(By guest blogger Andy Jackson)
I wonder how much North Korean booty Anti-Unification Minister Chung Dong-young will have to kiss to make up for this atrocity:
North Korea has threatened to sever military ties with South Korea, accusing Seoul of allowing US troops to flaunt their presence in two border areas used for inter-Korean exchanges and tourism.
In an unusual statement carried by Pyongyang’s official KCNA news agency late Tuesday, the North’s military said South Korea’s "servile" attitude to the United States was putting inter-Korean military relations in jeopardy.
It gets better:
An unnamed North Korean military spokesman, however, insisted in Tuesday’s statement that South Korea had refused to stop US soldiers from "strutting about" in the areas managed by the two Koreas.
I just can’t get the image of American soldiers ’strutting about’ in zoot suits, swinging their chains and looking for trouble. Actually, the Norks were talking about this:
US soldiers have came close to the border line in the JAAs without prior notice, "watching vehicles moving, photographing areas of the north side and jesting its guard personnel on duty by finger and body languages," he said.
"This has created disturbing developments which may escalate confrontation and tension in the above-said areas," he said
Can we count it as progress that the North Koreans didn’t bum rush our zoot suiters with axes?
In any case, I’m sure Chung will find some gift that mollify the Norks.
32 Comments
It maybe a good idea to have some strippers “strut” around. It will knock socks off of these NK. KJI himself may come down and watch(good time for some Marine sharp shooters?).
It may melt this hostility into laughter. Who knows? They may recruit some Russian dancers and reply in kind.
Those nutty Norks. Never a dull moment with them. I guess this means they still need more time to make their atomic bombs huh?
I’m confused… Does this mean they don’t want us at the DMZ? I thought they were complaining because we were handing it off to the ROKs?
“finger languages”
Those chocolate syrup-covered Russian lesbian juicy girls at the DMZ Club in Toka-Ri (Dongducheon-Si) used to provoke me with their strutting about on stage.
Sounds like the Norks want the DMZ added to the USFK off-limits establishment list.
I have always held the belief that every visitor to the DMZ should be handed a huge lunch prior to being visable to the NORK side. No hand signals, no gestures, no “strutting” around, just stuffing huge ammounts of food into our mouths and wasting as much as possible. I’d put a Krispy Creme donut factor in the HQ with a huge neon donuts are cooking sign and give the donuts for free to the SK guardforce, no more TaeKwonDo stance, just lipsmacking torture. I’d leave a huge plate of them everyday on the SK side of the negotiating table with a do not touch sign. FTMF
Lanny Barbie on the DMZ rubbing Krispy Kremes on her breasts. The norks immediately surrender.
Lanny Barbie on the DMZ rubbing Krispy Kremes on her breasts.
Can’t we do better than that? I didn’t know who “Lanny Barbie” was but the Power of Google fixed that in a hurry. Kinda skanky, with misshapen implants. She earns points for her appearances in “Analgeddon”, “White Slave 7″ and “Swallow Every Drop 3″.
But anyone who spells his or her own name differently from one moment to the next loses a lot of points in my book. Her URL is http://www.lannibarbie.com but go to the site [not safe for work, except in my office] and you’ll see big script letters spelling it “Lanny Barby”. And there is body text on the page spelling it “Lanny Barbie” like you do. We have staff in our office like that — one day it’s “Chung”, the next it’s “Jeong”, the day after “Jung”. Drives me crazy.
Krispy Kreme is spelled wrong too, but at least they’re consistent with their brand.
Ahh, but we are in the land of Dragon Donuts so I did not think anyone would mind.
Mr. Carr, I see you are a true porn and donut connoisseur. I salute you.
I know donuts better than porn, but once the idea of Lanny Barbie being the instrument of doom for the DPRK regime, I just *had* to check it out. Plus those video titles were so awesome that it would be negligent not to repeat them here.
Her website is great! Full of enthusiasm! And she LOVES SEX! We know this because it’s written in all capital letters on the home page and because every sentence ends in an exclamation point!
So I guess I can forgive her the minor error of misspelling her own name! The enthusiasm for LOVING SEX took over!
WHO DOESN’T LOVE SEX!! AND DONUTS!!!!
sex with donuts!!!
We have some sex-starved and doughnut-hungry people posting at Marmot’s. Remember his words to us, “Beehave!”.
This has nothing to do with this thread, but check out the final paragraph of this Taipei Times editorial, the top ten things not to say to Chinese tourists. It’s funny!
http://www.taipeitimes.com/New.....2003281531
This is off-topic too, not that there was a topic:
http://www.kahoidong.com/index_e.shtm
Apparently Mayor Lee “Pyramid Builder” Myung-bak is letting the hanok district get bulldozed. Hanok are actually kind of difficult for us modern folk to live in, but it’s Korea’s indigenous architecture–it would be shortsighted to knock them down.
Does anybody know David Kilburn?
I grimaced at this quote from the above link:
“These arrangements were authorised by officials at Chongro-gu who assert ” . . there are no proper regulations governing these matters.”
Which translates as “We don’t care about it”. Like China, “renovation” means “development” which actually means destruction performed for the sake of money. I know if a British or American company tried to do what they are doing, there would be protest over this sort of thing.
I like hanock because they often have holes in the center, like donuts!!
R. Elgin–Funny that you mentioned that quote–a friend of mine used to work at an art gallery in Insa-dong that also had a coffee shop. The bureaucrats in the Chongno district office said the gallery either had to stop selling coffee, or art, because of some arbitrary ruling by the district. They couldn’t give any logical explanation for interfering in a legal business. Meanwhile, it’s OK to demolish hanok in a historical district and turn one of them into a wine bar. I know bureaucrats everywhere are usually about one notch above amoeba in intelligance, but here they seem to be willfully malicious as well.
Sonagi and Michael, thanks for the links.
But in the interest of keeping things on topic and in the interest of getting Marmot’s “Beijing announcement” post up to at least 100 hits, maybe off-topic comments should be posted here.
79 to go
If you’re gonna impersonate me, at least spell my name correctly.
Of course the hypothetical donut plate I mentioned could have a “special” glaze in case the NORKs decide to cheat and steal one. And you know they will, they always do. “nuclear weapon program, oh we cancelled the UA program not the other one…”
Did I see a Krispy Kreme Donuts opening at the Yongsan PX? I saw something. I definitely saw the words Krispy Kreme.
I just found out that I can regulate comments on my posts here. I’ll use my junior assistant blogger power if I have to.
But sex with Krispy Kreme donuts seems OK given the context.
There’s a Krispy Kreme at Sinchon, but I’m not sure if the Kreme is caused by some Korean guy in back having sex with a plain cake donut or not. However, as far as a Krispy Kreme at Yongsan goes, “If you build it, they will cum,” and they would certainly be strutting around in the new DMZ (Donut-Making Zone).
“…An unnamed North Korean military spokesman…”
I’m guessing that would be either “Captain Moon Me One” or “G.I. Suk Yoo Too.”
If strutting about is what’s required, who better than Mick Jagger (scroll down for the best shot)? Of course, some might say that his admission on ‘Some Girls’ - that he ‘just [doesn't] have that much jam’ - might raise doubt over his abilities, but I still say that he could kick the Krispy Kreme out of Lanny Barbie any day.
Oranckay,
If that is really you, the fact that it is you posting that joke is ten times funnier than the joke itself (which wasn’t funny at all).
And frankly, if I were USFK on the DMZ I’d be mooning Norks too so can’t blame ‘em.
Uh…. never mind.
U.S. Troops? Those people who bring cheeseburgers, “freedom fries,” big waistlines and stability to some parts and instability to other parts of the world?
They should send them back to the U.S. where they belong.