Happy new year! While surfing the net I came across this Dutch (English-language, though) instructional video on how to grow marijuana indoors in an urban environment. It looks too complex and furtive for me; plus, I don’t smoke. But I know a lot of the rest of you do. (If the link doesn’t work, you’ll need to sign up for a TVTorrents.com account and let the Feds get you. And you’ll need a BitTorrent client if you don’t have one already.)
Once you get your grow room set up, there will be no need to import marijuana through the post. (Or cilantro, I guess.) The Korean cops are on to you anyway.
Anyway, watching this video, I’m exhausted. So much for the stereotype that potheads are lazy.
59 Comments
I reckon a certain rival lawyer’s website will soon have a new post.
Don’t you mean “Poo-Poo Head Brendon Carr”?
Anyway, I enjoy reading the reports of foreigners arrested for doing something everyone knows is (i) illegal and (ii) provokes a hysterical reaction from authorities. Sometimes you gotta make your own fun — that’s what I’m doing here.
Given their reputed preference for an alcoholic crutch, lawyers may prefer this torrent: The Home Distillation Handbook.
cost of soju < cost of marijuana
When I was attending HS in Korea, I remember two of my classmates serendipitously found some ganja in some wooded area just outside of Seoul while mountain biking. My guess is, it was some growing operation by a local pothead but who knows. Oh how happy they were.
Let the Easter Egg hunt begin!
Brendon
“Sometimes you gotta make your own fun”
I think that would be their excuse too!
“While surfing the net I came across this…”
Uh-huh. Where’d ya get your computer mouse, out of a Ouija Board box ?
I’m still waiting for you to post the guide to all those high-priced room salons you fancy pants lawyers spend your evenings in. Oh yeah, and you forgot to mention Canadians alongside dope. Shame on you.
Brendon, I usually enjoy your submissions as you really provide some knowledgeable insight from time to time, but I REALLY wish you hadn’t posted this!
This just has potential problem written all over it.
Anybody remember the “How to seduce your students” thread from EnglishspectrumGate?
It was intended as a joke, but the Korean press got wind of it and it was not a pretty situation.
“Drugs are bad… m’kay?!~~~~”
-Mr. Mackey
# 8,
Brendon is a lawyer, meaning he’s got his bases covered.
http://www.fla-lap.org/Forms/B.....Judges.pdf
http://www.dcba.org/brief/mari.....t60398.htm
Brendon said he would represent me during my extradition proceedings but I decided to save the funds for the battle stateside. Guess he’s trying to drum up more business
aaronm;
하루2 is a banging room salon in 역삼동. The Marketing VP at KTF took me there once. 500,000원 a head and no happy ending like 북창동.
how do you get the seeds into Korea?
#12,
That’s better, but not good enough. No happy ending, I mean WTF?
I have no idea on that one. For the sake of my amusement, however, I hope it involves the rectum.
No fooling. I haven’t seen the Home Distillation Guide, but the amount of equipment and effort involved in the growing of marijuana appears to be staggering. No wonder it costs so much money — the grower has to spend his life savings on the machinery, and every waking moment caring for the plants.
It was also curious to see how much effort went into heat-masking and filtering the air discharge from the room, so that nobody else (i.e., de Po-Po) would know one was growing weed in there. This video was produced in the Netherlands; I thought marijuana was decriminalized — why so secretive, hopheads?
Marijuana must be wonderful, to be worth all that work.
By the way, lawyers wondering about still-making in Korea should keep in mind the relative clutter and potentially dangerous nature of the equipment involved. Given these considerations, home distillation would likely be best handled on the veranda of a Korean apartment.
Still (no pun intended), lawyers can set up a system of home distillation that caters to their needs and interests, and imagine themselves acting out the roles of fictional characters Doctors B.J. Honeycutt and ‘Hawkeye’ Pierce from the acclaimed television comedy/drama ‘M.A.S.H.’. As an added benefit, home distillation also allows lawyers to more easily hide any excessive drinking from colleagues, clients and friends.
In the late 1980s, I knew of Westerners who gathered the “shake” from ordinary Seoul pet-store birdseed, small 1-lb bags of hemp seeds, and smoked it for a mild buzz. Most said it was not really worth the trouble, even though the legal risks weren’t terribly high at that time of low awareness or police attention to drugs.
During a bicycle tour of the peninsula at that time, I saw small numbers of tall hemp plants growing in the fenced-in yards of some farmers’ homes in Kangwondo.
#16
Marijuana is decriminalized, but it’s also highly regulated. The people making it most likely do not have a growers permit.
$500 KrZ?? Were you guys in and out of there in an hour? That much money doesn’t go very far or last very long in that neighborhood.
Hey, give us a break. Most of us have had to make a really difficult choice; namely stay back home in our parents’ basement - where the good green is admittedly easier to find - or ship our first-world economic refugee asses over here.
Thanks for assuming we can tackle complex and furtive ideas, though! Happily my furrowed brows found respite when I remembered that if you write your address 거꾸로 (a la West) then you are magically absolved from all responsibility pertaining to any packages you receive.
There were four of us and the KTF VP said something about 2 mil. I assumed that was for all of us but perhaps it was just my share…
Did you previously work at 사람과기술 Linkd? If so, I was your replacement when you left for B-school. Do you remember me? kromozone on google mail
Wow, what an intelligent blog entry. Next you should do “GIs! How to flatten school girls with your truck!” Since we’re in the “lowest common denominator” category and all.
The Marmot has already done an extensive report. I blame Japan.
Blaming Japan?
How Korean of you
Two things to keep in mind: 1) not all lawyers have a Robert Palmer-esque need to surround themselves with paid-for pliancy; and 2) no matter how fancy their pants, lawyers - whether they drink to excess or not - still put them on one leg at a time like the rest of us.
In the United States they catch people doing that by checking everyones electric meter (no warrant required), those sunlamps suck up loads of power.
That’s me. Did you give your replacement the full 15 minutes of training I gave you?
I agree with Benicio74 above on the possibility the local media will misinterpret Brendon’s sarcasm and stir up something.
Time to bump it down with an open thread or something…
The funny thing is that for one or two plants, you really don’t need all the fancy equipment, since you can pretty much just keep it in the corner and shine a sun lamp on it. It’s a plant… it grows and flowers, that’s what it does. Sure you might not end up with humongous buds of ‘the chronic’, but it’ll get you through Adult Swim. Unless you’re going into commercial distribution, the wisest thing to do is to keep it small. (And if you are going into commercial distribution, the wisest thing to do is not to go into commercial distribution).
…not that I would know anything about any of this, of course.
What??? Growing cilantro is illegal too??
#32 - You’d almost think so in Korea, what with it being harder to find than more ‘recreational’ substances.
#25. Thank you, Brenda, you may now go back to chasing ambulances. Or should that be ambuli?
This video was produced in the Netherlands; I thought marijuana was decriminalized — why so secretive, hopheads?
Marijuana must be wonderful, to be worth all that work.
I don’t know a damn thing about the laws concerning marijauna in The Netherlands but I’d imagine you’d might need a license to grow the stuff.
Marijuana is indeed wonderful. You feel like you’re in a dream. Everything becomes slow motion. Your thoughts become extremely crystal clear. Everything just makes sense, even the reggae music playing in the background.
Not that I would know anything about it, of course….
Netizen Kim is exhibit A why not to use drugs.
Only users lose drugs!
This post is not even humorous enough to be an Onion reject.
#35 Ugh.Can’t stand it when someone has to kill the evening by sticking on reggae.
Cilantro, or coriander (고수 in Korean), is available at open-air markets such as the one in Itaewon near the Jungang Kyeonglidan (중앙경리단), at specialtly grocery stores like Hannam Supermarket, and even at your local Nong-Hyup Co-op. It may not be at the local supermarket or corner store, but it’s not impossible to get by any means.
Finally we learn something useful!
#40 - So what about people who don’t live in Seoul, or maybe Busan (aka Seoul Lite)? I actually had to mail-order seeds, since I never found it in any nong-hyup.
“He who represents himself not has a fool for a lawyer.”
What a poinless post by the lawyer.
I retract. Self promotion isn’t pointless
Rectum? Damn near killed’im!
I believe the traditional method is to use calligraphy brushes.
#42,
I can’t be sure, of course, but believe me that 고수 may well be at your local Nong-Hyup, and that the employees may not know of it or its location in their own building. I realize that may sound foolish, but that was the case for me when I shopped for it at the Nong-Hyup co-op near Seokgye Station in northeastern Seoul. After some persistence - employees didn’t know what it was, and flat-out told me they didn’t have it - and continued looking (the place is huge), I finally found it. Good luck.
Another suggestion for finding 고수 - visit a local pho restaurant, have a chat with the owner while ordering, then later ask her where the restaurant gets theirs. She might just point you in the direction of the local market that sells it.
You know, this post kind of worries me (see comment #9)…
It’s only “self-promotion” if somehow I were interested in obtaining work from potheads arrested in Korea. But I’m not — my firm doesn’t do this kind of work. My only interest is ensuring a steady stream of comedy from the misadventures of those who can’t restrain themselves.
Given that this is ostensibly your blog, I really don’t understand the passive voice you take when these sorts of things happen.
I’m kind of worried about substance-abusing lawyers (see comment #12)…
I understand there’s a need to provide a lot of new content every day for the large readership, but it really reduces quality. There’s the Marmot’s Hole, and then there’s the Marmot’s Hole Weekend/Holiday Edition.
FOR THE LAWYER FELLA: How to steal money from clients
http://blogs.tampabay.com/brea.....rimes.html
I’m waiting for the S. Korea Bar Clients’Security Fund, which would reimburse people who are ripped off by their lawyers.
tbonetylr, that article was shocking!
Of course, not all non-Korean legal professionals are substance abusers or embezzlers, and we should try hard not to think of them as such. Still, non-Korean lawyers are able to come to Korea - even on tourist visas - and it’s frightening to think that they could do such things here.
Going green with solar and wind power can help keep the meter police away; however, satellites are now in use to spot heavy home heat signatures associated with this type of illicit activity. At least this is what the TV show “Weeds” would have its viewers believing.
I could see that masking things somewhat, but it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out the expected output of such a facility, and then add it to the meter reading. Maybe if you kept everything off the gird, but then you’d kind of raise the question of why you shelled out enormous amounts of money (these units are pretty massively expensive) without wanting to get some of it back via cost offsets from your friendly neighborhood power company for all that power you’re ‘not using’…
# 55 gbnhj
I agree! I think it’s unfathomable that layer fellas take chances of getting caught possibly wasting the numerous years of study as they rip off their clients. To think a bar association clients fund is needed shows the absurdity of it all. However, when lawyer fellas get caught and disbarred after STEALING from their clients I think it’s funny as hell.
The article didn’t go into detail about how lawyer fellas STEAL from their clients but since the lawyer fella found a video on how to grow pot but supposedly doesn’t smoke or grow it himself, I’m sure he could share much about how his peers STEAL from their clients. Do tell us, maybe you have an instructional video?
Usually they steal by “borrowing” from funds held in trust for their clients to “invest” or wager on can’t miss opportunities. Then somehow they miss, and don’t have the money to put back before anyone notices. That’s what happened in the case tbonetylr linked, and I know of one Korean law firm of moderate size which went under in 2001/2002 due to the same foolish misjudgment and embezzlement of client funds.
All American lawyers are required to take and pass a course on professional responsibility which details all manner of horror stories like this one, so there’s no need for an instructional video. We’ve all been taught how to do it, and why it’s never tolerated.
There’s a qualitative difference between smoking weed, which is essentially harmless, and embezzling from people who trust you.