엄마, 난 한국인 맞아?’
Roughly translated, it means ‘Mommy, I’m Korean, right?’
Is writing “First!” on a thread considered some sort of super Beaver Cleaver look-at-me achievement or is it a double- or triple-thought out sarcastic slacker remark?
Yeah, actually, his original name was Min Chan Park, but then he changed it after the 성형수술.
#4 Wedge
You’d think Metro would be above that since he has his own blog. Besides, it’s only funny when dogbert does it on the open threads.
Maybe he’s joining the GNAA.
Well gaw lee…!
I always knew he was Korean… obviously 1/4 on his mother’s side.
Now Phelps has all the money in the world and can take care of mom just like Hines Ward does!
It has been a long time since I was a wrestler in high school, but I think this is an illegal hold.
Michael Phelps is actually the long-lost twin brother of Taehwan Park; due to the tragic accident that separated them right after birth, they never realized they were brothers… until they met each other during the Olympics 400m Freestyle final. Now, the two brothers must choose between their forgotten brotherhood… and the gold medal…
gbevers, link is broken… or the site that had the picture had a massive fubar moment.
#10 - If you save the linked file with a jpg extension, it should display just fine. Not that you should. Nobody should have to see what’s in that picture. It’s scarred me for life.
That’s pretty weak sauce to scar you for life. You have obviously never seen “tub girl” or “mr hands”.
It’s not just the Chinese and Metropolitician who believe this nonsense. Taiwanese also believe it, and this is leading to diplomatic conflicts.
http://news.chosun.com/site/da.....01190.html
This guy totally scooped everyone on Phelps’ Koreanness. . . but I think he was being satirical.
Of course it’s funny. Koreans claim to have invented everything, from Kendo to Tea Ceremony, so why wouldn’t they try to say that Phelps is Korean? There is a lot of k-logic there.
Just reminds me that movie “Mi big fat greek weding” (or such), where the guy used to say that every word came from greek…
Just for words for you, “One world, one dream.”
So, yeah, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t thrown stones.
Correction: ‘four’, not fucking ‘for’.
#13 Did you even read my comment, or are you just stupid?
# 15,
Still… you have to give the greeks their due… they were the father’s of Western Civilization.
Much han due to their occupation by the Turks…
Also @ 15,
Kendo no. Tea Ceremony not quite no. At the very least, the major utensils for the tea ceremony (particularly the ceramic cups) are Korean or Korean influenced.
#19,
Yes, which is why most European words are Greek and most of those that aren’t are probably just Roman interpretations of Greek words.
#18,
Let me speak for all the other readers when I say, “I’m disappointed. I had expected to see a more eloquent comeback from you.”
#20,
Most Koreans and an increasing number of Chinese prefer drinking coffee…so arguing over who invented the tea ceremony is more than a simple waste of time.
@22: Certainly something longer, if not eloquent.
@ 21,
Yeah… ppl always talk about how 60% of Korean vocabularity are really Chinese words without knowing that most Western European languages are 40 to 60% greek and roman vocabulary.
#21
This person did talk about both languages having lots of loan words, but I think that, in the case of the Peninsular Han, their Koreaness is expressed most spectacularly with pure Korean words. Certainly those words contained the sounds that I had the most difficult time pronouncing correctly. You know, the ones where you sound like you’re somewhat throwing up?
Ah yes… as opposed to the original English words that also sound like you are throwing up…
I’m pretty sure that most people who know that 60% of Korean vocabulary is Chinese derived also mastered Latin and Greek roots, prefixes, and suffixes in middle and high school English and discovered a treasure trove of shared cognates in Spanish or French class.
@ #26 again…
Ever read “The Canterbury Tales” in the original Middle English?
I felt like I was strangling while reading it…
Saved my ass in almost every other French exam.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Koreans experimenting with ‘pure’ Korean words - as long as they don’t go out of their way to, uh, EXTERMINATE THE FILTHY FOREIGN PRESENCE IN OUR HOLY AND PURE LANGUAGE…
I also found it interesting that quite a number of Korean words also come from Sanskrit like 찰나, 아수라장, and 탑. I’m guessing they came along with Buddhism through China?
@#29
Haha, ever heard a parisien describe how a québécois speak?
#22 It may not be him but an impersonator.
You don’t have to go all the way back to Beowulf to use only “English” rooted words….see how I did it now.
Anyhow, what’s the merit of claiming to have invented the “tea ceremony”? All you do there is sit on a tatami and drink bitter tea with all the tremendous formalities you got to follow. In the end, you get leg cramps.
#27 & #29,
Yes, had them read to me in the Olde English, too, by a fellow who spoke it and both were nearly incomprehensible.
Mind you, in my pursuit of speaking Korean I tried to duplicate those sounds but the yangnome in me prevented that.
#31,
Yes, I have a French friend here in BC who constantly bemoans the French spoken in La Belle Province. When I pointed out to him that it’s the same (or nearly so) with England/Australia, he said ‘Non’ and shrugged his way to the bar.
#33,
You’re not then completely enraptured with the mysteries of the East then, are you?
#29,
I have. It was Chinese to me.
#30,
“Saved my ass in almost every other French exam. :-D”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Norman_language
…not to mention the negative connotation given to words of Anglo-Saxon words and the positive connotation given to their French synonyms (such as ‘ox’ for the less desirable cuts of cow’s meat and ‘beef’ for the more desirable ones).
“Yes, I have a French friend here in BC who constantly bemoans the French spoken in La Belle Province.”
Right…Next time he bitches, mention ‘Joual’.
Despite all these fake news, notice there is no reaction from the ROK establishment/government over these nonsenses even after Taiwan’s official response…
As far as I know, Korean nationalism is the origin of these nonsenses. I like to say it begun forty years ago when Gen. Okamoto/Park took power and then accelerated right after the 88 Seoul Olympic and so forth. Systemtic de-silization by educating their population with egotistic idea of HAN minjok that ruled north Asia area thus northeast China is “lost” territory, Baekdu mountain is rightfully Korean that China occupied it. Korea implemented social policy of marginalizing the use of Hanja despite its strong ties to Korean culture, got rid of Lunar New Year as holiday which eventually was reinstated as “traditional” holiday etc.
In relationship with greater China and Chinese back then, PRC was commie enemy. Chinese Koreans 화교 was considered left over/refugee of KMT and no one gives a damn as long as they are not a threat to the economy (Gen Park took all their money anyway) and its very own Korean Chinese 조선족 are considered just another “Chinese” or part of NORKs.
Before the internet, no one gave a damn what Korean did within their country but things changed when Korea yielded its soft power via Korean wave… ROK government is so proud of Korean wave but probably did not anticipate greater Chinese to look closely at the ugly nationalism that made expense of past history. So greater Chinese communities reacted and with urging and encouragement of CCP, anti-Korean campaign has been spreading like wild fire.
Would image conscious ROK establishment take action soon? Why wouldn’t they? Could it be that they are afraid of opening Pandora’s box?
Remains to be seen..
As far as I know, Korean nationalism is the origin of these nonsenses.
Regarding Koguryo… Koreans have thought it was theirs since at least 12th century AD with the compilation of the Samguk Sagi… Park Chung Hee didn’t invent it.
It was bound to happen given the omnipresence of Korean products in China and the CCP’s nationalistic propaganda leading to the Beijing Games.
#22 — Not everything that needs to be said needs to be detailed, especially when dealing with people just being dumb.
#24 — Happy to disappoint.
#32 — Thanks for giving the benefit of the doubt, but that was really me. Only two conclusions, though: to think that I was actually advocating the position I was criticizing meant cm either didn’t read, or didn’t understand. Either way, not much to explain on my end.
Chaucer - 600 years ago, barely the same language, what was Korean like 600 years ago?
“not to mention the negative connotation given to words of Anglo-Saxon”
Not sure they should be classed as negative connotations, the main difference was the landed class Norman French that ate the animal generally used the Norman French term for the meat whilst the lower class Anglo-Saxon farmers continued to use the older terms for the animal itself, not a negative connotation per se.
Cow/Ox - Beef
Pig - Pork etc
“I’m pretty sure that most people who know that 60% of Korean vocabulary is Chinese derived, also mastered Latin and Greek roots, prefixes, and suffixes in middle and high school English and discovered a treasure trove of shared cognates in Spanish or French class.”
That’s certainly pretty Greek to me, we mostly grow up knowing English in the UK, what’s all this about roots and cognates?
#40,
Don’t know if I’m convinced…but you can bet I’ll bring up that comment next time you start waiving your credentials around.
#42,
It has now. Beef is used for the prime cuts. Ox is used, well…for the tail and the sometimes the blood. I think you’ll agree that there probably aren’t many restaurants serving ox tail and blood sausage in English speaking countries.
#43,
Here’s a little etymological fact that shows how Romans cheapened elements of Greek culture that they tried to emulate.
symposium…You all know what it means. Well, ’symposion’ in Greek originally meant ‘a gathering of the educated’. In Rome, a ’symposium’ was no-longer a meeting of the minds but rather a drunken orgy with hookers.
So, next time you’re invited to a symposium, ask if there will be entertainment afterwards.
Well, that explains what happened last time when the biology department held an undergraduate research symposium
I have a symposium on brain death and organ harvesting tomorrow. I may skip that one.
Since I’m on a roll.
One of my favorite Latin words: exuberant(exuberare).
When a Roman Legionnaire marched into France and said to his buddy, “Hey, these Gaul ladies have very exuberant personalities”, he actually meant, “Check out the tits on these Gaul chicks”. Ex+uber as in ‘abundant+udder’.
Brings to mind some interesting images when I think of expressions like ‘exuberant personality’ and ‘exuberant praise’.
PS. I’d say the Korean national assembly building is ‘exuberant architecture’.
…the last one being true literally and figuratively.
Seems the Chosun and perhaps others are treating the Phelps parody as a serious news report:
http://english.chosun.com/w21d.....00023.html
And then there’s this pot-meet-kettle moment from a Chosun editorial:
One of the reason why people are wary of or hostile to China in proportion to its rising status through the Olympics is the unsophisticated behavior of the audiences, biased judging, and the attitude of the press fanning them. http://english.chosun.com/w21d.....10027.html
(Despite the Swedish flag that pops up here, I’m writing from the Beijing Games and I was also at the 2002 World Cup in Korea. With all due respect and in impartial, third-party honesty, the Korean crowds were more boorish overall, and particularly toward Americans, that the Chinese are here in Beijing.)
oops — THAN the Chinese are here in Beijing.
I think the editorial was concerning itself more with the archery competition than the general behavior of the Chinese spectators. And they were being dicks enough for even the NBC commentator to talk about it, not to mention the announcer on site calling for ‘respectful sportsmanship conduct from the audience’ repeatedly.
# can’t say I heard of restaurants calling an item on the menu “beef tail and blood sausage either”. Never heard of an ox-tail sausage, normal parlance in UK is simple “beef sausage”, which considering the meat inside rather goes against your argument that ox is used for the poorer cuts. Ox-tail soup, and Ox-tongue however are from time to time seen on the menu in relatively posh restaurants.
can anyone show me the original chinese link? i couldn’t find it anywhere in the chinese website (yet). could this be a joke started by chosun itseld?
u know, parody of a parody of a parody….
Yep, I missed archery and heard it was bad.
China’s state media and officials admonished crowds for cheering at the wrong time in tennis, too, and not just at Chinese matches. The biggest problem I’ve seen with Chinese crowds is simply deafening volume and (not necessarily deliberate) poor timing with cheers, at sports they don’t understand. In womens handball, where Korean handily beat China, Chinese crowds only cheered loudly when China had the ball — drowning out Chinese signal calling and potentially hurting their own team. (I heard plenty of Pilsung Korea and Dae Han Min Kook at that match, too, sometimes cleverly timed to dovetail with the Chinese Jiayou chant.)
My larger point is that it takes serious chutzpah for a Korean media outlet to criticize anyone for unbalanced, jingoistic reporting. Chinese media can (sadly) only ever really report one side of the story in most critical issues under current political conditions, but Korean media have no such excuse.
And it must be borne in mind that even in the VIP sections at the 2002 World Cup, Korean crowds booed the Ameican team during every minute of their possession — and they were egged on by inflammatory and unbalanced Korean media reporting about the Apollo Ohno row.
Was “Dae~ Han Min Gook!” new chant invention at 2002, or has it been used before? I’m trying to figure out whether the Korean spectators at the Olympics are being traditionalist or just lazy as hell.
Haha, I could tell the Chinese spectators at the handball matches had no idea how the game is played - the sport is counter-intuitively rough.
And, yeah, no qualm with the bigger picture. It’s like Chinese newspaper criticizing Saudi Arabia for lack of freedom of speech.
dhmg, I believe was made in the late 90s or a bit later for international football games, and with the success in 2002, it was applied to any international match, including WBClassic, now Olympics.
natives believe that the 4 words have magical power by now, although in international team sport competitions so far, it has only yielded a 4th place finish at best.
it’s a fucking cool invention.
ROK Olympics baseball has been undefeated, so far. Ridiculously, they have to re-defeat both Japan and the US to claim glory gold. This is part of the reason why, I think, baseball is being outsted from the Olympics. Regardless of the year, plus or minus Taiwan, 1,2,3 is pre-determined, and there are so few competing nations.
Hopefully, ROK will sink Japan, and whoever’s left on the road to victory.
if and only if the MLB frees up pros, the French guy may or may not accept the sport after the London games.
wjk, MLB will never free up pro’s as it is not ready for mass drug testing of it’s professional athlete’s. My north american friend tells me I don’t understand North American sport and that they don’t need the exposure of the olympics, and that is why the MLB won’t release it’s players. Which is pretty much shown to be bullshit by how hard they are doing the Dream team PR and as with EPL and Primera Liga, most of the cash comes from sales of baseball caps and shirts arounmd the world.
#52,
Why can’t archers block out the noise when gymnasts, badminton and tennis players (who often share the floor and the courts with other athletes and events) manage to do so?
It’s true some Chinese spectators don’t now rules too much and some are not well behaved, but overall they are quite decent.
.Talking about archery, we need to hear both sides of the story, in the match of China’s Zhang won over Korea’s Park in the final, people said about half of the crowd were from Korean, you know because archery is huge in Koear, and Korean crowd were even bigger and louder than Chinese crowd. The Chinese crowd was well behaved in the archery field.
Ironically, Zhang scored a poor score 7 because of flashes from someone in the crowd.
Guess you could watch it again sometimes and judge it for yourself.
Sorry about some ugly spell errors above.
Dude, if nbc commentators (who don’t have any stakes in the match whatsoever, as the last US archer dropped in the quarterfinal) thought it was significant enough to note (while specifically noting that it were the Chinese fans ‘heckling’ the Korean archers)… And it wasn’t just the woman’s individuals - it happened at both Men’s Team semifinal and Women’s Team final.
In archery, concentration plays a gigantic part (I’ve been told). Despite cheering loudly in between shots, everyone’s supposed to be as quiet as a mouse when an archer is shooting because it really affects the archer’s performance. Koreans, as you noted, are huge fans of archery, and obviously knows what impact making noises (whistles, shouts, and noisemakers, if I remember correctly) has to archers.
So Duna, you’re telling me that the Korean spectators, who made the effort to fly out to Beijing and buy tickets to watch the archery competition, would sabotage their own athletes, knowing perfectly well that doing so would greatly damage the Korean archer’s chances? It’s like saying ASU students would spike ASU football team’s drinks with ex-lax before the big game against U of A.
i found the chinese post…it is very clear that it is a parody
http://www.laifu.org/book1/14912.htm
good laughs:)
—here is a short synopsis
title: to prove that phelps is a korean
it lists a few reasons (that phelps is not american)
1) phelps must be a step-son of USA, a la Cinderella’ stepmother. only step mother will be so cruel to her own son, and force him to compete in so many matches within such a short period of time
2) when phelps was on its path to triump, US media started to call him a ‘fish’, and make fun of his body ratios, etc.
3) phelps breaks world record, of whom? of the american spitz! this shows that he is not american
4) he got 8 golds, in 8 matches, competed 8 times…that is 3-8’s. why because 38 line is what divided korea
5) why phelps picked beijing, because it is close to his home (corea!). but could he be chinese? no, they are too much into saving their own face and won’t claim phelps. as for the japanese who are also near beijing, they only love nude people, phelps is only half-nude. so japanese he is not
here is another
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=mz4PZ9Qt0sc
各国对游泳比赛蛙泳、仰泳、蝶泳、自由泳×100、200、400、1500导致金牌 过多感到非常不满，纷纷要求增加自己优势项目的金牌数目。
巴西提出： 足球应该分为3人、5人、7人、11人×沙滩、室内、草地。
中国提出： 乒乓球应该分为直板、横板、直板双打、直板单打、直板横板混双。跳水应该分为1m 2m 3m 4m 5m 6m 7m 8m 9m 10m
英国提出：马术应该分成黑马马术、白马马术、红马马术、褐马马术、皇 马马术、斑马马术。
肯尼亚提出：长跑应该分为10000米、11000米、 12000米、13000米。
日本提出：所有男女混合项目应该增加3p、4 p、5p、6p、7p。。。群p。
泰国提出： 除了男子和女子项目外，所有应该加上人妖组。
唯独韩国在这方面没有要求，他 们大声喊到： 菲尔普斯是韩国人
translate: every country protests about phelps’ 8 gold, saying there are too many golds for swimming
1) brazil wants soccer to have games of 1 person, 3,5,7,11 permutes outdoor/inddor/beach
2) china wants tbale tennis in straight bat, horizontal bat permutes single, double,…diving of 1m, 2m, 3m, ….10m
3) british wants horse riding be in white horse, red horse, brown horse, royal horse(pun of royal madrid), zebra
4) japan want for mixed competition as 2p, 3p, 4p, ….group-p
5) thailand wants to add the transvestite on top of men/women
finally, only the korean did not protest, they just claimed phelps as korean!
for archery, when the korean shot a 10 while the british got a 4 in the rainstorm.
the chinese commentator said the korean were trained against all kinds of environment, including noise, rain, etc. and they are the most consistent in the world. every chinese was surpise at the result of the single.
for archery, when the korean shot a 10 while the british got a 4 in the rainstorm.
the chinese commentator said the korean were trained against all kinds of environment, including noise, rain, etc. and they are the most consistent in the world. every chinese was surpised at the result of the single.
Ah, that’s a good answer - Korean archers are immune against distractions (apparently), so it’s cool if the Chinese spectators make dick moves by making loud noises while they’re aiming. Doesn’t really answer for the lack of class and sportsmanship from the crowd, but still.
Ugh, why am I arguing this? I must be really bored. Taekwondo is too boring with judges who won’t count 90% of the valid hits as points.
Good luck with that. As you know, Chinese netizens rarely provide links to the original.
#44 — I don’t know where you guys keep getting the idea that I “waive” (sic) my credentials around, because I’ve only done it Korean, and quite consciously, because it helps get the point across in a context in which the conversation is education or the accusation that foreigners all have fake or bad credentials.
Show me where I “waive” them around, please, besides the obviously strategic context I just mentioned, which is always in Korean, and like twice? Ya’ll that sensitive?
If you’re pissed that I actually list my schools and organizations on a profile or on my resume (oh, the horror!), then take it up with yourself and whatever complex you have about that.
Trust me — I’m quite assured of the talents and abilities I have, and don’t need to “waive” my credentials around to do it. You might say I’m a dick for that very fact. OK — your opinion. I think you’ve got a chip, since people like you keep bringing the shit up far more than I’ve ever done it.
So obviously, this still doesn’t “wave” (sic) your right to have a complex about it, though, since no one was talking about any stinking credentials.
The Metropolemician has spoken
LMAO Dogbert wins the Internet.
I hope someone gives the Metropolemician a slurpee and a carton of twinkies so he goes away happy and dribbles shit on one of his own blogs.
Well, Don’t you know Korean are our ancestor?
Korean said we need light,then come light;
Korean said we need human,then come human;
Of course Phelps is Korean.Can anything good not be Korean?
Yep. I’ve spoken. And I love how people with a complex about my “credentials” (I’m not the one who keeps bringing this shit up) can’t even spell properly while they do it.
Don’t know what’s “polemical” about that, dogbert. And hojusoju, when you get a blog, I’ll make sure to dribble shit on yours, too.
This is why the comments section is so irritating. Besides comments #37, 38, and 64, no one here offered any specific discussion with actual concrete information related to the TOPIC, but instead, the first responses to my comment are around my credentializing, or ad hominem attacks when I point out that the only people bringing up completely off-topic stuff are you guys.
But I’ll keep making comments relevant to the topic, and you guys keep launching irrelevant attacks about my credentials or appearance. It’s pretty standard, now, so I’m used to it.
Anyway, I assume there’s a few people out there who are interested in actually discussing the topic at hand, so I’ll keep commenting.
And annoying ya’ll with my presence. I can’t get XL slurpees in Korea, but I can finagle some Choco Pies and patbingsu.
Ready to dribble and shoot when you are, Hojusoju!
chinese medicine and CONFUCIUS is also korean……
those korean archeaologists and scientists are definetely genius.
i think that’s all ok and why not claim that chinese man football team are korean______chinese
micheal phelps is black…
O.O
as if anyone would believe either of those.
Why do people think Korea so great??
The running joke of Chinese cyberland continues, with a Chinese portal site running another fictional report — this time citing an imaginary Chosun Ilbo report — in which Koreans claim American swimmer Michael Phelps as one of their own.
Well, I guess the Chinese find it funny…
(HT to reader)
+ I don’t think it’s funny=_=
Actually, #76’s idea is more funny than that…
If I was rude, I’m sorry^^;;