The Marmot’s Hole

You got to love it when the Onion hits a story that CNN misses:

N. Korea Detonates 40 Years Of GDP

“This is a grand day for the Democratic Peoples Republic Of Korea, whose citizens have sacrificed their wages, their food, and their lives so that our great nation could test a nuclear weapon thousands of feet beneath our own soil,” read an excerpt from the statement. “Now the rest of the world must stand up and take notice that the DPRK, too, is capable of decimating years of its wealth at any given moment.”…

Across the country, North Korean citizens cheered wildly after learning their nation had violently transformed the equivalent of 2.3 billion hot meals, 11 million housing units, and 1,700 hospitals into their component atoms. Others celebrated by gleaning recently harvested rice paddies for leftover grains…A North Korean diplomat defended the decision, saying that citizens “need to make certain sacrifices so their country can afford the basic human right of national security.”…

Yet, despite North Korea’s claim that it will proceed with further nuclear testing, the international community is skeptical of whether it has the means to do so, in wake of news over the weekend that leader Kim Jong-Il has authorized the use of the remaining three percent of North Korea’s GDP for the construction of six monuments bearing his likeness.