The “love stick” may be a tried and true disciplinary method in these parts, but the Canadian authorities apparently have some problems with it:
Vancouver — The father of the 16-year-old North Vancouver high-school student waited for his son to respond before delivering each blow with the cane.
“I’m remorseful and I’m ready,” the boy said over and over again.
Then, the father, who lives in South Korea, told a North Vancouver judge, “I would strike him. Before each blow I’d ask if he agreed this was his fault. Each time he said yes.”
For at least three hours on Jan. 19, the father, who cannot be identified under a court order, caned his son with hundreds of blows. At first, he kept his son on his knees. Then he forced him into a push-up position.
“I was emotional,” the father said, when asked how many blows he had struck. “No room to count numbers. So every time he acknowledged that what he did was wrong, I’d come up with another question.”
What the teenager, who had been sent to school in Canada, had done wrong was to skip class, stay out late and be rude to his mother.
To borrow Chris Rock’s ethical discourse, you should never cane a kid in direct violation of local laws. But I can understand:
“The problem, as some view it, is the father loved his son too much,” said McKinley Ahn, a reporter with the Burnaby-based Korea Times, the paper in which the father’s article is to appear before May. “Not all Koreans do such behaviour, but I understand the father’s position. He sent his son to Canada, paid $27,000 a year for him to go to school in Canada, and the son did not care about his studies. The father could not accept that.”
The father actually give the kid a relatively easy thrashing on Jan. 7, after which the kid promised never to skip class again. Five days later, he was back playing hookie, forcing the father to return to Canada to administer a proper caning.
UPDATE: Gord Sellar has quite a bit to say about this issue over at eclexys.
28 Comments
Someone told me once, “When in Roma, follow Korean way.” I had no idea his son was in Canada though.
ur trackback’s not working..
Anyways, that’s a heck of a whack~
The real question is how much the kid’s gonna change after his *second* behavior modification. And hats off to the Dad - the kid won’t understand the depth of his screw-up unless someone puts it in a context he can understand. And since the first lesson didn’t stick, Dad properly returned for lesson #2.
What do you mean, the kid will be taken away from his dad? The dad has already sent the kid to Canada while he himself remains in Korea. The kid is already away from his dad, for all intents and purposes.
Good point, Dogbert.
If the dad is in Canada, I guess he’ll go to jail in Canada, so they can be closer than they were before.
Seriously, I don’t think that that sort of a beating should be allowed, but in Korea it is (relatively) common, and so we can see these kind of cultural conflicts.
I wonder what the kid or mother think?
The old Korean proverb says: ?橫???????? ????? ?????? ??????????? ????.?? If son were not a good boy in Korea, he wouldn??t do any good overseas either. Poor dad. But I am tired of people making excuses from cultural difference.
??When in Rome, do as the Romans do.??
The children in all likelihood aren’t citizens of Canada, nor are they lawful permanent residents. It is safe to assume they are “temporary entrants” attending private high schools in Vancouver on a tuition-paying basis — that explains the $27,000 per year the father is said to be paying to support his son.
I would be very curious to see what kind of child-protective measures are available to the province in this kind of circumstance. If the child and father are deported back to Korea, more beatings will ensue. Does the child get to apply for asylum, and obtain a right to permanent residency and ultimately citizenship in Canada? I can imagine there are enough Korean parents who might consider a short term in Canadian prison for child-beating a fair price to pay for the desired outcome of getting the kid out of the Korean rat-race.
Yeah, I left a trackback too, but nothing’s showing up… not yet, anyway, though my own software says it was successfully sent. Anyway, here are my thoughts on this, and on the “education problem” in general.
There is a bit more from the story than one might assume. I am well aware of the case as it is the talk of the Korean community here in the Lower Mainland. Brendan, to answer your question, the child has been removed from his family and is in protective care of the Ministry of Children and families. Because he is a minor his status is not being discussed here in the media. He can apply for asylum indirectly, although the Ministry has to do it for him and they are now in loco parentis. Seems unlikely as keeping the family together is the stated aim of the ministry.
The assualt was witnessed by the victim’s friend. According to a friend of mine who works in the North Vancouver courts, the victim was also beaten black and blue about the face. He was sent to school the next day where his teacher reported the beating to the RCMP. The victim told the police what happened and it was corroborated by the friend.
The father was immediately picked up and ranted and raved the he could do anything he wanted to because the boy was his son. He also pushed the Mountie and took a swing at him, which resulted in him being pepper sprayed, hog-tied and tossed in the Paddy-wagon. He then proceeded to rant and rave that he did not recongnise Canadian law. During his first interview with is lawyer and Crown Counsel he laughed at the Crown’s representative because she is a woman. Not surprisingly he was denied bail as a serious flight risk.
The conditional sentence was a total cop-out. Had I done the same to my kids I would have certainly done some time. He got off lightly with time served and a small fine of sorts.
How dare they. How dare the Canadian justice system — in a country with not even 500 years of history, much less 5000 — pretend to have the moral and legal high ground when it comes to the tried and true disciplinary methods employed by generation after generation of loving Korean fathers.
Is the love stick not internationally recognized like taekwondo, kimchi, and Boa? Do the Canadian “authorities” not realize that the level of violence perpetrated against a person is directly proportional to the amount of affection for that person?
Korean husbands are the most loving men in the world toward their wives. All you need to do is check what westerners call “domestic violence” statistics, but what Koreans call “the love index.”
And he hit me…..but it felt like a kiss.
Canadian court sentence = write an editorial.
Georgia court sentence = 5 to 20 years in prison.
Pop quiz: In which place is the lovestick less likely to be used again?
I’ll bet dollars to donuts that after Ms. Lee above went to prison, every goddamn lovestick in Atlanta was retired.
But at least those Canadians are known world-wide as peace-loving peaceniks with the world’s best peacekeepers.
Blujeans makes a few interesting comments ?橫The parents in South Korea really do care more about education than the parents in Canada??- I bet if you asked a few Canadian parents you would get a different opinion. Now I bet not too many Canadians would be up in arms about such a statement, however just imagine if you will, the opposite being said. If somebody dares to suggest that, Koreans don??t care as much as Canadians about their children??s education. All the Gyopos, and Koreans would be yelling, that such words are proof of vile racist hatred of Korea.
Koreans can be a bit arrogant when it comes to comparing families across cultures. The often heard line of ?橫we care more about our family??s then do foreigners?? is an example. Is this true? Well, anybody who has lived in Korea and who has Korean friends will tell you that Koreans talk the talk but don??t walk the walk. Sure they will preach to anybody who will listen how much ??family?? means.
If family is so important then where do all the prostitutes make their money? The average Korean would tell you that the Yankees GI are the cause of all the prostitution and they buy all the hookers. But, that is utter nonsense. 4-5% of all women in Korea support themselves from selling their bodies. That means a lot of dads are spending their money on buying women. Is this family orientated? Do you think that all those prostitutes come from good family life or perhaps a broken home?
Another interesting thing is how pervasive Koreans culture of violence is. Koreans are a violent people. Now, that is not to say that Koreans will walk up to you and beat you. However it??s well know and established that Korean men beat their wives and children. Why is this? Well, Koreans will harp again and again that it??s due to the Japanese occupation. Its learned behavior that apparently can??t be unlearned. However, any of you that study Korean history will tell you that Koreans were more violent to each other before the Japanese came. It was the Japanese who in 1894 guided the Koreans to pass the Kabo reforms which codified into law some early basic human rights.
Violence is all around Korean culture. Now whenever I discuss Koreans culture of violence, usually people bring up George Bush and the Iraq war as if it??s related. Yes other nations do violent things too. But regarding Koreas culture of violence, I would ask you why do Koreans behave this way and what can be done to stop it. I think that Canada is making a very smart move. By not allowing this adult to beat silly his child it sends a message that beating children is wrong. Canada seems to care about the welfare of the child.
I wonder if anybody in Korea is asking what can about the family violence in Korea. I guess by me pointing out that Korean men beat their wives and children; I can expect a few flames. But it??s because of love of Korea that I bring this up. So I will turn the other cheek.
Koreans would get upset if a Canadian said that Canadians care more about education than Koreans.
When I say that Korean parents care more about education than Canadian parents, I speak from 5 years experience teaching in a high school in Canada and in various places for 7 years in Korea. I DO NOT believe that Koreans are any more family-oriented or love their children more than Canadians - the cultures just have different ways of expressing it. Parents back home get up at 5:30 to drive the kid to rink for 6:30.
As for the beating, it seems to me the bad side of Korean’s physicality. People touch each other. Fathers scrub their son’s backs (when they’re 35). Friends hold hands. Drunks grab each other’s legs and walk arm in arm. But then it all turns bad sometimes.
I wonder if the “love stick” is behind these interesting statistics. Korea ranks 15th for murders committed per capita and 4th for “unintentional homicide” or manslaughter per capita - tied with Zimbabwe:
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/cri_man_cap
in loco parentis?
sounds like this boy already had loco parents.
It’s well known and established Korean men beat their wives and children.
It’s well known and established American men shoot people dead period. Case in point the latest cases involving judge killings.
Litle,
Um, when American men shoot people dead, Americans don’t defend it on the basis of our tradition, history, or culture. We abhor it. See the difference?
“Koreans care more about education….” Oh, an old classic. Haven’t seen that one in a few years. I won’t waste my time.
The three hour beating has some to do with nationality and culture? Three hours? THREE HOURS! The father’s not Korean - he’s NUTS!
“He sent his son to Canada, paid $27,000 a year for him to go to school in Canada, and the son did not care about his studies. The father could not accept that.?? So would the father accept a Korean Uni. for 3 million?
I wonder if the ??love stick?? is behind these interesting statistics. Korea ranks 15th for murders committed per capita and 4th for ??unintentional homicide?? or manslaughter per capita - tied with Zimbabwe: “>http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/cri_man_cap
I’ve been to Southern Africa and Korea is definitely much safer than Zimbabwe or South Africa. There is no way that Korea is on the same level of “criminality” in respect of homicides as Zimbabwe. But, perhaps the problem is definitional: As we learned in 2002, there is no such thing in Korea as accidental killing. If a person is killed — say, in a traffic accident — then criminal charges almost always attach.
“Um, when American men shoot people dead, Americans don??t defend it on the basis of our tradition, history, or culture. ”
Yes you’re right. Americans defend it on the basis of tradition, only rights to carry guns and self defense.
Litle,
You missed the point (I think–hard to tell what you meant there). Americans don’t, in general, defend (or excuse) egregious acts of violence.
Do you feel the need to defend this, just because Koreans are involved?
Are you coming down on the side of people who beat the crap out of their children, simply because they’re Koreans?
Brendon,
Good point. Of course, unintentional homicide often gets reported as suicide (both inside the military and in the wider community) in Korea so the numbers are bound to be a bit skewed. I also wonder if industrial accidents causing death are being included and thus pushing the numbers up? It is strange though that the Korean authorities producing the numbers are over reporting in this category (homicide) considering the general policy within gov’t departments to portray Korea in the most positive way possible when compiling statistics for an international audience.
Not at all, square-one-chill from. I am not defending whatever the father did.
Not many people care if they throw the book at him.
And you missed my point. If sweeping generalizations about Korean men beating up women and children are accepted, then it should be also true that Americans are gun lunatics (how many Americans have guns - 50 to 60%?). All I’m saying is that if you believe in the ends justify the mean, it’s satistically speaking, safer to be a wife/children beater than to be gun lunatics who let children play with guns, resulting in killings/maimings, as in the latest case of a 4 yr old child shooting dead his 2 yr old brother. All I’m saying is that it goes both ways.
Litle,
You’re absolutely right. In fact, perhaps Korea should amend its constitution to fall in line with your little thesis.
American “gun lunatics” are protected by the Second Amendment of the Constitution. Korea needs this for kid-beating….
“The government shall make no law abridging the right of the ajoshi to bust down sweet justice, Confucius-style, on the wife and kids….”
But, seriously….you’re not even close to arguing the point anymore. You’ve misdirected yourself. America didn’t have anything more to do with this than did Morocco. Why do you feel that bringing up American gun-related incidents has anything to do with anything being discussed here?
“All I??m saying is that it goes both ways”. I’m calling shenanigans on your ass, dude. That’s not what you’re saying at all. You’re attempting to equate two completely unrelated issues in order to deflect criticism from a phenomenon you can’t (and shouldn’t) rationally excuse.
You also pretend that “sweeping generalizations about Korean men beating up women and children” are somehow at issue here. They aren’t.
The only instance of that particular generalization I can find is the previous: “It??s well known and established Korean men beat their wives and children”. You wrote that, ostensibly so that you could rail against the promulgation of such unfair stereotyping. Interesting technique.
Anyway, have fun in Canada. Study hard (or else!!!!!!)
“Yes you??re right. Americans defend it on the basis of tradition, only rights to carry guns and self defense. ”
Not ?橫tradition??. It??s instinct.
Not ??carry guns??. Possess weapons
If a bear in Korea kills a person because the person approached its young is the bear wrong? Doesn’t the bear have that right?
If I’m home an intruder attacks my family, don’t I have the same right?
I do not have the privilege of constant protection by the law and at the same time I do not exist for a history of “hand-to-hand” combat. I need a weapon.
Hardyandtiny,
What if the bear was about to be turned into a woman and married to a King to start a royal line? Huh? What then?
That’s why guns are bad. You see?
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Re: “He also pushed the Mountie and took a swing at him”
Wow. Is this a result of the last 20 years of Koreans being able to do pretty much whatever they want to the police ?
Re: “During his first interview with is lawyer and Crown Counsel he laughed at the Crown’s representative because she is a woman.”
Damn. This guy sounds like an overall class-A asshole.
News flash to Korean father : you aren’t in Korea anymore, buddy.