Down in Changwon, Lewis James Eckersley is upset by all the prostitution:
As a foreigner having lived in Changwon for the last few years, I’ve realized how rewarding it is to live in Asia. The Korean people are welcoming to new foreign visitors, the diet is immeasurably better than its Western counterpart, and the economic benefits are rewarding.
OK, introduction including patronizing compliments directed at host nation… check.
However, there is one aspect of Korean culture that I found particularly perplexing, and that is the rampant sex trade and its position as juxtaposed with traditional Korean values.
I should have stopped reading right there.
Only last week I walked into one of the largest International Hotels here in order to visit the Sauna. Upon leaving I saw a dimly lit room innocently labeled “Sports massage,” and decided to take a look.
Dimly lit room near a provincial hotel sauna marked “sports massage.” Hmm, I wonder what it could be?
With a welcoming grin and a string of broken English I was offered sex at 250,000 Won from an older lady who clearly served as the hostess. With a wedding ring buzzing on my finger, I swiftly walked out with a polite, but embarrassingly strained “No thank you.”
Good on you, Lewis. I mean, nobody should have to pay 250,000 won for a massage and sex, especially at a provincial hotel. Not when you can get a perfectly adequate rub-and-tug at just about any nearby iyongwon for 60,000-70,000 won.
This takes place only one floor above an International reception desk, buffet restaurant and wedding hall.
Shocking.
Of course, a quick glance through downtown Changwon after 6 p.m. will reveal hordes of mini buses with blacked out windows releasing packs of huddled ladies and long coats scampering hurriedly into the seductive halls of love motels.
Gee, and I’d always thought Changwon was something of a dull, dreary hole. Guess not.
Yet, to witness the flagrant presence of such prostitution in a large international hotel was quite staggering.
No. The presence of a large international hotel in Changwon is staggering.
How bizarre that the management could maintain such a service while children played with their toy trains and businesses went about their conferences at 10 a.m. in the morning on the floor below?
Well, maybe in Kansas, yes. But here, even the kids playing with their toy trains probably know what goes on down there. Let alone the businessmen, who I guarantee think it’s just fine.
Then, upon flying out of an airport in Seoul two weeks ago I was confounded by the same sign in a provocative hazy window, conveniently located above the departure lounge. Presumably enduring the delays of International air travel is just too tedious for many men.
Well, nothing cures those pre-flight jitters quite as well as a handjob.
A prostitution industry exists in England and North America too, although you could rarely find it in large expensive hotels or airports. Prostitution in Korea seems to be ingrained in the very fabric of unspoken society.
Yeah, and?
Perhaps this would be more understandable in the West, where liberal attitudes regarding sex are more widespread, but strange and almost paradoxical in Korea; the people here are generally united in a sense of conservative values with a strong sense of familial obligations and responsibilities.
Dude, if you’re just discovering that the massage rooms of hotel saunas are good places to bust a nut, you’ll probably want to avoid discussing what does and doesn’t accord with Korean traditional values. Actually, I feel kind of bad for you — wait until you learn that there was prostitution during the Joseon era, too.
My middle school children will happily observe a deathly silence rather than discuss topics pertinent to Korean society like rising divorce rates or extra- marital affairs. This reluctance clearly reflects deeply embedded notions of an organic and pure family.
That, or it reflects the deeply embedded notions on the part of Korean middle school students that divorce and adultery — none of which they actually care about — are inappropriate topics of discussion in a middle school classroom. Especially in English class.
Such sentiments lie in stark contrast to the rising sun of prostitution, an industry so pandemic in city centers and airports. As easily procured as a roll of Gimbab, the screaming demand for purchased sex is naked for all to see.
I’m not sure about that. At least at the shop near my office, I have to wait some 20 minutes sometimes to get a roll of gimbap.
The Ministry of gender and family equality recently estimated that this trade accounts for 4 percent of Korea’s GDP with over 500,000 women active in the business. While daring not to embark on a discussion of the moral desirability of the sex trade or not, it is intriguing to question the psychological ramifications of commercial sex as a common cultural practice for many men, the effects on the women involved, and in addition, the apparent neglect of the authorities to clamp down on something widely considered socially and legally deviant in Korea. The issue clearly raises more questions than answers.
I think it would be more interesting to question the psychological ramifications of commercial sex as a common cultural practice on expats when they learn it actually exists. Or the psychological ramifications on expats when they realize that the sexual mores of their host society differ from those of their homes. And yes, Lewis, prostitution is illegal (although why is anyone’s guess), but socially deviant? In Korea? To whom?
53 Comments
250,000!?? Is that going rate for foreigners who look foreign? Whoa that is shocking.
I blame Japan.
Thanks for the humor, Marmot. This particularly tripped my trigger:
“With a wedding ring buzzing on my finger, I swiftly walked out with a polite, but embarrassingly strained ‘No thank you.’”
Yes, how could the ajumma dare ask you to enter the den of iniquity with that loudly buzzing wedding ring on your finger?
And I too wonder where that large international hotel is; didn’t catch it last time I was there.
“As easily procured as a roll of Gimbab…”
Hasn’t anyone told him yet that there is no homosexuality in Korea?
sounds kinda romantic.
And in next week’s editorial he asks for enforcement of traffic laws.
Who is this guy… Mister Rogers?
Every boy must grow up someday. I think its pretty common for everyone to have one moment where they find out something “shocking” and determine that they must go on a crusade to stop it, only to quickly realize, due to the constant ridicule of friends and family, that you’re an idiot. Needless to say, this guy needs better friends.
Anyone else find it hard to believe this guy has spent “the last few years” in Changwon, but, if one is to believe his account, has only stumbled upon this “staggering” aspect of Korean society in the last few weeks?
‘That, or it reflects the deeply embedded notions on the part of Korean middle school students that divorce and adultery — none of which they actually care about — are inappropriate topics of discussion in a middle school classroom. Especially in English class.’
you got that right. what in the hell is some grown man talking to teenagers about prostitution?
The Horror.
Pawi,
Perhaps the students have a trip to China planned. English is ‘the’ international language, after all.
A superb example of an unwitting humorist at work.
Please don’t let me find out that the guy was trying to be funny.
Way to slap down an intellectual heavyweight, Robert.
Always nice to see long-term expats using relative newbies as fodder to make themselves feel morally superior.
‘Tis the giving season, eh?
talk about unnecessary attacks on a harmless blog entry. what a waste of energy.
The man procures Gimbap, in Changwon of all places.
The “cat is out of the bag!”. Kinda makes my toes curl.
@14 Because you never dispraise anyone, right?
Lewis is dishing it out, I’m sure he can handle a bit of criticism in return. I thought it was pretty funny myself.
The guy comes across as incredibly naive, but it could be part of a strategy to appeal to Korean pride, and the Korean desire to appear virtuous to foreigners. The most Koreans could probably be expected to do in response to this type of complaint would be to better hide the ’sports massage’ signs, or write them in Korean so newbees couldn’t figure it out as easily, and the virtuous moral illusion could be maintained.
I think many Westerners that come to Korea are surprised by Korean hypocrisy about extra-marital sex norms, and that’s mostly what ‘the Eck’ finds shocking here - it’s not just that other societies have different sexual mores.
I see where the author is coming from. In my town there are two tourist hotels, designated as such, and are the only two hotels that show up when people google or otherwise look for accommodation here on English-language sites. Both aren’t that great, and are two or three times the cost of a love motel. Anyway, the one is a few blocks behind the bus terminal and is in a pretty unsavory area. The area is occupied only by vacant buildings, massage parlors, and singing rooms. The other is in an older area of “old downtown” and has a massage parlor and business club inside. I would feel much more comfortable putting visitors in one of the dozens of love motels—cleaner, cheaper, and more comfortable—than these two “toursit” hotels. It’s a little naive to be shocked by prostitution in an Asian country, but on the other hand it’s strange to have it so readily accessible in those areas most likely visited by unknowing guests. So, for example, my parents might not find it unusual to see massage parlors or brothels on the streets in certain areas, but they might feel uncomfortable by having it in one of the few “tourist hotels” in town. Likewise, I’m sure the author didn’t just discover prostitution . . . but he’s questioning why he finds it where he found it.
And 250,000 is way too much. But he expects us to believe there’s an international hotel in Changwon, so maybe he’s just continuing the illusion by doubling the rate of a full-service salon.
OK, we’ve all had some fun at the expense of Mr. Eckersley’s righteous naivety and Changwon’s backwatered-ness (with the latter being quite inaccurate, by the way). We all know there is a huge gap between the morality a society holds as ideal, and the one it obeys in reality. My question, for all you well-traveled folk, is: do you think there’s an inverse relationship to how sexually conservative a society portrays itself and how it actually behaves? Is it the more traditional cultures that have the seedier underbellies? I’d like to hear some intelligent opinions on this.
While his post is naive, I do harbor similar feelings as him. I teach conversation to adults, which means we sit around and talk about their lives. There’s a stark contrast between all the talk of “family values” and how “tight the Korean family is” and yet there is this underside which nobody wants to acknowledge. If I have a class of only ajeosis, then it will come up and we all have a good laugh at it.
And many Korean women seem to be oblivious to this thing. My wife was 35 before she realized all the sex shops lurking in almost every building throughout Korea. On my block alone, there are 6 places. And she learned about it after I pointed it out.
Yes.
Conservatives are all waiting-in-the-stall foot-tapping sexual deviants.
Basically: Korean culture is nothing but a bunch of Ted Haggards.
doh!
but seriously, i’m guessing this is eckersley’s cover story for why he was spotted coming out of the massage parlor in the first place. master of disquise, that old ecky is.
The Eck’s version sure sounds suspicious - “I saw a dimly lit room innocently labeled “Sports massage,” and decided to take a look” sure sound suspicious - why was he so curious about ‘dimly lit’ massage rooms I wonder?
Yeah Granfalloon, an intriguing hypothesis, particularly since you can only repress basic human needs so much. An interesting corollary might be sexually open Japan where convenience stores sell dildos, but the rate of sexual activity among couples is actually the lowest in the world.
Comedy at the apex of intelligent understanding.
1000 BC - Sex
0 BC - Sex
2007 AD - Sex and Gimbap
2008 AD - Happy New Year, Is procured “Gimbap” in Changwon
better than Seoul procured “Gimbap”? Mmmm,
tasty all the same.
Sounds like an old story in a new suit to me.
When I visited Amsterdam I was totally so not bothered by the fact that there certain areas where scantily clad women posed behind large windows beckoning you to come hither. A real man is not confused or upset about such things. If happily married, he’ll just simply ignore it.
The reason why Mr Eckersley, like so many expat males, go out of their way to sound like straitlaced, uptight little church ladies regarding prostitution in Korea is because they are wrestling with their own mixed emotions over the very thing that they are supposedly “outraged” about. In reality, he is actually curious and tempted by the dimly lit rooms and the massage parlors. But he also mentions his wedding band, which is what holds him back. He is tormented by the struggle of shame and guilt caused by the tension between marital fidelity and the relentless “omnipresence” of sexually-connotative markers in this strange, foreign culture. There is a need to blame his guilt on Korean society itself, and mix in a good dose of your garden-variety Western hubris, in this case, a moral superiority-complex, and there you have a Mr Eckersley.
My question, for all you well-traveled folk, is: do you think there’s an inverse relationship to how sexually conservative a society portrays itself and how it actually behaves?
A retarded hypothesis pretending to be an intelligent query.
The political-correctness indoctrinated mind is forever surprised by what the rest of the world deems as normal.
I blame Japan.
I wonder what his take would be on the the brushing under the rug of actual history with either a faulty revision or blatant omission of it to appease the leader of the neighbor to the North. Sadly, this seems more for economic reasons than a reconciliation based on compassion for one’s “blood” brothers (I use the term blood since many other people on this planet consider every human being to be “their” brother and sister).
While the much older generations still remember the hardships and starvation (most older people still plant vegetables in ever available speck of dirt over flowers), school age children are being indoctrinated with a hatred of Japan and learning nothing of the travesties, mass killings, and imprisonments that have occurred in the north by people of their same blood.
Hell, some who may want to learn can’t because of restrictions on the information by their own government. Then, there are those who have heard of atrocities that have occurred, and are occurring, in the north, but somehow they instead blame the U.S. for all their problems.
I wish more people in this country had access to this video, CNN Presents - Undercover in the Secret State (2005), but many would rather enjoy those other worlds that the extreme amounts of alcohol, sex, and computer and hand phone usage provide than have to live in a world detailed here:
http://video.google.com/videop.....;plindex=4
The country of my birth is by no means perfect and blameless in this world of ours, but at least I have the opportunities to learn and judge for myself whatever I feel inclined to without limitations.
I’m just shocked that people have started to capitalize gimbap.
Good comments by NK in #26 and #27.
Oh, and about this (from #18):
Not sure if you were speaking for yourself or just channelling Eckersley, but there’s no hypocrisy involved in a conservative society winking at sex with prostitutes. Here, it seems to be accepted that hookers are hookers, not 김수진.
Wife-swapping would be different, of course…
Netizen Kim wrote: “The political-correctness indoctrinated mind is forever surprised by what the rest of the world deems as normal.”
You’re using “the rest of world” to cover a lot of ground here. Are you really saying that the whole world has a common notion of “normal”?
By the way, since I know some people can’t tell when they’re being a jerk, I’ll make it clear for you: you’re being a jerk. When someone puts forth an idea, and you disagree with it’s premise, it’s customary among brighter folk to provide a reason for said disagreement, rather than dismiss it as “retarded.” Unless you’re so damn intelligent that it would be too much effort for you to break your ideas down into simple words that a retard like me could understand.
If I had a nickel for every time I came across a person WHO I PROBABLY AGREE WITH but wind up arguing with just because they come across like schmuck . . .
I am just amazed by people who have lived here awhile suddenly having this sort of revelation. My God! Imagine how they’d react if they walked out of Yongsan Station, casually crossed the street and walked a block. How would they feel when confronted by two blocks of women in pink lit aquariums?
Amsterdam and Seoul - you couldn’t find two more different cities regarding hypocritical attitudes towards sex. The Dutch are very open about their liberal policies towards prostitution and marijuana use. They’re proud of legalization as a means to reduce crime. Koreans, on the other hand, claim to be morally virtous and pretend to be prudish about sex, yet have a thriving sex industry. NK, don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Discrimination and abuse of ethnic and religious minority groups in the US is not ‘politically correct.’ And you’re wrong, a shocked response to sex and prostitution has more to do with conservative religious upbringing than ‘politically correct’ attitudes. To use your own example - who do you think were major proponents of the legalization of the sex industry in Amsterdam? Progressives and liberals - the ‘politically correct’
Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening
Robert Frost
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Correct me if I’m wrong here, but why doesn’t Korea have a proper above-ground porn industry?
rising sun of prostitution? You got it right. A “Rising Sun” is the Japanese national symbal.
The Japanese corrupted Koreans. Chosun era had some Kisaengs who sang and played Gayagum. And, they became rich men’s concubines.
But, the Japanese taught how to market sex in national scale.
However, Korea is still better. In Japan, with 250 dollars all you get is a bath while a girl in bikini brings you towels and soaps.
Partly because Korea abhors above-ground industry, period. It’s better for the established social order if all players are out of compliance with laws at all times. Except for foreigners — if they are found to be out of compliance with anything they should be smashed.
But additionally, another part is the fact that a substantial part of the Korean woman’s economic and social value is in her chastity. “Good”, marriageable women are expected to remain virgin.
A discreet prostitute can generally deny her past with some expectation of being able to get away with it (”I was working in an all-night Dongdaemun market, honest, Mom!”). An “actress” in pornographic films cannot; her past is right there for all to see. And the social cost on Korean women for acts of unchastity is much greater than in the US, Europe, or Japan.
Slim wrote - “Correct me if I’m wrong here, but why doesn’t Korea have a proper above-ground porn industry?”
I think there are strong cultural reasons. In the confucian value structure, you strive to become a virtuous person, yet the more authority you wield in society, the fewer external restraints on your behavior. Thus, providing a virtous image to others becomes extremely important, while behind the scenes, the rich and powerful indulge in fulfilling their base desires, not only with the purchase of sex, but bending the rules in the pursuit of wealth and power, if that’s required.
People will sometimes go to extreme lengths to preserve a good image- like the men laid off during the financial crisis, who would pretend to be commuting to work after they’d lost their jobs. Keeping the porn industry illegal, and hiding the identity of the johns allows the elite to preserve their virtuous image.
Meant to say prostitution industry, not porn industry
‘Keeping the porn industry illegal, and hiding the identity of the johns allows the elite to preserve their virtuous image.’
they don’t seem to be doing a good job since it seems you and the gang got every korean figured out to a ‘t’. heck, it only takes knowing one, right?
Yup, and it’s sure lucky that one bad Korean has enough stamina, and money, to keep the whole Korean sex industry going.
Amsterdam and Seoul - you couldn’t find two more different cities regarding hypocritical attitudes towards sex. The Dutch are very open about their liberal policies towards prostitution and marijuana use. They’re proud of legalization as a means to reduce crime. Koreans, on the other hand, claim to be morally virtous and pretend to be prudish about sex, yet have a thriving sex industry.
Hypocrisy and irony is Engrish teachers/expat-types giving sermons about morality, esp about sex, in Korea.
By the way, since I know some people can’t tell when they’re being a jerk, I’ll make it clear for you: you’re being a jerk. When someone puts forth an idea, and you disagree with it’s premise, it’s customary among brighter folk to provide a reason for said disagreement, rather than dismiss it as “retarded.”
OK, I’ll explain. You asked is there an “inverse relationship” between a sexually conservative society and “how it actually behaves”. Are you saying that the more sexually conservative a society professes to the more sexually un-conservative it actually is? By what, exactly, is meant by “how it actually behaves”? Secret Roman-style orgies? Female teachers running off with their 13-year-old male student? The leader of the nation surreptitiously getting blow-jobs from a young intern? Or the mere presence of hushed prostitution, which, BTW, exists just about anywhere in the world?
Is the inverse of your inverse relationship true? Is there an inverse relationship between a sexually liberal society and “how it actually behaves”?
Or is it more like people like sex regardless of whether their society is sexually conservative or liberal or some wierd combination of both and will do things to get it?
Your repeated posts indicate that you are misreading Korean sexual mores, Dokdo. It is only the women who feign prudishness in compliance with social expectations of female chastity and marital fidelity. Like most traditional cultures, extramarital sex has never been immoral for men as long as they do not prey on “nice” girls and women.
Netizen Kim: Thank you, that’s considerably less jerkish. Exactly the kind of questions I was trying to bring up, actually.
Now, just because prostitution exists everywhere in the world does not mean that a society’s relationship with it is the same. It’s clear that where I grew up has a much different relationship with it that Korea, where it’s existence is publicly denied while it is patronized to a per capita tune way ahead of Western countries. Is there a correlation here? (yes, I know my terms are fuzzy . . . that’s why it’s called a “soft” science)
For another question, why are female tourists groped on the streets Morocco but not in Vietnam?
I’m asking questions that I don’t have solid answers for, and I think it’s a bit more complicated than to just to say that people everywhere like sex. Why do certain societies routinely do things to get sex that others wouldn’t? Or, do the same thing to a much greater extent?
#28, #36
I blamed Japan first, so nyah. You all suck, jumping on the Blame Japan(tm) bandwagon like that.
I believe this person is either a holy roller, a priest or living the lie.
Lewis James Eckersley gets the 2007 Naive Idiot of the Year Award! Congrats Mr. Eckersley!!! Please let us know where you want your “Sparkling Korea” T-shirt delivered. I look forward to your next editorial on how Denjang Chigae cures Bird Flu.
250,000? wow, i just prowled…um my place of employment and it’s free!!! TAKE THAT!
Seriously though, an outside’s perspective is always more sensational. My gf thought Toronto was really BLING…but as a native of Toronto I just thought it was Toronto.
It’s too bad the dude didn’t get burned at 250,000 and found a better deal. haha
Seriously though, an outsider’s perspective is always more sensational. My gf thought Toronto was really BLING…but as a native of Toronto I just thought it was Toronto.
It’s too bad the dude didn’t get burned at 250,000 and found a better deal. haha
hmmm sorry about that. HAPPY NEW YEAR! I’m legally drunk!
please delete #51. Thanks!
Is there anything to do about the out in the open sex shops? Is there a legal stance to push it away from the main street where children walk?
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[...] on Thursday, December 27, 2007 WHAT IS IT ABOUT FOREIGNERS in Northeast Asia? Judging from this post at The Marmot’s Hole, called Foreigner Learns About Prostitution, Writes Letter to Editor, the [...]