The Vietnamese government does not oppose such marriages, though they do try to discourage them from time to time with articles such as those linked to Thanh Nien, which is an official paper. Indeed, the country’s national poem “Truyen Kieu” can be read as a warning of the pitfalls of such marriages. (In the poem, the marriage contract is a scam, as the “groom” is really procuring her to work in his wife’s brothel.)

The average Vietnamese male views marriage to non-Vietnamese, especially westerners, as an anathema, but marriages to Chinese and other East Asians are acceptable, and can enhance social status. My wife has three nieces who married Taiwanese. One married a man twice her age, and two married farmers their own age. All three marriages have lasted. While in Taiwan visiting them, we met many other Vietnamese brides, to include a few who were divorced, and one who was severely depressed. Many had opened small hairdressing, nail, or soup shops. All were living legally in Taiwan, had Taiwanese children, and the majority said they were far better off than if they had stayed in Vietnam. It may be worth noting that Taiwan’s climate is only cold in the winter, and many fruits and vegetables common to Vietnam can be easily found in Taiwan.

Vietnam is a rapidly developing country, so Vietnamese mail-order brides will someday be a thing of the past. But that is several decades away. For all its progress, Vietnam’s economy remains rooted in agriculture, and manual labor in the rice paddies is rough. Dirt floors are the norm for the majority of Vietnam’s farm families, though some districts fare better than others. Old attitudes keep Vietnamese families large, so the pressure on government services is ever expanding. Farm mothers want better lives for their daughters, but reality often forces them to end children’s schooling in favor of putting another pair of hands to work. When you’re a 40 year old mother of twelve and look 60, marrying your 20 year old daughter off to a 45 year old Taiwanese seems a better option than the rice paddies. She’ll have a better life, and the family may just have a bit more money. Despite the horror tales, mothers and prospective brides will hope for the best. In some cases, because there is little alternative. Brides in rural and small town Vietnam are virgins, or they will be publicly repudiated. Widows are likewise not desirable. And for girls still young enough to dream, those Korean soap operas portray a world far more exciting than another day bending over in the muck, sticking rice seedlings in by hand. Beauty is a coin, and it is spent quickly.

I have met a few Vietnamese who have married Koreans, and they seemed to have adjusted well, but the lack of a family link impeded any real questions about their marriages and families. The Archdiocese of Seoul does have two Vietnamese priests and a nun on their rolls to serve the Vietnamese foreign worker community, and they see their share of abused and unhappy brides of Korean men. I do not know if they have ever attempted a statistical analysis of such marriages. My suspicion is that the percentages in Korea would be similar to Taiwan. Every culture has its share of misogynist idiots, but I’ve seen nothing in my six years in Korea to suggest that this country has any more than Taiwan, Latin America, or the Southern US.

For blueballs. I’m not sure the level of mail order bride traffic in any western country would qualify as “permeating” such societies. What are we looking at? One percent? Less than one percent?

you’re going to have to do more than that, my friend. ‘anger’ is your first name. lol.

iheartblueballs, any opinions here are of mine, not “Korea’s”. Korea didn’t deflect any responsiblity and it wasn’t Korea who said it takes two to tango. It was CM who said it takes two to tango. Can you see the difference here?

Number of times “Korea” is mentioned in post #23: 0.

Number of times “Korea” is mentioned in post #29’s paragraph directed at #23: 4.

A little defensive to the point of implied guilt, it seems. You brought Korea up, not me.

Maybe if you stopped being angry against anything that you perceive to be Korean for a minute, you’ll agree with me.

For the record, I’m of the opinion that anyone, from any country (including the mail-order bride racket that permeates most Western countries), that buys a poverty-stricken human being with the intent of treating that person as a cook/maid/cum-dumpster is a heartless, degenerate asshole. And I don’t give a fuck if she nods her head or signs an X on a contract, or how much money she’s able to send back to her shit-farm village…that doesn’t make the guy any less of a heartless, degenerate asshole.

If it so happens that certain countries have a higher ratio of these assholes than others, and it also so happens that some countries have broad, thriving industries built around serving these assholes, and local governments that give both direct and indirect support to these industries and assholes in a bid to boost their own sagging populations as well as providing free household help and sexual relief for their own bald, toothless farmers…well then it would be quite simple to make some deductions about those involved in that large industry, the governments in bed with them, the general population that supports such industry and government policies at the expense of the poor imported pseudo-slaves, and those that defend those transactions as being equal, two-way contracts which satisfy both parties by claiming equal responsibility lies on both ends of that pathetic inequity.

But I’ll refrain from mentioning any specific countries by name, or sharing my deductions, so as to avoid being labeled “angry.”

Gee, I don’t know…

“He confessed to acting as a marriage go-between and taking seven Vietnamese women to South Korea. His share of the US$4,000 payment per bride was US$600.”

He “confessed”.

Does the Korean media hype up and exaggerate when it only involves anti american agenda and persecution of English teachers? I just wonder why all of a sudden you take every word from the Korean media as gospel?

The key word here is “some”. And one out of every five migrant women found their Korean husbands different from the description they received from the agencies. That’s one out of five - which is 20%, that leaves the majority - 80% who got exactly what they were told.

“Nothing classier or more humane than waving money in the faces of the poor and desperate to entice them into sham “marriages,” and then deflecting any responsibility for the inevitable disasters that follow with “It takes two to tango.” ”

iheartblueballs, any opinions here are of mine, not “Korea’s”. Korea didn’t deflect any responsiblity and it wasn’t Korea who said it takes two to tango. It was CM who said it takes two to tango. Can you see the difference here?
Maybe if you stopped being angry against anything that you perceive to be Korean for a minute, you’ll agree with me.

And Michael, how do you feel about numerous web sites in the United States advertising mail order brides from Eastern Europe and Asia? Are all of them ethical? Are there any problems when strangers meet to marry for money?

“A government survey showed one out of every five migrant women found their Korean husbands different from the description they received from the agencies.”
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/070511/1/48gtk.html

This kind of thing has been all over the news in Korea for a couple of years now.

You mean these are just poor innocent girls getting suckered?
Sometimes, yes, as reported in the Korean media.

lowest income bracket? what does that mean?
Re-read what I wrote, it means that they’re leaving the relative poverty of one country for the relative poverty of another.

what the hell are they marrying korean men for?
I’m wondering the same thing

how do you know they’re often lied to? you mean these are just poor innocent girls getting suckered? yeah, right. lowest income bracket? what does that mean? your figure is worthless since you don’t give a vietnamese comparison. how does the lowest income bracket of korea compare to the income bracket most of the women come from?

‘Vietnamese women can always marry Vietnamese men — the Korean guys obviously don’t have similar options, so the benefit seems mainly to go to the latter.’

this is an absolutely ridiculous statement. then, what the hell are they marrying korean men for? man!

Vietnamese women can always marry Vietnamese men — the Korean guys obviously don’t have similar options, so the benefit seems mainly to go to the latter.