The Marmot’s Hole

What will day 2 of this year’s World Cup quarterfinals provide for us? Yesterday’s fixtures were a mixed bag: a riveting, nerve-racking penalty shootout in the first match and an absolute bludgeoning in the second one. How will tonight’s fixtures prevail? Will they bore us to tears? Will our nerves be so frayed by sunrise tomorrow that sleep will have nothing to do with us? Let’s take a look…

For regular readers of the World Cup posts here at the hole, it is patently obvious that, aside from the five nations representing Africa, my football loyalties lie firmly at the flagpole from which St. George’s Cross flies. My nerves are already shot and kickoff is still more than a third of the day away. I’ve sat here at my terminal and excoriated everything in this World Cup from the referees to Korea and its legion of football-ignorant fans to Italy’s disgraceful Tinkerbell footballing style to Ukraine and Serbinegro’s execrable kits to whatever else has crossed my rabid mind.

To this list, let me add one more thing: the incessant whingeing during this competition by England’s players. From Becks’s lamentations after England’s opening match about how “warm” it was on the pitch (note how he didn’t complain about the heat, but the “warmth” of the weather; who the hell complains about THAT? “Uh, honey, I don’t think I’m going to work today because it’s too cool outside. If it were negative thirty (-30) out, I’d brave it, but since it’s about 15 degrees Celsius, I don’t think I’ll chance it.”) to needing their wives and kids at the team hotel to boost their morale to Paul Robinson’s ridiculous claim that the state of the pitches are hindering England’s fabled passing game (er, Paul, England’s passing style of late is to huck it long to Ichabod Crouch in hopes that he’ll put his melon on it; the pitch has nothing to do with this crappy style of footie. Such a style can be done in a car park, a bamboo forest, or on an iceberg).

For the love of Shiva, fut the shuck up and play, England! You’re beginning to make Cristiano Ronaldo seem like a gracious man of class who ought to be knighted.

Okay, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, England are going to win tonight and here’s why: I have to get ONE prediction right out of four, don’t I?

Portugal are going to have their depth seriously tested in this match. Because of suspensions, they are going to be missing midfielders Deco and Costinha, who would be so crucial for Portugal in this battle between two talented midfields. The aforementioned Ronaldo is still suffering from a thigh injury suffered in the previous match with Holland and it’s still unclear at this time of writing whether or not he’ll play. Pretty boy though he is, my money is on his playing, which would boost Portugal’s chances.

Regardless, with Portugal’s two most important midfielders (begging Figo’s pardon, of course), England are going to have to take advantage of it by NOT HUCKING IT LONG for Ichabod. Gary Neville is apparently fit, which is bad news, in my opinion, for England because his form of late has been as effective as a box of dental floss in Parkinson’s Nursing Home for the Toothless. Neville’s presence relegates Michael Carrick to the sideline and puts Hargreaves in the holding role in the middle. Lampard tweaked an ankle in training on Thursday, but it seems as if he’ll be in the starting XI tonight, which, given his poor shooting performance of late, may not be as good a thing as one might usually be inclined to think.

In the end, I think the difference will be a fast-improving Wayne Rooney. He looked much better against Ecuador a few days ago and should be even sharper tonight. If he is, then England will play a more grounded passing game and not the dreaded huck ‘n’ chuck. He will be able to put pressure on Portugal’s fine back line of Carvalho, Meira, Nuno Valente, and Miguel and create chances for himself, Crouch, Cole, and a rampaging Stevie Gerrard. And, if Ronaldo is indeed not fit, who will step forward for the Portuguese in his stead?

Though Portugal and their coach, Luiz Felipe Scolari, have a bit of hex over England, and England have arguably looked consistently the worst of the eight quarterfinalists, England bring their “A” game tonight and edge Portugal to advance to a semifinal showdown with Brasil or France.

Speaking of which, though the French, it seems, have begun to hit their stride, Brasil, while perhaps lucky to have escaped Ghana, are still Brasil.

This is a marquee matchup, as was the Germany-Argentina match, because it pits the winners of the last three Cups (Brasil in ‘94 & ‘02 and France in ‘98), it features two three-time winners of FIFA’s world Player of the Year (Ronaldo and Zidane), and it’s a matchup of two nations with so much footballing history.

France are often accused of being too old and there’s no doubt that they are an ageing team. So, too, are Brasil, the difference being that Brasil’s young guns sitting on the bench are in more quantity, if not quality, than are France’s.

Brasil midfielders Kaka and Emerson look set to miss the match through injury, paving the way for Juninho and Gilberto Silva to replace them. Many Brasilians would also like to see Adriano, Ze Roberto, Cafu, and Roberto Carlos sit in favour of some hungrier, more talented, and (in some cases) younger stars-in-waiting pining away on the bench, but don’t expect too much gambling from coach Carlos Alberto Parreira on this front. Perhaps Robinho for Adriano, but that might be the only one.

Ghana exposed Brasil’s fragile defense and, were it not for some bad fortune, poor finishing, and nervous decisions on Ghana’s part, the match might have ended differently. France, with all of their experience, will not be unnerved at the sight of glorious scoring chances and could expose the Brasil backline as the shaky frauds I believe them to be. Zidane, Henry, and the young Ribery could run circles around this defense.

This is a match I’m having a hard time calling. I have no vested interest in either team and, should England win, playing either nation would get my (and every other England supporter’s) blood pumping: playing Brasil would bring a chance to avenge the devastating quarterfinal loss four years ago in Japan, but England v. France? Nothing more need be said.

As with Argentina v. Germany, I’m hoping for at least extra time. In the end, because of Brasil’s injury situation, I believe it’s going to give Parreira a chance late in the match, and perhaps extra time, to insert some of his youngsters, who are going to be the difference and Brasil will edge les bleus for the right to face England.

Of course, don’t believe anything I say. I chose Argentina and Ukraine in last night’s matches…