Help this man get laid

by Robert Koehler on May 17, 2006

in Completely Random Crap

Humanitarians that we are here at the Marmot’s Hole, we feel duty-bound to direct traffic to A Virgins Plea. Who could read this cry for help and not be moved to tears:

So, here’s the story – I’m 25, and to this date, have never been laid. Yes, it’s sad, but it’s true. The whole story, however, is far more interesting than just the lack of sex.

When I was 21, I was engaged to be married to a woman I thought I would be with for the rest of my life, and the two of us had chosen to wait until marriage to have sex so we could share something special with each other. But when I was 22, just six months before our wedding, I discovered that she had been cheating on me and sleeping with another man. Needless to say, I was crushed. For the last 3 years I haven’t really been able to bring myself to start dating again as the pain of that betrayal still runs deep inside of me. But as a man, the overwhelming urge to have sex is just starting to get to be too much for me to handle, and so I made a bet with one of my very hot (but also very platonic) female friends – if I can get 5 million visitors to this website in 30 days, she has agreed to help me with my “problem”. If I can’t get to five million in 30 days, I have to be her personal servant for a week, doing anything she asks me to do.

So this site is my attempt to get to 5 million hits in 30 days. The site started on May 1st, 2006, so I have 15 days left to make the bet, and so far, the total number of visitors is: 3120388.

Click on over and help the young man out.

(HT to the Daily Source Code)

{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

1 baker May 17, 2006 at 10:55 am

http://www.helpwinthisbet.com/404/

this kind of thing has been done before

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2 Opus May 17, 2006 at 11:00 am

Imitation is the best form of flattery.

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3 slim May 17, 2006 at 11:12 am

My first thought: “Bluejives?”

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4 jonnyh May 17, 2006 at 11:25 am

He might learn more from the personal servant experience.

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5 Hojuin May 17, 2006 at 11:43 am

My Lord!

has anyone looked at the mans myspace ? assuming that is him in the profile pic it is downright cruel to expect a girl to have sex with him, even for money I’d suggest.

peace.

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6 solongo May 17, 2006 at 11:57 am

Yeah right… If this guy is a virgin then Hugh Hefner’s a virgin too. I smell bullshit.

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7 solongo May 17, 2006 at 12:03 pm

Ok I take back what I said, I wrote the previous comment without seeing his photo, after Hojuin mentioned I checked his site, and I think that even after 5000000 hits his chance to get laid is nada (0) zero, nooli.

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8 Robert May 17, 2006 at 12:14 pm

Jesus, ain’t you people got a heart?

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9 jonnyh May 17, 2006 at 12:48 pm

I for one, am heartless.

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10 iheartblueballs May 17, 2006 at 1:08 pm

if the sexsearch.com ad at the top of the page doesn’t tell you all you need to know, you does nay know the internets.

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11 Sperwer May 17, 2006 at 2:28 pm

Picture aside, this guy deserves a Darwin Award and a forced sterilization for being stupid enough to make the bet of one tumble against a week of indentured servitude.

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12 michael May 17, 2006 at 5:09 pm

I’ll bet that Al Gore regrets he invented the Internet now.

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13 Iceberg May 17, 2006 at 6:05 pm

I’m fairly certain Al met Tipper through exactly the same kind of bet.

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14 gbnhj May 17, 2006 at 6:27 pm

This guy needs to get in touch with that Shin-Donga reporter to find out when the next sex-bus is due to roll by.

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15 Sonagi May 17, 2006 at 9:11 pm

That’s an ingenious way to look attractive to advertisers. I am NOT going to click into his site.

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16 Katz May 17, 2006 at 9:31 pm

The normal is to be virgin until marriage, isn’t it? Nothing to feel shame about.

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17 Iceberg May 17, 2006 at 9:47 pm

Whatever gives you comfort, son. Whatever gives you comfort.

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18 michael May 17, 2006 at 10:19 pm

The normal is…the One-Eyed Monk must live free!

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19 Katz May 17, 2006 at 10:25 pm

Can I f* your wife?

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20 Iceberg May 17, 2006 at 10:25 pm

The normal is as the normal does.

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21 Iceberg May 17, 2006 at 10:34 pm

Can I f* your wife?

Haha! There it is, son! We knew you had it in ‘ya. Let that inner-demon rush to the surface. God will forgive you in the morning.

But to answer your question: I doubt it.

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22 michael May 17, 2006 at 10:40 pm

Well son, that would not be the normal. However, if you spank the bishop we won’t tell a soul.

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23 gbnhj May 17, 2006 at 11:10 pm

Can I f* your wife?

This is roughly the point where either the blog gets shut down, or Marmot starts to charge for Katz’ kink.

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24 Robert May 17, 2006 at 11:28 pm

This is the point where Katz either learns a better retort or gets banned.

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25 slim May 17, 2006 at 11:29 pm

Can I f* your wife?

I’d say stick with men. You shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce and pass your values on to another generation.

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26 Katz May 17, 2006 at 11:36 pm

I think no one understood my point. Should I have added the term “then” at the end of my second comment? I thought If I did so it would lost its salt.

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27 Richardson May 17, 2006 at 11:41 pm

Site updated:

The Story of this Website:

Over the past few days, people have raised several questions about the website avirginsplea.com. I feel it is both my moral and ethical obligation at this point to spare my friend Geoff from any further personal embarrassment.

The site was a viral marketing experiment that got far too out of hand. Geoff was nothing more than a name and a photo – the story and website were created by me and all media were performed by myself.

I apologize to the people of Toronto and everyone from around the world who saw our site. We did not expect this idea to go so far, and the real connections so many of the visitors to the site made to “Geoff’s” story has made this experience especially difficult.

Matthew

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28 RPD May 17, 2006 at 11:42 pm

The site’s been taken down as an admitted hoax/experiment in viral marketing. It got 3.2 million hits in two weeks though.

It’s interesting how many people will click over to ‘help a brother out’.

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29 dogbertt May 18, 2006 at 9:32 am

I thought If I did so it would lost its salt.

You lost your salt a long time ago.

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30 Justin May 18, 2006 at 10:19 am
31 Katz May 18, 2006 at 11:45 pm

Robert, can you ban this Dogbert? He is a troll looking justification for his wrongs.

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