The Marmot’s Hole

Hey, if it’s in Pravda, it’s got to be true:

Chingiz khan is to blame for Russian drunks

In search of a revolutionary drug to cure alcoholism and hang-over, scientists were able to establish direct genetic correlation between traditional weakness of the Russians for the alcoholic beverages and the invasion of the Tatar hordes of Chingiz khan on the Russian territory, writes one of the journalists of The Times Jeremy Page.

Scientists claim that almost half of the Russian population inherited Mongol genes consequently causing more alcohol to be absorbed by blood. Russians also require more time to fully digest alcohol than Europeans for instance. This means that Russians drink more heavily, suffer from severe hang-over and are overall more susceptible to become alcohol dependent, especially taking into account Russian love for vodka, tough climate and social-economic chaos in the country since the collapse of the USSR.

“The difference is tremendous-it can be noticed from one’s reactions, shaking hands, and so on,” stated Vladimir Nuzhny from the National Narcological Research Center of the Ministry of Health. “On average, 50% of people in Moscow possess such Mongol gene. We assume that this particular gene is to blame,” said Nuzhny.

Hey, maybe Napoleon was right when he said, “Grattez le Russe, et vous trouverez le Tartare.”

In the course of the research, scientists paid 12 students-volunteers to consume 350 grams of vodka in an hour. Their behavior was closely monitored.

“Based on the Western standards, 350 grams of vodka is a lot. In Russia however this is a norm,” informed doctor Nuzhny The Times. “At first, the students thought everything was fine: they were getting paid for drinking! Afterwards, however, they realized they had been mistaken.”

While being intoxicated, each one of the students had to complete certain tests. They included answering questions, driving in video games. They were also asked to blow in special tubes in order to measure their level of alcohol. Scientists even paid close attention at how fast the students were standing up from their seats.

After some rest, the students were given breakfast and had to undergo another set of tests in order to measure their hang-over. It turned out that those students with Mongol genes absorbed 50% more alcohol and digested it significantly slower than the rest of the students.

“They tend to experience a different sensation while being intoxicated. They are more susceptible to aggressions or depressions,” remarked Nuzhny. “They do not necessarily resemble Mongol facial features. However, they do have this Mongol gene.”

This might be silly, but why do I suspect the 350 grams of vodka an hour average is more to blame for the alcoholism problem than the Mongol gene?

Mongols traveled through Asia and Russia and afterwards invaded Europe in XII century. They ruled Russia for nearly 300 years. Interracial marriages were quite common between Mongols and people of other nations.

Scientists already knew that people of Mongol descent including Chinese, Koreans and Japanese, possessed a ferment responsible for alcohol digestion which was not is not as strong as in Europeans.

Chinese, Koreans, and Japanese might take issue with being called Mongol descendents. Especially the Chinese, who aren’t even related to Mongols ethno-linguistically.

Doctor Nuzhny claims that he conducts the first research of alcohol effects specifically on Russians with Mongol genes. According to him, such phenomenon can be explained by evolution. Mongolian nomads, who knew alcohol only in the form of fermented horse milk, acquired an additional ferment in the course of evolution. Their genetic make up differed from Europeans, who used to consume rather strong alcoholic beverages made of grapes and wheat.

The research indicates that Russians consume 15 liters of pure alcohol per person annually. This is one of the highest rates of alcohol consumption in the world. According to the research, every seventh Russian suffers from alcoholism. Alcohol is often regarded as being responsible for a relatively short lifespan (59).

You know, the irony of this all is that the Mongolians tend to blame the Russians for turning their country into a nation of drunks. Courtesy Mongolia Today:

Each and every Mongol drinks, consuming about 12 liters of alcohol per capita, from the very top to very down, male and female. Drinking become a custom, and it is hard to believe that 30 years ago Mongols were almost all but abstinent.

Ever since Chinggis Khaan times, drinking alcohol was strongly discouraged, and only matured elders over 36 were allowed to drink at their will, and even in that case, only a mild, 13-15 % proof beverage made of distilled milk was available. Historical records left a description of a civil unrest back in 13th century when enraged residents of Khar Horum, the capital city gathered at the doors of the Khaan Palace demanding to close a wine store run by a foreigner.

Seven centuries later, under the faltering socialist economy short of goods and services, the new rulers found a way to collect back wages given to workers. In 1959 the first distillery producing vodka was built, and a heavy public relation campaign praising ?��modest consumption?�? of alcohol launched. Mongolian Youth League members traveled for months all across the country, promoting the benefits of drinking alcohol. Well, the task was fulfilled and the state coffers again swelled along with the climbing number of drinking people. Mongols do drink, and unfortunately it turns into a national trait. Scientific research showed that Mongols lack a blood ferment that disintegrates alcohol, and for this reason, Mongols get drunk easily losing any control. As much as 80% of all crimes are being committed while drunken.

See also this:

“For a long time our society was based on communist methods,” she said.

“Mongolia was a very strong Buddhist country before that. We had 700 monasteries. They controlled education, healthcare and culture. But I think it’s possible to say our culture was ruined. The Russians have, traditionally, used very cruel methods to control adults and children. Their methods were forced on us.”

According to Badamhand, the escalation of alcohol abuse in Mongolia has catalysed this violence. She also attributed the drinking problem to Russia’s influence.

“Mongolia was one of the only countries that, for many hundreds of years, had strong restrictions on drinking. But after 1945 we gained the right to drink. Vodka was brought in from Russia. Around 1960 many young people were going to Russia to study and at that time I began to see drunks on the street. Russia cultivated this habit here.”

Screw the Stamp Wars, Internet Wars, Mural Wars, and History Wars — what Northeast Asia really needs is a Drunkeness War.

(Hat tip to The Politburo Diktat)