The Marmot’s Hole

I received an email a couple of days ago from a woman that I had the opportunity to talk with after she caught me eaves-dropping on a conversation she was having with her friends in Tokyo about a month ago. I couldn’t help myself - they were laughing so hard and the constant exclamations of “really!?” “No, you’re lying!” and “oh my God!” had attracted my curiosity. I nearly forgot about the story except for her email reminded me and then Marmot put the link to one of the earlier postings in one of his recent articles. Marmot - I apologize for this, but it is a good story.

One morning our Western heroine, an English teacher for a pre-school, went to the park near her school with her hoard of young wards ( four year olds) and her assistant, a Japanese woman. The children immediately began to roam the park, playing and exploring, while the two teachers took the opportunity to catch their breath and talk in the manner of adults. Suddenly several of the children ran back to the teachers and exclaimed in excited voices that there was something wrong with a man who was lying naked under some trees. The teachers, alarmed, rushed to the site and discovered that there was a naked man lying there, but he wasn’t a “real” man, but instead, was an anatomically correct blow-up doll. The doll was lying inert on its back but was fully erect in other places and it had two strategically located holes. The teachers assured the children as they prudently herded them away that the man was ok and was merely resting. The teachers tried to protect the innocence of their young wards by avoiding some of their questions but the children were filled with questions such as why the man would be sleeping naked in the park. Even more surprising to our heroine was the naive-ness of her assistant who could not understand why the doll would have two holes in it. Our heroine avoided her questions too in an attempt to protect her young assistant’s innocence. She assured me that it wasn’t quite that unexpected. The doll’s location was near the restroom, and according to some, the park was somewhat popular after the hours of darkness. We all had our questions about this incident. Some people wanted to know why the “owner” of this doll didn’t just deflate it and take it back home. Others speculated that it was a “community property” and that it was there the convenience of those who needed it. Others speculated on the numbers of people that had played with the doll the previous night and how, or if, they cleaned it. To be honest I think that the teachers lost a great chance to teach the children a social lesson about sharing one’s toys - especially dolls.

Do any of you English teachers, teaching in Korea, have a story that can top this Japanese one?