Since I was knee high to a grasshopper, my mom told me that I would one day end up on “ZuZu Island.” Guess what, Mom, I ended up on ZuZu Island, but it’s actually a peninsula!
Virtually everyone I know who I see on a regular basis who could be described as a “long-term” expat here in Korea literally could be a character in a novel. (Hell, come to think of it, so could I!) Live here long enough and you are reduced to an idea of yourself. Others can reduce you to a few words and think they “have you all figured out.” But they don’t.
Scott Bug is a prime example of this. He’s a 5,000 word New Yorker “think piece” in the making, if ever there was one, is all I gotta say.
The JoongAng Daily managed to pull off a story with a few words less, but there’s still time.
55 Comments
I’ll sum it up in fewer words: Look at the picture. He thinks he’s Hunter S. Thompson.
Shelton, did the comments lead you to yank your post about ROKon Magazine’s return?
ummmm…30 percent comments, 50 percent annoying Robert and 20 percent thinking “What happens if I post the lyrics to Suicide is Painless”
I’m hurting really bad today…part of the process of finally getting closure on all of this I guess.
ROKon is one of those things where I don’t feel anyone takes its effects on me seriously.
I generally don’t agree with the idea that “Anything that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Tell that to a rape victim, ya know? I do agree that “Anything that doesn’t kill you makes you stranger…and different.”
ROKon has jiggled my ideas about my relationship with other people. It gave me the gift of fear, if you will.
I know how to do it next time and be successful in my eyes as well as those of everyone else.
These days I feel like I’m shadow boxing anyone from ROKon I meet. There are a few words that have yet to be said…and…maybe never will be.
I am shocked at how differently conversations go between those in the expat “scene” and casual observers.
I’m going to leave Korea soon enough, I think..for some extended RnR…there are other places in Asia that need an expat magazine…and the next time, if there is one…I won’t be writing children’s stories about knights who fall in love with princesses who won’t love them back.
Of course, Shelton, rather than concentrating on an expat magazine, you could instead concentrate your efforts on learning about the country in which you reside. Two years is not enough time to even scratch the surface — I’ve been here a decade and I still know next to nothing. In Korea, you’re surrounded by so much beauty there’s no reason to be in a long-term funk. Explore the country. Learn the language. Then try again with a magazine, if that’s what you choose to do.
As for the article you linked, I’m not a huge fan of Scott, and I understand he holds me in open contempt, but he is a good writer, he works hard, and he’s managed to get himself published in Korean in both the Chosun Ilbo and Kyunghyang Shinmun, which means he’s actually communicating with the society in which we live, which is more than we are doing here at this blog. And for that, he deserves respect… not that he’d want it from someone like myself.
So, was the ‘Hunter S. Thompson’ posturing intentional or accidental? Serious or tongue in cheek?
Good advice, Sheldon.
Sheldon we have met more than a couple of times in Shinchon by chance and thus I can not claim to really know you. I fully agree with the Marmot and his advice. I have been here for a great number of years and I am always amazed at just how little I know about this country and its past. It is a great country (there are those on the Blog who would disagree) and there is so much to learn.
I would definitely encourage you to learn the language; it helps so much in your daily life, and to be here for so long and not to know the language is almost a slap in the face. While I was not a big fan of ROKon, I did respect your efforts and I am sure that you had your niche, as do all the magazines done by expats in Seoul.
I think it is great that you have a dream of writing and running a magazine and I encourage you to keep trying to reach your lofty goals. Truly, the loss of the magazine must have hurt, but it is something that you can use as an experience - something that can compel you to do better.
With respect
correction - Shelton
Scott Bug is one of several expats that I try to give as much space to as possible — I have this fear he’ll say just the right thing and, like, break my brain or something.
Yes, I need to learn Korean. My fear is I’ll keep thinking I’m about to leave and wake up and have been here like 30 years and only be able to order a beer. If anyone knows a cute young lady interested in language exchange I’m game.
I tell the following story about ROKon — a young boy goes to a wizard and tells him he wants to learn how to fly. The wizard says, sure.
“Would you like a smoke?” the wizard asks.
“Sure,” says the boy.
The wizard puts the cig in the boy’s mouth and just as he is lighting it, he splashes a magic potion on the boy. The young man bursts into flames!
“Help, help, I’m on fire!”
The young boy collapses on the ground, dead with fire shooting off his body until he’s just charred flesh.
Then…it’s gone…and he looks at himself and it’s like it didn’t happen….he remembers what it felt like to burn to death…but he can fly.
That’s why I know the next whatever I do like ROKon will be a success. I was on fire…and now I can fly.
C’mon…it’s a hoot!
You don’t want to learn Korean from a “cute young lady” — unless you want to talk like one. Learn Korean from a man.
Professional rivalry?
Scott has posted that he generally hates blogs. So he hates all of us.
Ah yes….I believe I recall reading his writings on zines vs. blogs.
I have a soft spot for zine culture myself, but what can one do? Can’t put the WWW genie back in the bottle.
Funny, though, I can remember before the “white guy in Korea” blog craze started.
I’m familiar with Scott’s favored haunts and hope to have a sighting of him someday, as I have of the Marmot. I suspect they are both hard to miss.
Hi SomeguyinKorea, if Hunter S. Thompson was into critical theory, semiotics and kimchi then yes the pose was intentional.
Robert, I’m surprised you’re not a fan of my work since 5 or 6 years ago in my zine I was doing photo series of historic urban areas of Korea and writing little micro-essay captions under each photo. Sound familiar?
ZenKimchi, I like two or three English-language blogs on Korea including Gusts of Popular Feeling and Occidentalism but that’s about it. Most could be better edited and written, but hey, maybe I’m just picky.
Dogbertt, my rivalry with Robert is not professional but apparently ideological — mostly on his end, I would say. Anyway, I agree that ROKon was a hoot to read and look forward to seeing what the Bumster will come up with next. Anyway, feel free to drop me an email if you’d like to have a chinwag over beverages sometime… the honor would be mine!
Thanks, Scott, I’ll do that. I’ll also catch your interview this Saturday on 그 것이 알고 싶다.
I agree wholeheartedly that Gusts of Popular Feeling and Occidentalism are great blogs.
I was unaware that there was a rivalry between me and you, Scott, ideological or otherwise.
“I was unaware that there was a rivalry between me and you, Scott, ideological or otherwise.”
So that guy with the dancing bug on his homepage has a name. I stumbled across that site awhile ago and didn’t wait for the song to finish. Indeed, Robert,however tiny Korea’s expatsphere, there will always be room for the both of you.
Most could be better edited and written, but hey, maybe I’m just picky.
Spoken like a true wanker.
What I want to know is when Zane’s performance will be available on DVD.
“ZenKimchi, I like two or three English-language blogs on Korea including Gusts of Popular Feeling and Occidentalism but that’s about it. Most could be better edited and written, but hey, maybe I’m just picky.”
That explains it.
Scott Bug.
Is the book available/going to be available in English?
Hoju_saram, people like you are the reason I don’t like most blogs.
Robert, when are you going to get real and stop writing puff pieces for the Seoul “Citizens Happy Upgrade” City government?
Bradley, there’s no plan for an English edition of Korea Consumer Report because many of the essays are already on my site, but Korea Bug is in English and a revised edition of Maximum Korea is in the works, cheers.
This is what I mean, Scott. When I said I’m not a fan of yours, it’s not because of your work, which, frankly speaking, I like for the most part. It’s stuff like comment #23: I managed to say something nice about you above and how do you respond — by insulting my work.
And since you ask, Scott, I like writing puff pieces for the Seoul “Citizens Happy Upgrade” City government. Or, to put it differently, I like being a “government hack.” Granted, it’s not hard-hitting social criticism, and yes, there’s a lot of room for improvement for both the magazine and me personally, but I enjoy it, I like the people I work with, and I value the opportunity to promote Korea and the City of Seoul.
Not, of course, that I need to explain myself to you.
Besides, what’s with the stone-throwing, if one’s going to appear on SBS’ ‘그 것이 알고 싶다’? It’s not like that qualifies as associating with the best of Korean journalism.
Robert, when are you going to get real and stop writing puff pieces for the Seoul “Citizens Happy Upgrade” City government?
I take it by “getting real” you mean experimenting with “rigorous cultural criticism with a bracing, adrenaline-charged punk spirit.”
I guess there is a market for mean-spirited irrelevence masquerading as cutting-edge, urban-hip, up-front, no-holds-barred zinestering. Not that I’m judging, of course. I used to want to be cool too.
Seriously dude, if that’s your thing, that’s your thing, but why bag out other people - like Robert - doing what suits them?
And by “getting real,” you must mean parading your douchebag pals onstage to dance around in a strap-on zuchini dildo while chucking yogurt.
Oooooh, what a clever interpretation of “worldwide Americanization.” One question there Queen: Does your pathetic, third-rate faux-Hunter routine fall under the Americanization banner? Or do you conveniently provide your own blatant ripoff of an American icon schtick a big, fat-as-a-zuchini exception?
Come on Robert, it’s time to get real. Dedicate yourself to mocking others with vegetable sex-toys and dairy projectiles, all the while indulging in the very behavior you mock.
Brendon wrote:
“You don’t want to learn Korean from a ‘cute young lady’—unless you want to talk like one. Learn Korean from a man.”
Or a conservative girl from the provinces who’ll tell you to speak Korean like a man.
Comments 15, 23, and 27 are nothing short of performance art.
IHBB, I am in awe. You’ve outbugged the bug.
My name is 무관심.
Robert, I’m sorry, I forgot that unlike every other writer or journalist in the public sphere, you are above criticism because you work for the local government.
Apologies for my profound ignorance!
Honestly, I thought the review of this book was a hoot, or at least the promotion of it. Some guy dancing around in front of a bunch of Korean college students with some phallic object topped off with a yogurt cup climax. The review called it a “bizarre shamanistic ritual” but it seems more reminiscent of a casting call for the next white tool looking to host an English language show on EBS Korea. True, Korean society may well be like a “perverted high school,” but sadly it is fair to say that there will never be a shortage of expats eagerly willing to degrade themselves as cheerleaders on the sidelines.
When your selling snake oil to the Koreans a little anti Americanism can never hurt though, even if your little song and climax is far from original. Who ever thought the nightly news could be a muse for such artistic genius? It appears Koreans aren’t the only ones feeling no shame in stealing others work for their own profit. The author of this book calling the Marmot’s Hole unoriginal? Has about as much merit as Koreans claiming Google stole the Korean invention of the search engine.
Alright, Scott, whatever.
For any who don’t know, ‘그 것이 알고 싶다’ is a TV news-magazine sort of program. But it’s Fox, not BBC - for example, they ran this in the wake of English Spectrum (some additional detail provided by the Chosunhere. Due to the timing of the broadcast, and the way in which the piece was codged together, it simply served to foster doubt about and outrage with a general population on non-Koreans, rather than inform people about a condition which describes only a few.
In the case of Burgeson’s upcoming appearance, the show’s host will doubtless make a direct or indirect inferential link to ‘foreigners’, and thus we’ll all end up paying the price for it.
Say, Scott, be sure to bring an extra cup of yogurt with you, because they’ll doubtless want you to strap on your vegetal codpiece and dance about. Or will that be comped out to you?
Zucchini and yogurt? Please. Performance fart.
Based on what? The fact that he didn’t fall to his knees and beg forgiveness for his “sins” once you so “sagely” (and “wittily,” don’t forget “wittily”) pointed them out?
Whatever, buddy. Get over yourself. “King Baeksu”? To steal a line from a true cultural icon, “Where’s your crown, King Nothing?”
“for many years, he has lived in a series of yeogwans”
Saw Mr. Baeksu on the SBS show (wearing sunglasses indoors) saying 70 to 80 percent of Koreans don’t need to learn English, a figure that sounded like it was plucked from his derriere. Based on his extensive sociological studies? Don’t think so.
By the way, there’s a fine line between acerbic and petty.
i lived my final year in korea without reading blogs, without visiting Dave’s ESL, and without paying attention to discussions that either try to figure korea out, or try to point the finger at its many problems. it simply gets old and played out. people who enter the fold too eagerly simply need a scapegoat to sh!t on beyond themselves.
who cares. people who write books about why korea sucks are losers.
Eh, who cares about you? Let’s talk about me! ME! I live in Korea! Dude, it’s like all different or something! I’m not down with that!
People tell me I’m amazing, and they’re right!!!
I need a bottle of whiskey!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just pick yourself up Shelton and drive on. Think about all the other people before you who has gone through these hardships - everyone goes through them. Makes you better and gives you that emotion and fire - a desire for revenge - that will make your writing all that much better in the future
Too bad Shelton’s cry for help vanished into thin air.
Hey, no fair Mr. Bum, put that comment back!
korea needs more self-important waygooks to comment on everything from kimchee to the mating rituals of drunken men. there simply isn’t enough information about these things, and it takes bravery to live in a goshiwan and research such an alien culture. canadian english teachers who pollute itaewon are not worthy of being here unless they make lots of korean friends and study the language. not enough of them start blogs that make clever use of the word kimchee in their titles.
I don’t know who King Baeksu is but I agree with what he said on the SBS show.
I just came back from vacation, and didn’t catch it. What did he say?
#43
here here!
Nice one dinkus maximus.
When you talking loudly in a darkened cinema, everyone can hear, but you can’t see whose listening.
I can’t imagine anything that screams “Hey, look at me, I’m a douchebag!” more than that.
Well, except maybe going on tour with a zuchini-dildo wearing pal who chucks yogurt.
Or prattling on about the evils of Americanization while doing a piss-poor rip-off of an American icon.
And possibly calling yourself King.
I’m sure there are more, but luckily my knowledge of the Queen is limited. Without question, he deserves credit for having all his douchebaggery bases covered. That takes a particular talent.
I liked the part about him living in Seoul with no fixed address for years.
And Dinkie, I guess blogs on Korea also need more of the sock that coincidentally shows up every time Bumgarner posts something, huh Dinkie?
King Baeksu doesn’t like blogs because he can read about all the people laughing at him.
Stop it now.
Wow, did you apply for a patent on that?
Nobody beats the king…
I mean the Mattress King!
http://www.mattresskingcolo.com/
I often used to run into Scott around the Jongno area when I lived in Seoul, as I’m sure many people have. So he fell into the trap of portraying himself as an expert of things he has little clue. Big deal. Many expats do. Mind you his “zine” are particularly poor.
I’d like to congratulate Shelton for his finest posting yet by teasing Robert and Scott out onto the mattress together.
I look forward to hearing more of the ideological clash, professional rivalry, and their apparent race to become Korean before the other.
Wow, I am impressed and flattered by how much attention I am receiving on this site!
I must say, one must require a particularly large penis to be able to name call and dis others anonymously online…
Again, very impressive indeed!
Obviously, or you wouldn’t keep coming back to see what people are saying about you… especially as a self-professed blog hater…
As big as a yogurt-squirting zucchini?