I would like to thank Marmot for his invitation to post on his blog and I hope I don’t disappoint him or you, his readers. About a month ago I took a quick trip to Japan to do some research in the main library at Yokohama and was wondering what I should write for my first entry into the famous “Marmot’s Hole.” Although this does not really fall along the lines of his and Hamel’s excellent blogging - I still thought that someone out there might find some entertainment and perhaps some self-recognition (23C - I am talking about you).
Flights are often long, tedious, and uncomfortable, especially in the economy class. There are few distractions: the magazines are few, and on short flights there are no movies which leaves the remaining dubious pleasure ??? the meal, the only thing to break the monotony of the flight.
It was the Korean woman in the row in front of me who provided me with a great deal of entertainment and the source for my first entry into the ???Marmot?????s Hole???? blog. First of all let me make it clear that regardless of her nationality, this woman and her behavior would have attracted my attention. She was on the wrong side of middle-age and tried desperately to hide it with a thick layer of corpse-like white foundation and a dyed mix of auburn, brown and black hair. She dressed like an adjuma that was still trying to look like she was in her 20s.
To be honest none of the above would have caught my attention except her unbelievable behavior during the meal. The flight attendant wheeled the refreshment cart down the aisle and the woman?????s obvious delight, parked it next to her. While the attendant was busy serving the passengers in the front rows, this woman (we?????ll call her 23C) like a human octopus, snatched a can of beer and two cans of cola and quickly stuffed them into her bag. When the flight attendant finally turned and asked 23C what she would like, 23C, unabashedly, announced that she wanted two more cans of coke and another can of beer. The attendant hid her vexation very well as the woman promptly deposited the new treasures into her bag. I could not believe the woman?????s unashamed behavior, but she promptly outdid herself.
During the meal she quickly deposited the bread and condiments into her purse and finished off her entr??e and then sat down in quiet contemplation. Perhaps she was pondering if she could smuggle the silverware out of the airplane. She actually picked up the fork and studied it for some time, but, realizing that it might be detected, she elected to leave it. When the flight attendant began to gather the trays in the front rows, our Mrs. 23C, like a good Samaritan, offered to take the Japanese passenger (23A)?????s tray so that the Japanese passenger could read her newspaper. Perhaps the Japanese passenger was unaware, or perhaps she chose to ignore it, but no sooner did 23C have the tray she began to root amongst the uneaten food and unused condiments like a pig searching for truffles. The bread, chili pepper sauce, sugar, cream, salt, and pepper all disappeared into the large handbag. I was amazed, but 23C wasn?????t finished amazing me.
When the flight attendant and her cart worked her way down the aisle she inadvertently parked the cart next to 23C. It was a pig?????s day in heaven. While the attendant gathered up the trays, Mrs. 23C began to rummage through the waste of our fellow passengers. Zip, zip, zip, item after item left the waste and became part of the secret trove in Mrs. 23C?????s purse. The attendant actually had to wait for Mrs. 23C to mover her harvesting hands in order to deposit the trays into the cart. I was literally choking with laughter at the exasperated expression of the flight attendant. It was almost too much when Mrs. 23C actually asked the attendant (after the attendant had passed me) to hand her the two rolls that her vulture-like eyes had spied on some other passengers????? trays.
When Mrs. 23C got up to use the lavatory I took the opportunity and peeked over the seat and looked down at her enormous handbag and noted that it was closed but stuffed. My imagination ran wild as I tried to imagine what it could possibly contain. Perhaps a roll or two of industrial-sized toilet paper ??? the fruits of a visit to the restroom in the airport? Was there a pen in her purse that a ticket agent had inadvertently set down in front of Mrs. 23C, and was now probably still looking for it, ignorant to the fact that it was in 23C?????s purse?
I wasn?????t surprised when she returned from the lavatory with a stack of napkins that she had snagged from the attendants????? station. Naturally these napkins went into her bag.
The more I studied 23C, the more I learned (and the quicker time passed). She was obviously a neat and compulsive person: she pulled out a wad of 10,000 won bills and straightened each bill and made sure that each was facing up. My army drill instructors in basic training were not as critical as she seemed to be. She also seemed to have money (probably saved a lot of money not having to pay for toilet paper, beer, cola, cream, salt and pepper) because she easily forked over 221,000 won for duty-free goods. I couldn?????t see what she bought, but I am guessing it was several bottles of ???Christian Dior Ultra Protective Whitening cream base SPF50???? (#25 on the duty free list ??? in case you are interested) at $33 a tube. She was traveling alone to Japan whether to meet her husband or do a little shopping, but I am not sure. Like many people the policy of only one piece of carry-on luggage did not apply to her ??? at least in her mind.
Once our plane came to a stop, she got up and in the manner of a defensive tackle, bowled her way through the milling passengers and through the curtain partition that separated the first class elite from we, the common class, economy.
I am glad to say that this was the last I saw of my jet-set bag lady.
I like Korea and the Korean people. I have lived here a long time and most of my friends are Korean. My home country, the United States, has its share of faults and people that we are less than proud of, but we are willing to admit and accept it. Recently one of my articles that was published with Ohmynews received a great deal of negative feedback. One person wrote that I was giving the world a negative impression of Korea. Let me ask you, the reader of the Marmot?????s Hole, do you think that I deserve all that credit, or should I share some of it with Mrs. 23C?
26 Comments
very funny, robert. she sounds horrendous!!!! i’m all to familiar with uncouth Korean behavior as I have just returned from my LA trip. I wanted to cry as soon as I landed at Incheon.
Koreans’ behaviour in the air and abroad never fails to fill me with national pride at being American. Koreans are increasingly becoming known as the ultimate ugly tourist, and they will soon be vying with us for the top spot. Thanks Korea!
So just what are Koreans thinking when they go abroad?
- It doesn’t matter if GDP per capita is $15K. It was under $500 50 years ago, and the real estate bubble is likely to bring it down there again. Best to stock up on supplies by raping KAL’s beverage service
- Travel is for rich people, and rich people get to act however they want
- If you’re not jumping up and standing in the row IMMEDIATELY after the unfasten seatbelt beep goes off, you’re obviously the one who’s not going to send your kids to 20 hours a week of ?³¼?™¸ so they can get into SNU. Survival of the fittest, lazy-ass chump
- Package tours conducted in Korean mean that the world outside Korea is a non-interactive zoo! No need to respect the animals
- “Relaxing” doesn’t just mean “…your muscles” but also “…your sense of morality”. Why not down 6 plastic minibottles of Chivas immediately upon boarding? You deserve it after that hard year of intermittent NetMarble paduk at the office! And the stewardesses? They’re the ?????€??¼??? ??¸??¸ of the sky! Treat them as such, and get pissed if they refuse you your 10th shot of whiskey
- Once not in the motherland, Koreans are freed from the bounds of social mores, as non-Koreans simply don’t count. The outside world’s opinions of Korea are shaped not by immediate interaction but by Winter Sonata and the LPGA. (It’s true, cause it was on TV last night just after the latest fan-death report)
on a related note, last summer i was involved with an oral language assessment program at KAL’s training facility. one flight attendant told me that she hated to fly to l.a. or n.y. and that dallas was the most enjoyable. she said this was because there were relatively few koreans flying to texas. it seems that she had learned to appreciate the barbarian’s concept of public courtesy and was less tolerant of her own people.
Are you the Robert Neff known as Manga in certain circles in Japan?
Oh, I think it’s all your fault, Neff. Her behavior may have been bad, but your’s was far worse by telling the whole world about it. Since your’s was the greater fault, it automatically absolves 23C of any fault, leaving you holding the bag. You’re a bad man.
Haven’t you learned anything in your time here?
What a great topic…
If you?€™re not jumping up and standing in the row IMMEDIATELY after the unfasten seatbelt beep goes off, you?€™re obviously the one who?€™s not going to send your kids to 20 hours a week of ?³¼?™¸ so they can get into SNU. Survival of the fittest, lazy-ass chump
Wait, you mean there are some Korean people who wait until the “Fasten Seatbelts” all-clear is given? I’ve always noticed, moreso when I fly cattle-class, that Koreans want to pop tall and commence jostling their way to the front of the plane immediately upon touchdown of the rear wheels. Some of the laggards arise and start to rustle up their shit after the helpful message “For your safety, please remain seated until the plane has stopped its movement and the Captain turns off the Fasten Seatbelts sign.” Rules are for suckers!
Similarly, I always get a charge out of how Korean Air prominently tells all passengers smoking is forbidden, while a haze of cigarette stench gathers around the lavatories as stinkbreath Korean “gentlemen” toddle in and out of the shitter with a pack of cigs in the breast pocket of their cheap-looking golf shirts.
Koreans are relatively MELLOW and POLITE passengers compared to many PRC travelers increasingly taking to the international skies.
No, I am not the “Robert Neff in Japan known as Manga - I believe that might be the Japanologist that collects photographs about early Japan and also writes a great deal about Japan. I have been confused with him a couple of times. To be honest - I am sure that it would be better to be him than to be me. ^^
ahhh I see someone coughslimcough has been learning east-asian apologism 101. When confronted, through out a canard and blame the Chinese.
Hey! I think that’s the lady that harrassed me in Kimpo Airport one time!! I was waiting for my plane and a Korean woman (that fit the above description and behavior) sat down opposite me and started to draw my picture. When she was done, she tried to sell it to me, at first nicely, for 20,000 won. When I refused, she actually jacked the price up to 30, then 40,000 won! She started grabbing my arm and WOULDN’T LET GO! I got flustered with all the damn people watching this scene (like I ripped HER off or something!) and the airport security people came up and gently told her to go fuck off in a corner somewhere. I swear to god that was her! You sure she didn’t try to draw someone’s picure on the plane?
Canard, my ass, Jing. You have defended or apologised for — often eloquently and sometimes convincingly — all manner of PRC behavior. But no one who has ever set foot in China (I lived in the PRC for 5 years and could ALMOST match Mr Neff’s tale), driven on Chinese roads, or flown on a plane in that country would ever seriously try to defend Chinese public manners. If I were a Beijing official, bad public manners would be among my bigger concerns about hosting the 2008 Olympics. And I make no apologies for Koreans on the public etiquette front, either — they suck across the board. But I would put SOUTH Koreans a little higher on the learning curve than the mainlanders.
I see Marmot has invited a guest writer to his wonderful blog to engage in a collective chuckle over the ridiculous behaving Asian traveller in what is obviously a fictitious account laden with malicious stereotyping, hyperbole, and closet racism. And of course, the author includes the obligatory qualifier towards the end of the narrative after he’s done bashing to his heart’s content:
robertneff103 wrote:
I like Korea and the Korean people. I have lived here a long time and most of my friends are Korean. My home country, the United States, has its share of faults and people that we are less than proud of, but we are willing to admit and accept it. Recently one of my articles that was published with Ohmynews received a great deal of negative feedback. One person wrote that I was giving the world a negative impression of Korea. Let me ask you, the reader of the Marmot?€™s Hole, do you think that I deserve all that credit, or should I share some of it with Mrs. 23C?
Reminds me of white folks back here in the States who say: I’m not racist against Blacks. I’ve got three Black friends!
Or the expat who lives in Korea: I’m not racist against Koreans. I’ve got a Korean girlfriend/wife! How could I be racist?
Just because you like to stick your Western dick into Asian pussy doesn’t mean you’re not racist.
You don’t want me to launch into a Parody and Satire of the self-righteous expat with the irritating sense of ‘Western superiority’ over ‘Asian backwardness’, who goes to Asia to teach English to escape his loser existence back in the West. Trust me on this.
As much as I appreciate bluejives interest in my “obviously (a) fictitious account laden with malicious stereotyping, hyperbole, and closet racism” I can assure him that the entire article was true. And, though I agree with at least part of your thinking (the “least” amount of it) I would hazard to suggest that the “closet racism” might be better directed in another direction -
Nonetheless I appreciate your feedback and I am sure that I can count on your comments to my further articles/posts. Wishing you the best
My sister is a flight attendant for United Airlines, and believe me, your stories pales compared to the ones she’s told me, like about angry white men in business suits throwing food at her because they can’t get a fourth round of booze on a ONE HOUR flight…although yes, Asian passengers provide occasional comic relief.
I suppose you are right slim. Many Chinese travelers are obnoxious. I suppose a hallmark of sophistication is learning to either accept the failings of your countrymen or laugh them off. I suppose the Americans have had their share what with the Ugly American stereotype and all, only fitting that others would have a share of the same. Despite the woman’s behavior, there is something to be said about frugality. Being practical with resources is hardly a sin, and faulting people for what is perceived as “low-class” behavior is parochial and chauvinistic. For many when poverty was a very real and recent memory, it is difficult to change patterns of consumption even with newfound wealth. There was an interesting article posted at the LivingInGermany blog aggrogator which detailed some of the interesting quirks of the Ossies(former East Germans) such as saving common items such as shoe boxes and wrapping paper. Such austerity was at one time a neccessity of life and while seemingly low-brow in the minds of so-called sophisticated peoples, is in essence a manifestation of the indominetable human spirit to persevere.
Anyways You’ll have to forgive me for being a bit touchy over the behavior of Chinese travelers. I’ve been a bit defensive recently ever since Iris Chang commited suicide and a slew of of Japologists have come out of the woodwork over the Nanjing massacre. Did you know that the Nanjing massacre was perpetrated by Chinese warlord troops and Korean auxillaries in the IJA!
Recently one of my articles that was published with Ohmynews received a great deal of negative feedback.
A “great deal of” negative feedback? Am I reading the wrong article? I see only two comments on this article, and one of them is yours.
Reminds me of a little episode when I was flying from Atlanta to Paris a couple of years ago. The American guys in front of me reclined their seats as soon as they were done with their meals, and literally squished the half-full food trays of the French couple sitting next to me. The couple, for some reason, wouldn’t ask the guys to straighten their chairs and just grumbled between themselves, until the guy finally lost it and started banging on the seat in front of him and yelling. The American guy looked back, feigning innocence, and a little squabble took place. Was quite a silly situation, really. Stupidity knows no borders.
jing, you need to stay away from the hellhole that is japantoday.. i havent visited that site ni months and have never felt better
LOL I am amazed that you knew precisely what I was referring to IDC!
I fully agree with many of you - “Stupidity knows no borders.” I also have my share of stupid white guys on airplanes as well as everyone else. One of my Korean friends read the article before I ever posted it and he said that he would have felt better if I just not added the race of the woman and left it blank - letting people draw their own conclusions, obviously I disagreed. I really thought that the flight attendant on the flight (Korean) had gone beyond the call of duty in maintaining her composure and I seriously doubt if an American flight attendant would have been so calm about it. On the return flight we had a smoking incident in the bathroom - I sat next to what might have been an air marshal (this man was huge and had an expression that basically said - I am not interested in being bothered) next to the emergency exit near the attendant station. He was the one that first smelled smoke. The attendants immediately begin banging on the door and demanding it open - a clearly distraught elderly Korean woman opened the door to the bathroom but she clearly was not the culprit, it was someone before her. I heard the attendants talking amongst themselves and the marshal(?) and they all agreed that it was a younger Korean man, but there was no proof so they could do nothing but stress over the inner-com - in Korean that smoking was not allowed and would be prosecuted. The scary point about this is not that someone smoked in the bathroom - it is that the smoke alarm did not work! It had not been tampered with! (United Airlines are you reading this?)
As to the negative feedback - you are right there are only a couple of negative posts on the article itself but please remember that emails are included and mine is readily available on my column. Someday I think I will post some of the incredible feedback on some of these articles (people insisting that it is correct to hit Korean women because they expect it to be done). As a side-note, a lot of the strongest attacks came from my own Korean friends - it’s always nice to know that your friends will tell you exactly what they think. Ha ha….
One further thing - even though many of my articles seem to concentrate on negative things and observations, let’s be honest, what would you rather read…… something that is wrong, bad, horrible, criminal….or about the group of children that cleaned the park yesterday. Many of us are glad to see that the children cleaned the neighborhood park yesterday but most likely the first thing you are going to look at is the bloody double homicide that was discovered up-town.
‘articles concentrate on the negative…would you rather hear about children in
the park cleaning?’
well, no, i wouldn’t. but is that all that happens to you outside of work? what do you
do in korea in your off-time? do you watch korean movies? do you seek cultural knowledge about the koreans?
or are you just interested in korean women and the unfairness of your treatment
in korea?
this is about balance.
Ahhh, e-mail… Didn’t think of that. I must be too mind-blogged.
Yeah seriously try taking an Air China flight sometime and we’ll talk. At least on KAL flights the flight attentants are polite.
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