To help all those English teachers trying to avoid the supposed Great English Teacher Crackdown, GI Korea gives some friendly advice on how they might be able to pass themselves off as U.S. military personnel:
In the spirit of international cooperation I offer my advice to the fugitive English teachers on how to blend in as an American soldiers to avoid the Korean gestapo that this article leads one to believe is rampaging through this country. First of all, the long hair has got to go. Shave your hair high and tight. Then you need to start wearing some Fubu clothing preferably very baggy. Then buy a big black backpack to carry around with you. Since the vast majority of GI’s cannot drive cars here we rely on these big black bags to carry things in when we go out. That is a dead give away for a GI. Also travel in groups since GI’s tend to travel in groups due to the battle buddy policy. You also need to sun tan with a beret on to get that tan line on your head that only a beret can give you. Finally to top off the image and really fool the getapo wear a Yankees ball cap. With these few simple tips, you should be able to avoid the Korean gestapo and buy enough time to make your escape from the country. That is if it is really that bad to begin with, that you want to escape anyway.
Funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.
7 Comments
Just buy a wife ($50k) or start a business ($50k). Instant visa action.
I don’t understand how the Yankees cap fits into the picture. Do they wear it to cover the tan line or being the best of the best, do they have more empathy towards the baseball team with the same distinction and love/hate from the masses? Hmm.
Similarity with NY Yankees and US Military:
Steinbrenner=Bush II
Massive Warchest
Sports a clean-cut haircut and image.
Proven Track Record
Enemies tend to be irrational fanatics usually sportin’ red clothes with long hair/bad hygiene.
The popularity of the said entity, not very well understood by Europeans(and elsewhere).
Annually must battle along East vs West vs “other” lines sometimes along ideological lines (Pitchers bat?)
I’d like to advise that it’s “advice.”
With the Yankees cap I was thinking more about the number of rip off Yankee hats sold out in the ville that soldiers tend to gobble up plus a Canadian wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a Yankee cap. There are plenty of other things that could be added to the GI disguise such as dog tags, Nascar Jackets, Army unit T-shirts, etc. Just a litle suggestion to help our Canadian friends in their time of need here in Korea.
Why would anyone want to wear a Yankees cap out in public anyway? I mean voluntarily. And sober.
From my experience I would try to avoid looking like an American GI. A friend of mine is a GI living in Korea with his Korean wife. They get all sorts of nasty comments from people when they are out in public. I’ve never had a problem with Koreans in public, and I have a Korean wife too. Funny!
I was inclined to think that the crackdown on Canadian teachers was a spoof, since none of the Korean English-language papers are covering it, but I see it is now in The Chronicle Journal.
Here is the full article:
Canadians being deported from S. Korea for bogus or non-existent credentials
By The Canadian Press
Oct 15, 2005, 00:25
WINNIPEG ? Promised a full-time job teaching young children, Candace Taylorson went to South Korea 18 months ago seeking the experience of a lifetime.
Today, the 22-year-old Winnipegger is spending her fifth day in a detention centre because immigration officials suspect she was working illegally in the Asian country, her mother said.
?People have been over there for years without proper credentials (and) the powers that be have turned a blind eye,?? said Pat Taylorson.
Her daughter was unaware she was breaking the law, Taylorson said.
Candace Taylorson is one dozens of Canadians who have recently been deported or detained by the South Korean government, which is trying to get rid of foreign teachers who don?t have a degree or certificate in that field. Some are facing criminal charges.
Foreign Affairs told Taylorson that her daughter, lured to the country by a recruiter, was detained after she and a friend tried to board a flight to Canada on Tuesday.
?They had heard there was a crackdown and I basically told her to get the heck out of there,?? she said.
But her daughter was told she couldn?t leave the country. She was told to return to the Seoul airport?s immigration office the next day, and when she did, she was taken into custody. Her friend, Craig Frost, 23, of Carman, Man., got on the plane home.
?We were planning to meet, but she didn?t get on. I knew there was a good chance we?d be detained, so that?s why we split up at the departure gate,?? Frost said.
Pat Taylorson said she?s been told her daughter is being taken care of, won?t be charged with visa fraud and will be deported Tuesday.
?She just wanted to have an adventure and experience a different culture,?? she said. ?Up until that particular point she loved it.??
In the last month, at least 40 Canadians have been deported. Seven more will be home within a week, while the consulate in South Korea is working on the release of four others.
Ontario MP Dan McTeague, the parliamentary secretary for Canadians abroad, said the Canadian consulate knows where the detainees are being held and they aren?t being treated poorly. McTeague said Ottawa has for years been warning Canadians to make sure they understand the changing legal climate in South Korea.
He said many people who get jobs aren?t aware of, or disregard a law that requires them to have a teaching certificate or degree.
Ottawa can?t become involved in contractual conflicts, McTeague said, so people are encouraged to do their homework and become familiar with the country?s laws.
Many find out about the jobs through the Internet, referrals or ads in newspapers.
Taylorson was referred to the recruiter by a friend and got a job at an elementary school near Seoul, South Korea?s capital.
Frost said he went to the country through the same recruiter. When he arrived, he met the man at the airport and was handed a fake teaching degree and transcript in his name.
?You could tell something was not right about it, but at the same time so many people do it. It seemed like one of those laws that isn?t enforced,?? said Frost, who spent a year in the country.
McTeague said the recruiter was jailed last month and gave up his list of teachers to authorities.
The federal government has issued warnings and information to educate people about the dangers and requirements about teaching jobs in South Korea.
?? Copyright by Chronicle Journal.com