The Marmot’s Hole

By SHELTON BUMGARNER
Marmot’s Hole Guest Blogger

“You mean you’re Shelton Bumgarner?” Meredith said, her eyes all but bugging out of her head.

“Yeah. That’s me,” I said with a shrug and a wry grin.

We were at Watts on Tap in Sinchon. She was with a big group of friends. Meredith is apparently an avid reader of The Marmot’s Hole. She was shocked that I kept writing for the blog, given the amount of written abuse I suffer at the hands of the comment section.

It was that conversation that got me thinking, again, about why people seem so vicious in the Korean blogosphere. At The Marmot’s Hole, I generally understand where people who attack me are coming from — they come to The Marmot’s Hole looking for one type of writing and when I show up it gets them all flustered. I’ve come to expect it — there really isn’t anything I can do to change the situation at this point. People seem to take great glee in doing similar things at my own blog, which I find just strange — why bother to attack me there? Why not just not read the blog? Go outside, go to the park or something.

Recently, things have been taken to the next level. And it’s not upward. I got this delightful bit of prose in the comment section of Migukin a few days ago. I going to get rid of it soon, although I’ll save it elsewhere online for prosperity.

Name: James | E-mail: shelton@goblowyourself.com | URI:IP: 134.29.41.157

You are a loser. Firstly, you’re not an expat; you’re a college kid teaching English in Korea, and teaching poorly I might add. When you’ve lived in Korea for 10 years, you might be able to call yourself an expat.

LOSER: “For years, I wrote under ‘Lee S. Bumgarner,’ blah, blah, blah” Whether you are Lee or Shelton, the end result is the same. Jane Fonda haircut. WOW!! You’re not witty; you’re not funny; you’re a gweeb!

If you’re not serious about teaching English abroad, don’t do it. Stop giving other well-meaning Americans a bad name abroad.

Now, in my mind comparing this to the usual Marmot’s Hole attack is like comparing the recent Pink Panther movie to the original series with Peter Sellers. Marmot’s Hole flames at least somewhat thought out and intelligent. This is one just dumb and nasty.

First of all, I’m not a “college kid teaching English in Korea.” I graduated from college about ten years ago. Secondly, how would this person know if I was “teaching poorly” or not? And to say I was “giving other well-meaning Americans a bad name abroad” simply because I was honest that I was not a trained, professional teacher teaching English in Korea would be like saying, I dunno, something really dumb. Any good-faith observer would conclude that about 99 percent of the non-Korean English teachers in Korea exactly like me — that’s kind of the whole point. That’s what brings people here to begin with — they just need a college degree and the ability to speak native English to teach. Some people are really bad and give everyone else a bad name. Some people, like me, come here, make a lot of mistakes a first but gradually get better — and they come to love Korea and its people.

One bit of all this I found not just dumb but odd.

When you’ve lived in Korea for 10 years, you might be able to call yourself an expat.

Huh?

What an odd thing to say. I have to be in Korea for ten years to be an expat? I generally think after about 3 months or so you can consider yourself an expat and not simply someone who is living outside of your country of birth. That’s the point — at least in my personal experience — that your mind starts thinking of yourself as “the other” who will never fully integrate with Korean society. To say one has to be in country for 10 years is just absurd in my view.

Of all the “blogging” stuff that the Korea Times could write about, I think the vicious nature of the Korean blogosphere would be a pretty good story. What drives people to go absolutely bonkers over something so otherwise harmless as me writing my style writing — with the permission of the owner — at this blog?

Oh, I did a little digging and figure out where James is coming from — ( 134.29.31.124) is Mankato State University. I’m sure the people who run their computer services would appreciate their computers are being used for kind, sweet behavior.