English Teacher: The Movie?

Is this for real? Here’s the film’s synopsis:

Patrick, a young American college grad, journeys to Seoul, South Korea to teach English. Jeff, a friend-of-a-friend, puts him up in his filthy, little apartment and finds him a job teaching Yoon Hee, a university student from a prosperous family. There is an easy chemistry between them, and they soon fall in love.

Soon after, Patrick discovers Seoul’s night life. He is enticed by the seemingly endless possibilities and eventually loses control. Sex and drugs begin to consume him, and he is robbed of all his money.

Yoon Hee becomes pregnant. Patrick suggests an abortion. She is horrified and breaks up with him. Her father finds out, charges Patrick with rape, and sends Yoon Hee to an obscure village.

Patrick realizes that he has made a terrible mistake. He must win Yoon Hee back and flee the country with her before it’s too late. But first, he has to recover his money from Klaus to pay for their flight to America. Desperate situations require desperate actions. In a world without rules, Patrick must make his own.

Sounds like my life in a nutshell when I was teaching English. Except for the getting consumed by sex and drugs, getting chicks pregnant, being charged with rape and getting ripped off by guys named Klaus parts.

Be sure to check out the trailer on the website.

(Big tip of the hat to Lost Nomad)

27 Comments

  1. newspaperman your flag
    Posted December 16, 2006 at 8:19 pm | Permalink

    Robert,

    Absolutely not. Look at the production value. The quick cuts. The hammy trailer. The (lack of a) plot! You’re right to ask if it’s real…

    I’ve been getting a lot of calendars in the mail recently… perhaps it’s April 1?

  2. newspaperman your flag
    Posted December 16, 2006 at 8:24 pm | Permalink

    Damn. Posted too soon.

    http://web.mac.com/rgaudio/iWe.....B9A1C.html

    RICHARD GAUDIO, B. Ed., WGC, ACTRA
    teacher • writer • filmmaker

    CREDITS

    Film & Television / Theatrical Writing / Educational Writing / Performances
    professional
    RICHARD GAUDIO, B. Ed., WGC, ACTRA
    teacher • writer • filmmaker

    Film & Television

    Shredded: A Documentary About Boys & Body Image
    Writer Richard Gaudio
    Directors Douglas Taplin & Richard Gaudio
    Producer: Jennifer Torrance
    The National Film Board of Canada.
    30:00 Documentary. 2005.

    The Young Wounded Healer
    Writer Producer Director Richard Gaudio
    The Christian Medical & Dental Society.
    10:00 Promotional. 2005.

    The English Teacher
    Producers Sebastian Woolf & Richard Gaudio
    Written & Directed by Sebastian Woolf
    55:00 Drama. 2005.

  3. hardyandtiny your flag
    Posted December 16, 2006 at 8:39 pm | Permalink

    I don’t think it’s actually a movie, but it’s funny, they did a pretty good job. Isn’t that Rico in The Loft?

  4. Posted December 16, 2006 at 9:23 pm | Permalink

    The character Klaus, referred to in the fourth paragraph in the synopsis, is not previously mentioned. Is he a drug dealer? International businessman? Friend? Jeffrey’s student?^^

  5. R. Elgin your flag
    Posted December 16, 2006 at 10:46 pm | Permalink

    The scenario sounds more like a video game and a highly entertaining one: can the player guide Patrick to find his money, his love and get out of the country in time?

    It could have the option of having all the Korean characters speak in Korea, thus helping one learn the language better.

  6. seouldout your flag
    Posted December 17, 2006 at 12:21 am | Permalink

    Back in the day when many of the non-military foreigners were smugglers there was “Queen Bee”. Now most are English teachers. “Queen Bee” was cliché-riddled tripe, and the “English Teacher” looks to be. Ought to be good fun.

    Are the foreign actors fined and deported after the premiere?

  7. gbevers your flag
    Posted December 17, 2006 at 4:01 am | Permalink

    It looks interesting. I just hope they remembered to go to the Korea Media Rating Board to get approval for the film, or there may be more foreigners getting deported.

  8. railwaycharm your flag
    Posted December 17, 2006 at 9:52 am | Permalink

    This has to be a put on! It looks like a SFS senior Sony Handi cam project.

  9. Posted December 17, 2006 at 10:13 am | Permalink

    A better plot would be…
    “A homo comes to Korea to teach English. He has some relationship with Korean homos. Then, a nice girl moves in next door. And, she is different from a western woman. She is not possessive and she is giving. He falls in love with this girl despite of his sexual orientation. One night, during drunken stupor, he tries hetero-sex. Booyah. It fits. He is cured.

    Title; Healed in Korea.

  10. railwaycharm your flag
    Posted December 17, 2006 at 11:01 am | Permalink

    Baduk,

    This has promise!

    The Jongno Homo and the Poji surprise. The one pillow bitter that got sucked OUT of the lifestyle!

  11. Posted December 17, 2006 at 11:27 am | Permalink

    Baduk,

    The problem with that is that there are no gays in Korea - a country that has four seasons, BTW.

  12. jdog2050 your flag
    Posted December 17, 2006 at 1:34 pm | Permalink

    I really hope this isn’t real. Only because it’s about time that an actual “english teacher” movie be made, and I could think of about 8000 ideas better than this one.

  13. railwaycharm your flag
    Posted December 17, 2006 at 5:17 pm | Permalink

    A real story where the English teacher has less virtue than the loser in this hack’s rag?

  14. Posted December 17, 2006 at 9:54 pm | Permalink

    The greatest theme for movies is about breaking down ideologies with animal love, a sort of “LOVE conquers it all” type of theme.

    This KKK-racist comes to Seoul as an English teacher to escape the law. While teaching a bunch of female college students, he gets mad about one who is very anti-American. He imprisons this most vitrous viper in his apartment and taunts her about Korean history, Communism and Korean morals.

    However, while doing this, he gets interested in her body. He starts to touch her and kiss her while she is bound. (Don’t call me a boundage freak).

    She pretends not getting aroused at all. She recites Kim Jongil’s words. But, the more he does stuff, she gets excited.

    When he passes out after giving her an oral(it was the greatest experience of his life and he was incredible), she escapes. However, instead of escaping, she wants revenge. With his gun, she tells him to do what she tells him. Strangely, she wants him to it again. He reluctantly obliges while calling her names. (Don’t call me an SM freak and into trash talk during sex)

    While he is doing it, she loses control and lowers the gun. She is kissing him all over. This love thing is bigger than both ideologies, racism and xenophobia. They **** their brains out that night. Their memories, experiences and knowledges get wiped clean. He becomes a democrat and she a pro-American rahrah girl.

    The next scene is that this lovey-dovey couple attend a day care center with a bunch of preschoolers. They have to learn alphabets and Hangul all over again; they brains are empty.

  15. Posted December 17, 2006 at 10:13 pm | Permalink

    These two very political man and woman found out they are not smart enough to comprehend the meaning of universe and the advancement of history.

    They were two orphan marmots in a very big, complex and lonely universe. Two baby marmots.

    They embrace each other. And, love each other.

    Merry Christmas everyone!

  16. seouldout your flag
    Posted December 17, 2006 at 10:25 pm | Permalink

    A man in a yellow hat comes to Korea. He knocks them out of the trees, cuts off their tails, and tries to teach them. They just throw their scat at the man in the yellow hat.

    HT to Hans & Margaret Rey.

  17. Gerno your flag
    Posted December 18, 2006 at 7:21 am | Permalink

    hardandtiny, that is indeed Rico.

  18. headache your flag
    Posted December 19, 2006 at 2:01 am | Permalink

    That looks like the biggest sack of film-student cocks if it’s real… apart from the bit with the naked bloke hobbling down an alley like a monkey. That bit STAYS

  19. Gerno your flag
    Posted December 19, 2006 at 7:28 am | Permalink

    It is real, I was an extra sitting at the bar in The Loft (When Rico was running it) probably 3 years ago. I guess quality productions can take a while to get out of the editing stage. As we could all see from the trailer, we are talking possibly PIFF material.

  20. Herod your flag
    Posted December 19, 2006 at 10:21 am | Permalink

    Foreigners in Korea had better hope it doesn’t run at PIFF. Koreans will regard every negative stereotype of English teachers in the film as being 100% accurate and at the same time scream blue murder about the “denigration” of Korean women in it. That scene of white-man-atop-Korean-girl alone will get the netizens foaming at the mouth. Somehow I think PIFF will turn it down too.

  21. railwaycharm your flag
    Posted December 19, 2006 at 12:13 pm | Permalink

    You are all getting out ahead of yourselves. This hunk of tripe will never see the light of day at the Ilsan film festival.

  22. railwaycharm your flag
    Posted December 19, 2006 at 12:18 pm | Permalink

    Now, a real piece of cinematography would be to put “The Keys to The Kingdom” on film. Show the bar girls swindling poor GI’s out of their pay for watered down drinks and sob stories of sick mothers in hospital. This is neither brave nor interesting. The little Hunji chup getting some white boy pork sword is nothing out of the ordinary. Film something the rank and file will find remotely interesting.

  23. Posted December 19, 2006 at 2:25 pm | Permalink

    Railwaycharm,

    How did you get your hands on Keys to the Kingdom? I thought that I had destroyed the last surviving hardcopy of that mystical tome in 2001.

  24. railwaycharm your flag
    Posted December 19, 2006 at 5:16 pm | Permalink

    Mark… that great literary piece will never die. It is the true rubric to this fair fiefdom! When it dies, our journey will die with it! Keep the faith!

  25. Remort your flag
    Posted December 20, 2006 at 12:27 am | Permalink

    Cool! You can apparently now get drugs in Korea outside of just Itaewon.

    I hope it’s a real movie, I can’t wait to get my bootleg copy for W2,000.

    –Remort

  26. snow your flag
    Posted December 20, 2006 at 5:55 pm | Permalink

    This is a movie made by expats. I know cause I know some of the people involved. And some of the ideas may have been ripped off by a Korean/American director named Won-suk Chin who is currently working on a similar themed movie-called ‘Expats’ slated for release next year. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0408764/

  27. Herod your flag
    Posted December 20, 2006 at 6:36 pm | Permalink

    They say the first movie on a certain theme invariably makes more money. I see the English Teacher grossing about 50 thousand dollars worldwide. Expats maybe half that.

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