the all-lower case assault continues. avert your eyes if too weak to endure.
well, yesterday’s comments were lively, venomous, racist, xenophobic, sad, entertaining, and way off-subject. what is today’s encore?
yesterday’s play in the world cup went pretty much according to plan. switzerland took care of togo, 0-2, but not without some anxious moments (i know some of you hard-core cynics out there hate to have any comments made about refereeing decisions, but the togo penalty claim in the first half that was denied–the one where swiss defender muller blatantly stuck out his foot behind himself to trip up togo’s adebayor, who was going around him for an open shot on goal–was perhaps the most disgraceful refereeing decision of the tournament so far). togo were outgunned, in the end, but were never really out of it and never really too outclassed.
ukraine showed what many of us thought they had–but didn’t show against spain–as they blasted saudi arabia, 0-4, in a dominant performance that has them well on track for the next round. they merely need a draw in their last match with tunisia and hope that saudi don’t humiliate spain by some five- or six-goal margin, which might not even happen were spain to play their players’ children in that match.
in the final game of the day, tunisia got off to a flying start and caused spain some anxious twisting before the spaniards levelled right before the break in the 71st minute or so (sorry for the misinformation and cheers for the correction go to somewhere in france). two goals by fernando torres in the four and nineteen minutes later saw off the north africans and put the iberians into the next round. this sets up a do-or-die for tunisia in their third match, with ukraine. beat ukraine and the carthage eagles are through; a loss or draw to ukraine and tunisia watch the rest of the tournament like the rest of us will.
tonight’s matches provide some entertainment, though not as much as will other group matches tomorrow and later in the week.
group A: this is pretty straightforward. costa rica and poland play each other with nothing but pride on the line. i like costa rica to win, but it doesn’t really matter. the top two teams in the group, ecuador and host germany play and it’s straightforward, as well: ecuador win or draw and they win the group. germany must beat the south americans to win the group. hoping and thinking ecuador will top this group, these two will play the winners and runners-up of…
…group B: this one’s a little more tricky than group A. the matches tonight–and these are the late games–pit sweden v. england and paraguay v. trinibago.
- first, paraguay are out.
- second, england win or draw and they win the group.
- third, if sweden beat england, then sweden win the group and england are second, regardless of what trinibago does.
- fourth, if sweden draw with england, then england win the group, sweden finish second, and trinibago go home, regardless of its result.
- fifth, trinibago can qualify for the knockout stage only under this following scenario, which is plausible: england must beat sweden and trinibago must beat paraguay by a combined four-goal difference. right now, trinibago is -2 on goal difference while sweden are +1. so, if england win, 0-3, and trinibago win, 0-1, then trinibago and sweden would finish level on points (4), but trinibago will have a better goal difference, -1 to sweden’s -2.
- sixth, trinibago can qualify for the knockout stage under the following scenario, as well, also feasible: england and trinibago win by a combined three goals and the soca warriors score two more goals against paraguay than do sweden against england. thus, if england win, 1-2, then trinibago must win score at least three goals AND win by two goals, so at least 1-3. thus, sweden and trinibago are level on points (4) and goal difference (0), but trinibago’s goals for is 3, while sweden’s is 2.
- seventh, i don’t want to think about it because it hurts too much, but some sort of lottery, panty raid, farting contest, penalty kick shootout, or limbo party would determine who goes through…
perhaps trying to figure the permutations of the rest of the groups for the rest of the week will get you guys off using the comments to accost one another verbally and comically.
anyway, in group B, my head says sweden and england draw, sending them both through. my heart says that somehow england and trinibago wrangle wins by enough margins to send trinibago through to the second round. under either scenario i’m predicting, ecuador would play sweden/trinibago at the weekend while sven’s men would play the hosts.
my, oh, my, welcome to the round of 16 were the latter to occur. not a bad way to kickoff the knockout stages, eh?
16 Comments
I hope England spanks the Swendish nancy-boys so bad that they invade Demark and Norway in the hope of fielding a unified Scandinavian team in 2010.
I agree, there should be more spanking, and maybe some baby oil……oops, sorry wrong website!
I don’t know what’s come over me, but if England meet Germany in the last 16, I’d wager my right nut on England winning - unless, of course, it goes to penalties.
Go Ecuador!
C’m on, Andy, the most nancy guy of the whole tournament is Beckham, err, BackHam. England never won anything important in an international football tournament since 1966, although they had always awesome players in their teams. I’m all for the IKEA boys - a really sympathetic bunch. And take a look at their female fans… Geez!
Danger Danger, thats some mighty high stakes your putting out there. Maybe a right arm is a better bet. I wouldn’t count out Germany. They are by and large and average squad and their defense can be quite porous but they have been much more consistent in international competition in recent years in finishing. Klose’s play isn’t pretty but the man finishes. And corners are always a German threat with their heads being some of the most talented in the game.
In this cup and the last it seemed for England that pressuring the keeper was the best way to create opportunities, so…here’s a question for you…Why doesn’t England swap Gerrard and Lampard? Gerrard has got the gun for a leg and doesn’t seem magnetically attracted to the goalie. Lampard meanwhile is far more aggressive and diligent in going to the ball but can’t seem to avoid shooting directly at the goalie.
Mr. Chips.
True enough about Germany. I don’t quite know why I’m so certain they are going out; you’ll be able to gloat to your heart’s content if and when I’m proved wrong.
I wouldn’t personally swap Lampard or Gerrard at the moment - despite appearances to the contrary, they are the two best central midfielders England have. If they still fail to click against Sweden, then perhaps take one of them off, push Beckham inside and throw Lennon on. As I said elsewhere, he’s one of the few England players who looked dangerous against T&T.
And would you honestly rather lose your right arm than your right nut? The again, it would then feel like someone else was doing it.
On second thoughts, go crazy! If England are playing like shit by half-time, take Beckham off too and give Carrick a game in the holding role.
Oops! Just remembered that Gerrard’s not playing tonight. Nonetheless, if England are playing like shit, take Hargreaves and Beckham off, put Carrick and Lennon on.
Re: “tunisia got off to a flying start and caused spain some anxious twisting before the spaniards levelled right before the break. ” since when is 70 minutes before the break?
Spain were total pants in the first half apparently suffering from either Lampard-disease or Crouch-sydrome i.e. the total inability to place a shot actually in the goal mouth
Danger Mouse,
Didn’t you lose your left nut during the last World Cup?
Iceberg,
Yes. This is double or quits.
easy, there, dirty dingus. not all of us go through life mistake-free like you. i stand corrected, regardless…
I make many mistakes, including, apparently, making this ccomment. I was trying for a humourous correction, probably doesn’t come across well in text…
well, i did wonder that maybe you were trying to be humourous. my bad for jumping to the wrong conclusion…
Germany 3 Ecuador 0; England 2 Sweden 2…
For your sake, Mouse, I hope you were born with three nuts.
Oh ye of little faith.