US Cows Protest KORUS FTA

Brilliant stuff by Mike Breen in the KT:

In an unusual twist on the current U.S. beef issue, animal psychologists in the American state of Montana are reporting a growing resistance among American cows to the Korea-U.S. Free Trade Agreement (FTA).

“They don’t want to be eaten by Koreans,” said Bucky McGee, the legendary “cow whisperer” who has been working worldwide since the first outbreak of mad cow disease in the United Kingdom in the 1980s.

Cows are normally decent creatures, McGee said, but there have been one or two cases of violence against humans on ranches. In one incident, a man was kicked in the genitals by a cow after saying “eum-mae,” which is the Korean word for “moo.”

It’s a riot — read the rest on your own.

14 Comments

  1. Posted May 16, 2008 at 2:58 pm | Permalink

    When did Breen start writing for the Onion?

  2. aaronm your flag
    Posted May 16, 2008 at 3:16 pm | Permalink

    Fookin brilliant, fighting the absurd with absurdism.

  3. Anton your flag
    Posted May 16, 2008 at 3:17 pm | Permalink

    Any chance of Koreans reading this and then slapping themselves on the forehead saying, “Fcuk, I can’t believe I have been so gawd-damned silly!”?

    Nope. Don’t think so.

  4. aaronm your flag
    Posted May 16, 2008 at 3:36 pm | Permalink

    #3 no, cue bees on the man from Daegu, finger-chopping insanity and naked pensioners. Oh, speaking of the latter, you’ll all get a buzz out of this

    http://www.theage.com.au/artic.....d=www:top5

    Australia, sporkling!

  5. Wedge your flag
    Posted May 16, 2008 at 4:16 pm | Permalink

    Mike hits another out of the park!

  6. keith your flag
    Posted May 16, 2008 at 4:31 pm | Permalink

    Mr Breen is a hero!

  7. seoulmilk your flag
    Posted May 16, 2008 at 6:44 pm | Permalink

    brilliant.

  8. globalvillageidiot your flag
    Posted May 16, 2008 at 8:46 pm | Permalink

    Michael Breen’s column is something I look forward to every Friday.

  9. r.rac your flag
    Posted May 16, 2008 at 10:10 pm | Permalink

    Lets all take Breen out for a steak dinner some time, American beef of course (Texas beef preferably maybe some from the King Ranch)

    That was one of the best pieces I’ve read in a Korean paper in a long, long time

  10. exexpatPete your flag
    Posted May 17, 2008 at 2:07 am | Permalink

    I must have bought that book “The Koreans” four times (new, too, dammit, Mike, if you’re reading this) over the years - Anton, you’ve probably got one of my copies - Mr Breen is without doubt THE guy to listen to when it comes to matters Korean.

    Hope they don’t deport him for this.

  11. Breeny your flag
    Posted May 17, 2008 at 8:22 am | Permalink

    #10 exexpatPete, four times? There will be 72 virgins waiting for you in heaven.

  12. kimchipig your flag
    Posted May 18, 2008 at 3:33 am | Permalink

    Breen’s piece was one of the best satires I have ever read.

  13. dogbert your flag
    Posted May 18, 2008 at 4:12 am | Permalink

    Too bad Breen doesn’t post here.

  14. John Bolton your flag
    Posted May 18, 2008 at 7:57 pm | Permalink

    HAD to diss my home state, didn’t he? The very LEAST all of you can do is buy some Montana beef after all this. :)

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*